Two kids has pushed me beyond my limitations
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Anonymous
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I had the recent realization that having a second child pushed me beyond my limitations for noise and chaos. My kids are 5 and 3 and I'm totally in love with them both. Most of the time though, I hate spending time with them together because their personalities often change, they get whiney, compete for attention, argue, get rambunctious, etc. Even when they are getting along it's just a lot more noise and craziness. When I have either of them one-on-one, it is amazing. Chill, quality time. Opportunities for one-on-one time are few and far between, especially right now.
My tolerance for noise and chaos is low and it doesn't help that my youngest does that high-pitched thing that is like a knife to the head (and it rarely comes out if you are one-on-one with him, only when his sibling is around). I'm not sure what the point of my thread is. Can anyone relate, though? How did you cope or manage to lower the chaos level in your house? |
Anonymous
| I coped by stopping with one kid. I knew myself well. But honestly, it won’t last forever. Try to enjoy them. Go outside. |
Anonymous
| Give yourself time outs if you are able. It could be as simple as stepping outside for a few minutes to just have calm. I have three kids. Every day at 1:30, everyone has to go to rooms for quiet time. If your kids are not used to that, keep enforcing it the same time every day. It will get better and they will get used to it as a part of their routine. When you do have them together, give one kid an activity that will distract them while you do something one on one with the other. |
Anonymous
I’m with you. My kids are 7 and 10 and together also annoy the crap out of me. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t make the jump to 3. And yes, I have at times thought how easy one would be. But they do have moments of playing nicely at times. And one on one they are great 
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Anonymous
| It gets better. Really. When both are in ES you will be loving life. They are more independent, learn things not from you, and make friends. They won't need entertaining. You'll learn to relate to them in a new way. Just hang in there - your almost there! |
Anonymous
| I think about having to give one back. Which would you choose??? Impossible to think about life without either. Then I realize it’s the just the cost of getting to have two amazing kids. |
Anonymous
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The 3 yo has broken me multiple times a day. The 5 yo is a little better, but not when he perceives that his sibling got something that he did not. It's impossible to get any work done. I haven't had any free time since mid-March. No reading, no Netflix binging, nothing. I'm about ready to quit my job, but I'm the breadwinner. Eff all these people who claim that they have more time on their hands and are "bored." Eff them. Eff them. Eff them.
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Anonymous
| I'm curious what made you want to have a second child if you know you have a low tolerance for the things kids make- noise, chaos, messes, etc? |
Anonymous
Not OP, but I'm an only child. If you don't have experience with the sibling dynamic, you might not anticipate it. It was definitely a huge difference in noise level by adding #2. We weren't put off by it, and added #3 also. My kids are teens now, but I do occasionally look at families with only 1 kid and think about how much smoother the dynamics are, and how much quieter their houses must be. |
Anonymous
Well the problem is the stay-at-home order, not necessarily the 2 kids, right? I have 2 and they are high energy boys, and normally we cope by going out to activities and playdates. Now it's just insanity being stuck at home. We do go outside and ride bikes, but it's hard to find enough to do. |
Anonymous
It's a 3 year old thing, not a 2 kid thing. I have one kid and he's 3 and it's just impossible. They're unpredictable, emotionally and physically explosive little terrorists. I don't know who has all this extra time on their hands and are bored, but clearly they don't have young kids and are trying to juggle full time work responsibilities with full time child care. My little carve out of "me" time is to do the grocery shopping once a week. I sit in the car in the parking lot of 15 minutes and read in blissful silence and eat peanut butter cups. |
Anonymous
This is the issue with the quarantine. I’m a SAHM with ES aged girls and we are bored and would love to play with your two littles if that was allowed. |
Anonymous
| I'm the poster with the 3 and 5 year old. I'm just venting. Let me vent. |
Anonymous
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Another mom of 2 boys - 3YO and 5YO here. I get it. I totally get it. I'm an only child so I'm a bit of an introvert and enjoy the quiet and this is all a lot to handle. Being cooped up, trying to work from home, not being able to see friends and family, not being able to go places we used to to burn off energy, having to tell them that their camps and pools are closed this summer, having to cancel vacations, it all sucks and is making it 23876503485x's worse.
We've had luck with 1-2-3 Magic and 1:1 time. I tend to react emotionally and yell, we'll have a great day and then around 6pm these kids just get crazy and I lose it. And limiting screen time for my 5YO has also helped, he gets pretty wired when he's allowed to watch the tablet. He watches a lot of "gamer" videos that are obnoxious, but he really likes them so I tried limiting to 30-60 minutes a day, which wasn't helping. This week just blocked them completely, I already see a difference. |
Anonymous
| OP, are your kids both boys? Just curious. |