Approaches to alcohol

[Anonymous]

I’m at the grocery store, picking up a bottle of wine (among other things). There is a mom and a girl, probably 12 or 13, about ten feet from us. Mom is picking out some wine and girl says ooh that looks kind of good to which mom says “if you EVER drink before you’re 21 I will come down on you like a f u ck ing axe.” In the middle of the store! Obviously I don’t know these people but it seemed a bit...aggressive. Do you take this approach?

[Anonymous]

My kid goes to uni in the UK. I let her drink while at home here in the States. She doesn't seem that into it so it's not much of an issue.

[Anonymous]

Myob

[Anonymous]

I don’t drink. I made it very clear to my kid that she was not to break the law by drinking underage. We have alcoholism in the family tree. She is two years out of college and still doesn’t drink. I think you have to be very clear about risks and rules and hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Zero tolerance til 21, but I wouldn't talk to my kid like that.

We have a lot of alcoholism in the family, and most studies today show that early exposure to alcohol is a risk factor for developing alcoholism. So I'm trying to delay that exposure.

I say this as someone who grew up drinking wine with my parents from an early age (7 maybe?). My brother is an alcoholic.

[Anonymous]

MYOB

Not my parenting style, how strange she would feel that strongly but she buys alcohol with her daughter. Issues.

[Anonymous]

My parents were raised to believe that alcohol was poison and of the devil and that is pretty much the same thing they said to us. It was just not an option and treated like heroin or crystal meth! We weren't raised normal - this is only one thing!

Anyways once we (6 kids) were all adults, one of us brought a bottle of champagne one day to their house for a celebratory event. My parents by the way have over the years moved away from how they were raised but we had still never spoken about alcohol. We wanted to see how they would react.

They ended up giggling and disclosed how they had tried wine after they got married but could never of course tell us. They felt so bad*ass having a few sips of champagne! It was great.

Anyways now they won't buy alcohol but they drink anything provided to them! So we keep them supplied in secret. We take turns depositing bottles in their pantry!!

None of us every really got into drinking much at all. We all drink on occasion but none of us ever went overboard or got drunk drunk or got too into alcohol.

[Anonymous]

My brother died of alcoholism. You do what you need to do.
Ten percent of drinkers become alcoholics.

[Anonymous]

I'm French.

Parents introduce alcohol at home, in small and supervised quantities, so that kids are not surprised or excited by the act of drinking. Most parents insist on moderation, and, in our personal case, explain that our kids might have inherited their parents' low tolerance for alcohol.

It turns out our kids hate the taste of alcohol. We were like this at their age, and now DH and I consume rarely, and in very small quantities (a few glasses a year). So I'm really not worried.

[Anonymous]

I probably would’ve said something sarcastic and inappropriate to my dd as well. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad parent, it might be an inside joke. What I don’t do is judge other parents in the grocery after witnessing one interaction, unless it’s a very black and white issue (physical abuse, verbal abuse with an obvious reaction from the victim).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm French.

Parents introduce alcohol at home, in small and supervised quantities, so that kids are not surprised or excited by the act of drinking. Most parents insist on moderation, and, in our personal case, explain that our kids might have inherited their parents' low tolerance for alcohol.

It turns out our kids hate the taste of alcohol. We were like this at their age, and now DH and I consume rarely, and in very small quantities (a few glasses a year). So I'm really not worried.

It’s still against the law in France until the kid is 18.

[Anonymous]

No alcohol until 21 in our house. But my husband and I don't drink much at all, so that is an easier rule for us to model and enforce.

[Anonymous]

I know my kids will drink senior year of HS and through college. I don't think it's a big deal.

[Anonymous]

We're pretty against it but definitely don't threaten. We talk about the law and also alcohol's affect on the brain and body. We take it as a given that they'll drink in college and probably will try it behind our backs in high school. The biggest thing I'm worried about is drunk driving.

DH and I drink rarely now. We have quite a bit of alcohol in the house for when we entertain. So, it's always there but we don't consume it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm French.

Parents introduce alcohol at home, in small and supervised quantities, so that kids are not surprised or excited by the act of drinking. Most parents insist on moderation, and, in our personal case, explain that our kids might have inherited their parents' low tolerance for alcohol.

It turns out our kids hate the taste of alcohol. We were like this at their age, and now DH and I consume rarely, and in very small quantities (a few glasses a year). So I'm really not worried.

I'm not French, but this is our approach as well.

DH and I both grew up with an alcoholic parent, so we have lived it and know very well the consequences of alcoholism. We're under no illusion this approach will inoculate our kids from it, but we hope it will help them develop a "no big deal" attitude towards drinking.