Can someone please break down the pros and cons of Waldorf and Montessori for me? Critical in laws

[Anonymous]

Long story short, my in-laws are very judgmental that my children attend public and not Montessori or Waldorf school, of which they are enormous proponents.
We send our kids to public because (a) we can afford it (b) we have good public schools in our town and (c) the people I have met who do Montessori or Waldorf have been very judgmental or sort of...insular. I am sure not everyone is like that but it has been my experience.

We are doing a huge family Zoom with them tomorrow and I know they will bring it up again. They bring it up whenever we speak, which is its own issue, but anyway - with more time on my hands I'd like some more well-reasoned arguments about why these schools aren't the be all and end all, as well as why they might be awesome and beneficial! I am open to all sides, just want to be more conversant in the philosophies.

[Anonymous]

Here the local Waldorf school has a vaccine rate of 66%. Um, no thanks. I can't tell you anything else about it because that was a deal breaker for me, and perhaps might sway them in these times (and I know because our local health department publishes vaccine rates for schools. maybe yours does as well).

Honestly, Montessori schools differ a lot depending on how closely they implement the philosophies. Have you actually toured any in your area? That might be all you need to do to come up with your own list of cons. Obviously, it will be a while before you can do so. (I toured two near me years ago and one was teacher was clearly overwhelmed responding to all of the students, and in the other the teacher spent the entire time berating students for the positioning of their little work carpets.)

And if you love it, and they love it, ask them to pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Tell IL's you are the parents and happy with the education decisions you've made for your children. Keep changing the subject and don't defend yourself. " We're do happy with the school the kids are in." Hey FIL how's your golf game going?

[Anonymous]

Just shut them down. "We are happy with our school choice and it is not up for discussion." And if they bring it up again: "this is not up for discussion and if you bring it up again we are ending the call." And follow through.

[Anonymous]

THere are a lot more great private schools that aren’t Waldorf or Montessori. Why is your family stuck on those two philosophies?

I had the same issue but reversed with my in-laws - they used to continually say they didn’t “understand” why we sacrifice to send our kids to private school. FINALLY DH said, “I don’t know any smaller words I could use so that you’d understand so how about this: our kids - our decision.”


It ended the comments but not the eye-rolls until they got involved with the school. Now they are champions!

[Anonymous]

Waldorf and Montessori have very different educational philosophies. I’ve never known anyone who loved (or was that strong a proponent) of both.

I think they just want to complain and criticize.

[Anonymous]

You need to shut this down, just say we are thrilled with our schools. You do not need to defend your decision. Just say you are not interested in other schools and you, your husband and children are happy with this decision and totally change the subject. Do this every single time.You could also have your husband talk to them and be firm and tell them to stop discussing your choice of schools. You are the parents, you make the decisions. Amen.

[Anonymous]

Parent posters have it right. The underlying problem is that the in laws need a briefing on the role of a grandparent vs a parent. If you don’t shut this down then you will just get questioned on the next big parenting decision,
Too.

As long as the child is happy and wants to learn/read/do homework then it doesn’t matter much. Everything in elementary school is taught at a pace that brings almost all the kids to a similar spot in middle school. Tracking other than in math is largely a thing of the past.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP but you lost me at family Zoom. If they give you any grief, simply stand your ground and insist public school works for your family. End of.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them that you are happy with your decision in schools and it's not open for discussion. Then change the subject.

[Anonymous]

Are they offering to pay for either of those schools? If they are not they have absolutely no say in your decisions. Now if they are offering full pay for all your kids I might at least consider them at least for elem.

[Anonymous]

I agree with what the other posters have said. You need to nip this in the bud now.

[Anonymous]

My much younger siblings went to Waldorf schools, they loved it. But that’s beside the point—which as others have said, is that your decision is not up for debate. By looking for arguments, you’re telling them you’re up to being convinced when you’re not. So you say, repeatedly, this is not up for discussion. You change the subject. If they don’t stop you say: I’m not discussing this. I’m hanging up/leave the room etc.

[Anonymous]

Are they criticizing the school that your children are attending in front of your children?

[Anonymous]

You're not going to win the debate. You can tell them that Steinerism is creepy and weird, but they won't be happy to hear it!