Am I being unreasonable?
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Anonymous
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We are over being cooped up in our apartment with no outdoor space and DH's parents generously offered for us to come stay with them for the summer. They have a great backyard with a pool and live close to a beach. We have both been social distancing, although we are stricter than they are. Our bigger concern is us getting them sick, but of course we prefer not to get sick sick either. We are really tempted to go, but there is one thing holding me back and DH thinks I am being crazy for letting this be an issue.
DH's parents insist on wearing their shoes inside and will not even entertain not doing so. His dad is old school and thinks it's uncomfortable to walk around without shoes and that we are crazy germophobes. I have always just dealt with it in the past, but since they go to the grocery store 1-2x per week and take daily walks around the neighborhood (including some busier streets) I am worried they could be bringing Covid inside on the soles of their shoes - and our 11 month old who is crawling and puts everything in his mouth would be at increased risk of contracting it and then giving it to everyone else. DH thinks it's a non-issue and I need to let it go, but I am seriously thinking maybe we should not go because of it. How would others feel about this? And no, there is no compromise - they will not remove their shoes while inside, we have asked and they understand we may not come because it it. |
Anonymous
| I think it sounds fine if you get along with them. The shoe issue is not a big deal. Maybe get him some comfortable solid slippers. And, going to the grocery store 1-2 times a week is fine too, especially if they wear a mask. |
Anonymous
| Let it go. Don't let your kid crawl outside your bedroom. And put a blanket down otherwise. It's summer so the kid can be outside too. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely let it go. Maybe offer to get him some house shoes? Sneakers, loafers, or whatever he prefers, but designated for in the house only. But seriously, I would absolutely not let that stop you from going if you're otherwise okay with it. |
Anonymous
| Why can’t you buy them house shoes ? Will they do that ? |
Anonymous
In their OWN home? They get to make the rules in the home THEY OWN. Not their DIL. |
Anonymous
| Totally unreasonable for you to expect or even ask for that. I have not heard anything that makes me think this is a Covid risk but if it bothers you, you should not go. |
Anonymous
| No, this would not bother me. We also wear shoes in the house sometimes. But by all means, make your life more difficult if it bothers you that much. |
Anonymous
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I feel for you because you have a kid who is crawling so is right down there on the floor. Your DH could talk to them along the lines of house-only shoes and emphasizing the crawling/putting stuff in the mouth phase for your child. If it comes from DH, their son, it's frankly likelier to maybe get their attention than if it comes from you as the in-law.
I wouldn't not go because of this, but I have seen posts on DCUM from people saying they are health care professionals and always remove their shoes after work and after going to places like the store. So I think your concerns actually are valid. But--how much are the in-laws going to places like grocery stores, drugstores, Home Depot, etc.? If they aren't, I wouldn't worry much. If they are going out to such places frequently then yeah, I'd have DH talk to them. |
Anonymous
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Thanks all - first off, totally recognize it's their house and if they aren't open to taking their shoes off that is totally within their right... that's why I am saying I don't know if I want to go.
FIL will not consider slippers or house shoes. He thinks it's annoying to take his shoes on and off. It's just not going to happen. IL's go on a walk daily and walk through the main street in their town, then they go to the grocery store or other stores 2X per week. There is no way the baby will only crawl in our bedroom - we will spend most of our time in the main living space area which is where all the toys would go. |
Anonymous
Wow. Nasty. |
Anonymous
| While I think wearing shoes inside is gross, I don't think it necessarily increases your risk of catching covid. |
Anonymous
Np. Pp you are the childish one. Wearing shoes in your home is not nasty! Unless you work on a pig farm. Grow the hell up. OP you ARE being unreasonable. Stay home if you choose but dont be a dictator about this. Soon your crawling baby will be walking and then it wont matter as much |
Anonymous
| I guess don't go if it bothers you. I mean it doesn't seem like you really have a choice. And you'll be anxious the whole time you're there. |
Anonymous
| The baby will be walking very soon and crawling will soon be a non-issue. |