Subtle signs of class

[Anonymous]

I am keeping my first edition copies of French cookbooks.

[Anonymous]

We also switched to Kindle. We have a lovely bookcase that we now have just a few favorites on, like my mother's Sherlock Holmes, books about Hawaii, etc. The rest is bric a brac, basically. Chinese and Japanese ceramics from trips, wood carvings from Russia when it was still USSR. etc.
And oh yes, two shelves are used for books DH and I have written.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We also switched to Kindle. We have a lovely bookcase that we now have just a few favorites on, like my mother's Sherlock Holmes, books about Hawaii, etc. The rest is bric a brac, basically. Chinese and Japanese ceramics from trips, wood carvings from Russia when it was still USSR. etc.
And oh yes, two shelves are used for books DH and I have written.

Love it! Romantasy or straight-up erotica?

[Anonymous]

Haha not doxxing us with real genre. But def not romantasy or chick lit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Decor from other countries, not decor from TJ Maxx.

You are confusing class with wealth, but that's so typical of DCUM.

And yet you won’t find members of the UC pushing a dirty shopping cart around TJ Maxx looking at trash. Well… except for my mother—but there is mental illness driving it with her.

Wait are you saying classy people don’t shop at TJ Maxx or rich people don’t? I can personally confirm that some super, generationally rich people I know shop there. If that makes them loss points in the class war so be it but they’re at least being smart with money.

Can confirm. Some of the richest ladies I know love a bargain and finding a needle in the haystack. Goodwill, to a lesser degree. TJ Maxx, yes. Consignment stores in wealthy neighborhoods. The wealthiest ladies can pull this off because their entire look whispers "I'm rich" and no one would think they go it for 1/10th of the retail price.

My extremely rich Aunt in Greenwich loves TJ Maxx. My mom too. They always look so good. They mix bargains in with their regular stuff. But both of them are Talbots outlet, TJ Maxx, Home Goods fanatics.

My siblings and I are wealthy. I have a hard time typing this though. Not a single one of us feels wealthy. You'd never know it from the way any of us shop/dress/look.

Again, wealthy and class are not the same. A classy person could shop at TJ Maxx and still be classy. I don’t care where Kim K shops or how expensive it is, she’s not classy.

Just because your aunt or your sibling is rich does not make them classy. Does not make them gauche either - who knows, we’d have to meet them to know.

[Anonymous]

The opposite of what appears to be the wearing of a form fitting negligee to a White House dinner with cleavage showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally, yes. Books are a definite sign of class as is a tasteful home. Clean and calm and smells fresh (like outside fresh not plug-ins stink).

Yes to this EXCEPT the books. Most of us are going digital. I got rid of most of my books during Covid and I have a library. I decided it’s too much dust. I turned the room into a cozy reading/relaxing room adjacent to my home office.

So you agree, you think you're really classy?

Thinking and knowing are two different things. To answer your question - I don’t THINK I’m classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice (i.e. 70k +) cars, updated house finishes, tons of books and unique art, high quality but smallish wardrobe, spends most of their extra money on travel and experiences rather than things

Both parents have graduate degrees

Nice house with *very* short commute (think Kalorama)

Private schooling and private sports/language/music/etc. lessons for kids. Get their kids involved with expensive sports (tennis, skiing, golf, horseback riding, sailing if you live in Maryland, etc.) from a young age.

You can tell a lot by the way a person eats and works out. Boutique exercise classes, slender physique, eats mainly "clean" locally sourced organic foods.

Lol no. This is what new money thinks gives them class.

give me a break. you think rich people don't like to have nice things?

DCUM has a very warped perception of how rich people live.

You're thinking about broke WASPs. They try to make things last because: they're broke. The generational money they were relying on ran out in the last generation and they're too lazy to make some more on their own.

+1

There's a lot of conflating broke WASP culture with class in this thread. They're not the same thing.

Perhaps, but the flashy outward displays of wealth you see around here definitely DO NOT equal class, quite the opposite. Only new money feels the need to prove to everyone how much money they have.

Old money is not a monolith. But there’s plenty of no money (formerly old-money) that feels the need to prove how much money they *used to* have. But they do it with certain brands of things like racism, as opposed to certain branded handbags or whatever. Again, not everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Class is how you treat other people, OP. If your parents did not teach you this, OP I can't help you.

Being concerned with morals is super middle classed.

The pathetic middle class alone are concerned with morals?
All others are immoral.

The rich are immoral grifters. (A little extrapolation there.)

Actually, the wealthy aristocrats didn't have to be concerned with morals because.... they are born to that station in life and didn't need to care what other people think.
In Brideshead Revisited, the Lord of the manner remarked how his future middle class wife's concerns with the immorality of his sister living with her lover was "so middle class".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Decor from other countries, not decor from TJ Maxx.

You are confusing class with wealth, but that's so typical of DCUM.

And yet you won’t find members of the UC pushing a dirty shopping cart around TJ Maxx looking at trash. Well… except for my mother—but there is mental illness driving it with her.

Wait are you saying classy people don’t shop at TJ Maxx or rich people don’t? I can personally confirm that some super, generationally rich people I know shop there. If that makes them loss points in the class war so be it but they’re at least being smart with money.

Can confirm. Some of the richest ladies I know love a bargain and finding a needle in the haystack. Goodwill, to a lesser degree. TJ Maxx, yes. Consignment stores in wealthy neighborhoods. The wealthiest ladies can pull this off because their entire look whispers "I'm rich" and no one would think they go it for 1/10th of the retail price.

My extremely rich Aunt in Greenwich loves TJ Maxx. My mom too. They always look so good. They mix bargains in with their regular stuff. But both of them are Talbots outlet, TJ Maxx, Home Goods fanatics.

My siblings and I are wealthy. I have a hard time typing this though. Not a single one of us feels wealthy. You'd never know it from the way any of us shop/dress/look.

Again, wealthy and class are not the same. A classy person could shop at TJ Maxx and still be classy. I don’t care where Kim K shops or how expensive it is, she’s not classy.

Just because your aunt or your sibling is rich does not make them classy. Does not make them gauche either - who knows, we’d have to meet them to know.

DP

The classiest people I know IRL (friends and family with old money who fit the classic East Coast WASP definition) don’t shop in TJ Maxx.

Practically speaking, they don’t shop for sport. They wear understated clothing, etc. (no labels), the same understated (but expensive) jewelry all the time, etc. But everything they wear and put in their homes is classic, high quality, and expensive. Nothing gaudy; everything is just beautiful.

Their homes have hardwood floors, amazing kitchens, and real art. They don’t have plastic hand soap containers. They have antique furniture. Their dishes and utensils are high quality. Their towels and bedding are luxurious. Their toiletries are amazing. They have fresh flowers and their fridge is stocked with healthy organic food.

Their Christmas decor is lovely.

Think: Ralph Lauren but better.

[Anonymous]

You may need to breakdown what you mean by social class. I know you said not wealth, but American ideas of class have really shifted in the last few generations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha not doxxing us with real genre. But def not romantasy or chick lit.

Oh yes, because you and your husband are the only authors out there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good selection of books. Not too many mass market paperbacks, self help, or coffee table books.

Are on the walls. It doesn't have to be originals, but not some random Thomas Kinkade or similar that you picked up at Home Goods. Professional family portraits/self portraits on the walls vs the LifeTouch school photos and family vacay pics.

If there's a dog, it's well behaved. Never jumps on guests and obeys commands to sit and lay.

Big loss of points if there's a TV in the living room. TVs are for the family room, not formal living room.

Shelves and surfaces aren't cluttered with random knickknacks from travels.

If a piano is present, it's in tune. Nothing more telling than a guest setting down to play something and it being out of tune.

That's a provincial, suburban mindset right there. A lot of us live in cities here... there's only a living room. And the tv is in it. Oops!

Yes. Not to mention PP’s weird country phrasing of “setting down to play” piano.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Decor from other countries, not decor from TJ Maxx.

You are confusing class with wealth, but that's so typical of DCUM.

And yet you won’t find members of the UC pushing a dirty shopping cart around TJ Maxx looking at trash. Well… except for my mother—but there is mental illness driving it with her.

Wait are you saying classy people don’t shop at TJ Maxx or rich people don’t? I can personally confirm that some super, generationally rich people I know shop there. If that makes them loss points in the class war so be it but they’re at least being smart with money.

Can confirm. Some of the richest ladies I know love a bargain and finding a needle in the haystack. Goodwill, to a lesser degree. TJ Maxx, yes. Consignment stores in wealthy neighborhoods. The wealthiest ladies can pull this off because their entire look whispers "I'm rich" and no one would think they go it for 1/10th of the retail price.

My extremely rich Aunt in Greenwich loves TJ Maxx. My mom too. They always look so good. They mix bargains in with their regular stuff. But both of them are Talbots outlet, TJ Maxx, Home Goods fanatics.

My siblings and I are wealthy. I have a hard time typing this though. Not a single one of us feels wealthy. You'd never know it from the way any of us shop/dress/look.

Again, wealthy and class are not the same. A classy person could shop at TJ Maxx and still be classy. I don’t care where Kim K shops or how expensive it is, she’s not classy.

Just because your aunt or your sibling is rich does not make them classy. Does not make them gauche either - who knows, we’d have to meet them to know.

DP

The classiest people I know IRL (friends and family with old money who fit the classic East Coast WASP definition) don’t shop in TJ Maxx.

Practically speaking, they don’t shop for sport. They wear understated clothing, etc. (no labels), the same understated (but expensive) jewelry all the time, etc. But everything they wear and put in their homes is classic, high quality, and expensive. Nothing gaudy; everything is just beautiful.

Their homes have hardwood floors, amazing kitchens, and real art. They don’t have plastic hand soap containers. They have antique furniture. Their dishes and utensils are high quality. Their towels and bedding are luxurious. Their toiletries are amazing. They have fresh flowers and their fridge is stocked with healthy organic food.

Their Christmas decor is lovely.

Think: Ralph Lauren but better.

The fact that everything you wrote was about material goods tells me you don’t understand what class is at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Decor from other countries, not decor from TJ Maxx.

You are confusing class with wealth, but that's so typical of DCUM.

And yet you won’t find members of the UC pushing a dirty shopping cart around TJ Maxx looking at trash. Well… except for my mother—but there is mental illness driving it with her.

Wait are you saying classy people don’t shop at TJ Maxx or rich people don’t? I can personally confirm that some super, generationally rich people I know shop there. If that makes them loss points in the class war so be it but they’re at least being smart with money.

Can confirm. Some of the richest ladies I know love a bargain and finding a needle in the haystack. Goodwill, to a lesser degree. TJ Maxx, yes. Consignment stores in wealthy neighborhoods. The wealthiest ladies can pull this off because their entire look whispers "I'm rich" and no one would think they go it for 1/10th of the retail price.

My extremely rich Aunt in Greenwich loves TJ Maxx. My mom too. They always look so good. They mix bargains in with their regular stuff. But both of them are Talbots outlet, TJ Maxx, Home Goods fanatics.

My siblings and I are wealthy. I have a hard time typing this though. Not a single one of us feels wealthy. You'd never know it from the way any of us shop/dress/look.

Again, wealthy and class are not the same. A classy person could shop at TJ Maxx and still be classy. I don’t care where Kim K shops or how expensive it is, she’s not classy.

Just because your aunt or your sibling is rich does not make them classy. Does not make them gauche either - who knows, we’d have to meet them to know.

DP

The classiest people I know IRL (friends and family with old money who fit the classic East Coast WASP definition) don’t shop in TJ Maxx.

Practically speaking, they don’t shop for sport. They wear understated clothing, etc. (no labels), the same understated (but expensive) jewelry all the time, etc. But everything they wear and put in their homes is classic, high quality, and expensive. Nothing gaudy; everything is just beautiful.

Their homes have hardwood floors, amazing kitchens, and real art. They don’t have plastic hand soap containers. They have antique furniture. Their dishes and utensils are high quality. Their towels and bedding are luxurious. Their toiletries are amazing. They have fresh flowers and their fridge is stocked with healthy organic food.

Their Christmas decor is lovely.

Think: Ralph Lauren but better.

The fact that everything you wrote was about material goods tells me you don’t understand what class is at all.

Geez, I’m going with the traditional sense for the purpose of the thread.

Aren’t we talking about what classy people have in their homes?

What would your preferred response be, pp?

Loving parent(s) who work at a nonprofit or some noble profession, volunteer, and treat everyone with dignity and respect?

FTR, I can check those boxes.

But in the spirit of the thread, I think posters are looking for tangible things rather than intangible qualities.

Signed,

SJW who couldn’t care less about labels and still owns clothes I bought in college because good quality items last forever and are better for the environment than fast fashion junk

PS - I haven’t bought jewelry for myself in 30 years and prefer to wear the same pieces my DH gave me way back when

PPS - Assumptions aren’t typically spot on