Do you like Mother’s Day?

[Anonymous]

I resented Mother's day for years because I was in the trenches with young kids but my MIL and my mom both expected to have a fuss made about them. This particularly rankled because my mom has been acting like a child for the last 25 years. My mom actually mothered me well for about 25 years but is has now been the same amount of time that I have been assuming various care taking duties. My spouse is not good at getting the kids to do anything for me and it's just easier if I don't have any expectations that something nice will be done. I just use it as a sort of mental permission slip to do something nice for myself later like book a massage and not feel guilty about the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no interest in it and find it annoying to have to "celebrate" by calling my mom, my mother in law, my grandmother, etc. And yes I have kids. I just don't care about this holiday. Birthdays, sure; Hannukah, bring it on. Mother's Day and Valentine's Day -- blah. Definitely not interested in having anyone spend $5 on a crappy card, and I don't like flowers in the house, nor do I like breakfast in bed, brunch, or drinking in the morning. Also not into spas or pedicures. So basically the usual Mother's Day stuff is wasted on me and I would rather be treated decently all year round by my kids and husband! (Which I am; no complaints.)

That said, my mother is in the hospital with COVID and if I could make a difference for her by having the most extravagant Mother's Day ever, I would do so in a heartbeat.

I look at Mother's Day as celebrating my own mama, not my husband's or my niece or nephews'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I resented Mother's day for years because I was in the trenches with young kids but my MIL and my mom both expected to have a fuss made about them. This particularly rankled because my mom has been acting like a child for the last 25 years. My mom actually mothered me well for about 25 years but is has now been the same amount of time that I have been assuming various care taking duties. My spouse is not good at getting the kids to do anything for me and it's just easier if I don't have any expectations that something nice will be done. I just use it as a sort of mental permission slip to do something nice for myself later like book a massage and not feel guilty about the money.

Pretty much this. I have a good husband but he sucks at occasions. Always has. I’ll keep him but it’s hard on these days to see the husbands that go all out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep I love it. I’m not all into #mom stuff either. It’s just a sweet day to celebrate me. Sleeping in, flowers, brunch, homemade cards, picnic, wine. It’s basically like my birthday. I am a good mom.

I did have trouble the first few years where I had newborns and Dh went out of town to celebrate his mom instead. I have to admit that it was really hard for me. Instead now he celebrates her on the weekend before or after. My kids are obviously too young to make presents or cards without his help.

Seems odd your husband and MIL wouldn’t think about your feelings as a brand new mom and want to celebrate you as well.

[Anonymous]

I usually have to share the day with local MIL... not this year!!! I am looking forward to mimosas in bed and DH watching the kids for awhile so I can relax. Because of the lockdown, there’s no pressure to get everyone ready to go anywhere. It will be fantastic!
My own my is horrid, but we moved away from her a few years ago. I sent a gift and that was that.

[Anonymous]

My Mother’s Day has always been my husband taking the kids somewhere and letting me spend the day alone, doing whatever I want. Best gift I could have! I’m hoping it happens this year because I need some alone time now more than ever!

[Anonymous]

It's kind of a "nothing " holiday to me. Ds and DH are really great year round making me feel supported and appreciated. We usually try to do something with our own moms if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep I love it. I’m not all into #mom stuff either. It’s just a sweet day to celebrate me. Sleeping in, flowers, brunch, homemade cards, picnic, wine. It’s basically like my birthday. I am a good mom.

I did have trouble the first few years where I had newborns and Dh went out of town to celebrate his mom instead. I have to admit that it was really hard for me. Instead now he celebrates her on the weekend before or after. My kids are obviously too young to make presents or cards without his help.

Seems odd your husband and MIL wouldn’t think about your feelings as a brand new mom and want to celebrate you as well.

I mean that’s what I thought but dcum told me that Dh wasn’t my kid and that Mother’s Day is about your mother. That someday my kids would celebrate me and Dh should always be with his mom instead of with me on Mother’s Day.

[Anonymous]

No. I'm a mother and I don't care if my family does anything for me. I also hate being forced to doing things for my mother, my MIL and my grandmothers when they were alive and then feeling bad when I didn't send a card and flowers on time. I have enough crap on my plate.

[Anonymous]

I usually want an entire day of fun with my kids. But this year? I want an entire day of peace. Dh is taking the kids on a 5 hour bike ride (they’re in a bike trailer). They’ll have breakfast on the way and lunch in the middle. I can’t wait. I just need a break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually want an entire day of fun with my kids. But this year? I want an entire day of peace. Dh is taking the kids on a 5 hour bike ride (they’re in a bike trailer). They’ll have breakfast on the way and lunch in the middle. I can’t wait. I just need a break

+1 I want to be alone on Mother's Day. No fighting, no meses, no-whining, no crying.

[Anonymous]

I like getting little homemade, misspelled notes from my kids that say "I luv yoo." Sometimes the kids will pick "flowers" from the yard (like dandelions, lol). I like to spend time with them doing something we love, like snuggling up and reading together. It's sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like getting little homemade, misspelled notes from my kids that say "I luv yoo." Sometimes the kids will pick "flowers" from the yard (like dandelions, lol). I like to spend time with them doing something we love, like snuggling up and reading together. It's sweet.

I like this too. I hope DH makes cards with them this year. They usually do it at school. Would it be terrible to say something to him?

[Anonymous]

I am sorry OP that your own Mother was neglectful and you harbor resentment towards her. I am a divorced Mom so Mother’s Day is just me and the kids. I love it! We have a tradition that kids make me a homemade card and we go for a hike and picnic. Then my girlfriends and I have our own celebration the following Saturday at a spa...where the ones that are married typically discuss the epic fail of Mother’s Day by their DHs’ or how DH killed it and we just have fun. Will miss the Spa this year but looking forward to the day anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like getting little homemade, misspelled notes from my kids that say "I luv yoo." Sometimes the kids will pick "flowers" from the yard (like dandelions, lol). I like to spend time with them doing something we love, like snuggling up and reading together. It's sweet.

I like this too. I hope DH makes cards with them this year. They usually do it at school. Would it be terrible to say something to him?

Nope. In fact, definitely say something in front of the kids.