Do you like Mother’s Day?

[Anonymous]

The mom culture thread got me thinking how I really don’t like Mother’s Day. I’m a mom and I do what I do. Kids are young adults now and relatively well-adjusted and on their way. It wasn’t easy for me, but I did my best, continue to love and support them, pray for them, sacrifice for them. I don’t hashtag or do the whole #wineoclock thing. I see moms who are definitely falling down on the job being praised to high heavens for being a “good mom” and it grates. I’m in a competitive profession, went to a competitive school, did a competitive sport, and wish that all that “ranking” would apply to motherhood too. Like rate moms, assign them a grade, take an exam, have playoffs or something. That would truly separate the wheat from the chaff.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Just a Hallmark holiday

[Anonymous]

I love it. But I have an awesome husband who just treats me really well and on mother’s day goes all out. It’s really nice.

[Anonymous]

Your post took a real turn at the end.

[Anonymous]

I don’t do any of the hash tagging or social media. I don’t have “mom friends” nor do I drink. But I like Mother’s Day. DH cooks me an omelette and 3 year old DS is super sweet and wants to give lots of presents (like a leaf or a scribbled picture). This year I’m going to suggest breakfast in bed.

[Anonymous]

I don’t post much on social media and don’t have any interest in “Mom culture” but I do like Mother’s Day. We usually have a picnic outside if it’s nice out. And my small children get excited to make me cards and stuff. I don’t feel like a martyr and this isn’t the only day of the year where my DH is an active coparent but I like doing something low key to celebrate.

[Anonymous]

Ma’am this is a Wendy’s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post took a real turn at the end.

Lol so true!

[Anonymous]

Curious in what ways some moms are falling down on the job? And why do you think they are praised in spite of it?

[Anonymous]

I loved it when the kids were in preschool and brought home adorable preschool gifts. Now that they're older and my DH is in charge of helping them with gifts and celebrating, it sucks. He buys me a bottle of wine and smelly bath shit that he knows I don't particularly care for (because why else would the stuff from like three years ago still be in the closet). Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved it when the kids were in preschool and brought home adorable preschool gifts. Now that they're older and my DH is in charge of helping them with gifts and celebrating, it sucks.

I loved those gifts and their excitement. Now the day just feels like a half-assed chore. Doesn’t help that it’s right after my birthday. (I don’t get as upset about it as it sounds; it’s just a little annoying.)

[Anonymous]

I have no interest in it and find it annoying to have to "celebrate" by calling my mom, my mother in law, my grandmother, etc. And yes I have kids. I just don't care about this holiday. Birthdays, sure; Hannukah, bring it on. Mother's Day and Valentine's Day -- blah. Definitely not interested in having anyone spend $5 on a crappy card, and I don't like flowers in the house, nor do I like breakfast in bed, brunch, or drinking in the morning. Also not into spas or pedicures. So basically the usual Mother's Day stuff is wasted on me and I would rather be treated decently all year round by my kids and husband! (Which I am; no complaints.)

That said, my mother is in the hospital with COVID and if I could make a difference for her by having the most extravagant Mother's Day ever, I would do so in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious in what ways some moms are falling down on the job? And why do you think they are praised in spite of it?

For example, my mom was neglectful and left me to basically raise myself and vulnerable to abuse. Others I know were so overwhelmed by their own stress and work and emotional problems and substance abuse that they left their children to the care of others or plain neglected. They are still blanket praised on Mother’s Day because they are moms—at church, on social media, on the outside things seem normal and praiseworthy but on the inside there’s a lot of dysfunction that outsiders don’t see. My mom still expects gifts and calls (not meals out because of pandemic).

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand your post? Why do you want Moms to be ranked? Who cares if other moms are praised, presumably they are loved, also? And what does this have to do with Mother’s Day? This is a weird one.

[Anonymous]

Yep I love it. I’m not all into #mom stuff either. It’s just a sweet day to celebrate me. Sleeping in, flowers, brunch, homemade cards, picnic, wine. It’s basically like my birthday. I am a good mom.

I did have trouble the first few years where I had newborns and Dh went out of town to celebrate his mom instead. I have to admit that it was really hard for me. Instead now he celebrates her on the weekend before or after. My kids are obviously too young to make presents or cards without his help.