Rank my anger - is it justified?

[Anonymous]

We have been practicing serious social distancing. No trip anywhere. Walks around the block but that is it. Husband goes shopping every other week with a mask (had it from wood working) and no one else goes out. Come home and clothes in the washer right away. Serious hand washing. Other than two prenatal appointments, I have not left the house in 47 days. Neither have the two girls (5 and 20 months). Mother in law lives with us and has Parkinson’s and other health concerns. We are being very cautious.

Yesterday husband took kids for a bike around the neighborhood. Ran into friends at their house. They ended up playing together (with another family who was also there). Kids did not stay socially distant. 20 month old touched a bunch of scooters and bikes from the other kids. Kids were huddled and playing fort and other close contact games.

I am pissed. I have been on lock down to protect everyone and be super cautious and he “helped me” get some work done by taking the girls and did it so irresponsibly. His arguments were that 1. It was hard to keep them apart and 2. Once they started playing what was he to do?

I feel like the thing to do was to say - let’s stay on our bikes and keep moving. Clearly the other family is more comfortable with contact in that they had 2 different groups of kids all together.

Anyway I am seeing red pissed - even 24 hours later - and am trying to figure out how reasonable or crazy I am being.

Thanks for weighing in.

[Anonymous]

I’d be pissed, regardless of what the actual risks/exposure were.

Your husband just didn’t want to be the bad guy to your kids or in front of friends. Guess what? Social distancing is hard and parenting is hard because someone has to be the bad guy all of the time. Your husband is fine with you being the bad guy but didn’t step up when it was his turn.

[Anonymous]

I’d be pissed, but the risk is probably very low.

[Anonymous]

I'd be angry, but not because I thought we were all going to get COVID-19. Your husband made a unilateral decision on a matter of importance. You say that you were on lockdown -- did your husband agree with the level of precautions you were taking? Did you two discuss it and agree on it, or did you unilaterally decide? Because it sounds a little like he thought all the precautions were not necessary, and maybe you guys weren't really on the same page.

I'd talk to him, but less about venting anger and more about the importance of the two of you being in agreement about what precautions to take.

[Anonymous]

Pissed but you move on

[Anonymous]

OP, the stress is making all of us crazy. You're still seeing red? That's not because of your DH. It's because of the pandemic, the lockdown.

Wear your mask and go to the grocery store. This weekend, today. Get out of the house. Run an essential errand. See what the world looks like right now.

[Anonymous]

We’ve been isolated but again - op, you’re perhaps in a different situation given that you have a high risk person in your home - most people here need to better understand what it is that we are doing. We are not going to eradicate the virus. If that was the plan we would be on lockdown for the entire time until there is a vaccine which may be two years. We are trying not to all get it at once and overwhelm our hospitals. It is inevitable that a large chunk of us will get it. In some areas the hospitals are entirely underwhelmed. Some are even closed. Please, please try to understand rbis posters. It is not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been isolated but again - op, you’re perhaps in a different situation given that you have a high risk person in your home - most people here need to better understand what it is that we are doing. We are not going to eradicate the virus. If that was the plan we would be on lockdown for the entire time until there is a vaccine which may be two years. We are trying not to all get it at once and overwhelm our hospitals. It is inevitable that a large chunk of us will get it. In some areas the hospitals are entirely underwhelmed. Some are even closed. Please, please try to understand rbis posters. It is not hard.

That actually is the goal. Herd immunity is not the goal.

If we achieve herd immunity, it will divide the world between the areas where the virus is eradicated, Asia, and areas where it is endemic, the West. It will destroy global travel. And the death toll over time will be in the hundreds of millions or more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been isolated but again - op, you’re perhaps in a different situation given that you have a high risk person in your home - most people here need to better understand what it is that we are doing. We are not going to eradicate the virus. If that was the plan we would be on lockdown for the entire time until there is a vaccine which may be two years. We are trying not to all get it at once and overwhelm our hospitals. It is inevitable that a large chunk of us will get it. In some areas the hospitals are entirely underwhelmed. Some are even closed. Please, please try to understand rbis posters. It is not hard.

That actually is the goal. Herd immunity is not the goal.

If we achieve herd immunity, it will divide the world between the areas where the virus is eradicated, Asia, and areas where it is endemic, the West. It will destroy global travel. And the death toll over time will be in the hundreds of millions or more.

With a vaccine. I have never heard it said that we will eradicate the virus by social distancing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been isolated but again - op, you’re perhaps in a different situation given that you have a high risk person in your home - most people here need to better understand what it is that we are doing. We are not going to eradicate the virus. If that was the plan we would be on lockdown for the entire time until there is a vaccine which may be two years. We are trying not to all get it at once and overwhelm our hospitals. It is inevitable that a large chunk of us will get it. In some areas the hospitals are entirely underwhelmed. Some are even closed. Please, please try to understand rbis posters. It is not hard.

That actually is the goal. Herd immunity is not the goal.

If we achieve herd immunity, it will divide the world between the areas where the virus is eradicated, Asia, and areas where it is endemic, the West. It will destroy global travel. And the death toll over time will be in the hundreds of millions or more.

Then it will not be possible to travel until there are vaccine programs in place. That’s just the reality.

[Anonymous]

I'd be super pissed. The risk is low only if the other families have been practicing social distancing, which from their behavior, doesn't sound likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been isolated but again - op, you’re perhaps in a different situation given that you have a high risk person in your home - most people here need to better understand what it is that we are doing. We are not going to eradicate the virus. If that was the plan we would be on lockdown for the entire time until there is a vaccine which may be two years. We are trying not to all get it at once and overwhelm our hospitals. It is inevitable that a large chunk of us will get it. In some areas the hospitals are entirely underwhelmed. Some are even closed. Please, please try to understand rbis posters. It is not hard.

That actually is the goal. Herd immunity is not the goal.

If we achieve herd immunity, it will divide the world between the areas where the virus is eradicated, Asia, and areas where it is endemic, the West. It will destroy global travel. And the death toll over time will be in the hundreds of millions or more.

With a vaccine. I have never heard it said that we will eradicate the virus by social distancing.

You are confusing social distancing with sheltering in place.

[Anonymous]

Of course the goal is some level of herd immunity -- assuming contracting the virus makes you immune. Social distancing is meant to slow the spread so our hospitals aren't overwhelmed.

That said, OP is being a bit over the top. Assuming your neighbors have been doing some level of social distancing and are not sick, the risk is low. Throw the kids in a long bath and tell your husband to shower and make up the guest bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been isolated but again - op, you’re perhaps in a different situation given that you have a high risk person in your home - most people here need to better understand what it is that we are doing. We are not going to eradicate the virus. If that was the plan we would be on lockdown for the entire time until there is a vaccine which may be two years. We are trying not to all get it at once and overwhelm our hospitals. It is inevitable that a large chunk of us will get it. In some areas the hospitals are entirely underwhelmed. Some are even closed. Please, please try to understand rbis posters. It is not hard.

Who knows what will happen with this virus. It may bloom and then die off like regular coronaviruses do, or it may stick around. We just don't know. I'm hoping it dies off and fades away like the seasonal flu or colds do.

[Anonymous]

I'd feel the same way you do, OP. You wave and keep going.