Boyfriend accepted friend request from woman he cheated on me with...
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Anonymous
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Two years ago I found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with another woman. She messaged me and told me that they had been “dating” for months behind my back. Boyfriend and I had been together for about 1.5 years at this point. Long story short, I ended up forgiving him and we moved forward with our relationship. Even though I forgave him, it’s still something I think about and feel sad about. It’s now been exactly 2 years from when I found out.
Tonight, I saw that he had become friends with her on social media. I immediately confronted him, and he said that she sent him a request, and he accepted. He said “it’s been so long since it happened, why does it matter if we become friends on social media”. I told him it’s completely unacceptable, and the fact that he thinks it’s okay to have contact with her blows my mind. I told him it’s over between us and asked him to leave. I feel in my heart that I did the right thing, but just want to see how others would have handled this. Thanks.... |
Anonymous
| As a man, I think you overreacted. It was 2 years ago. Either you trust him or you don't. If you do, he can be friends with her. If you don't, then you should have left him before the friending thing anyway. |
Anonymous
| You did not overreact. It was a hurtful and dumb thing for him to do. And you shouldn't trust him. He's handing you the red flag. Take it & run. |
Anonymous
Don't listen to this pig. You threw him out and you did the right thing. |
Anonymous
What? No. Nobody should be friends with the person they cheated on their partner with while they are still in that relationship. |
Anonymous
| Facebook is the devil... Seen more relationships/marriages end due to Facebook. Old flames pop up and the next thing you know.... |
Anonymous
| OP here: it’s not like she was a one-night stand. He had a long relationship with this woman, and it took a LONG time for us to repair our relationship when I found out. I feel like him accepting her request is allowing her back into our lives. Its not like he decided to leave her because he felt bad...they got into an argument and she told me about their relationship. Otherwise, I would have never known.... |
Anonymous
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I get it. Everything is so stressful right now and he took this opportunity to see what she was up to? Of course he was curious and accepted her friend, otherwise he wouldn’t be defensive. And really that just unkind and self centered behavior.
Look, you guys probably were not going to stay together bc of unresolved issues. This couldn’t have been the only thing. For the future, rather that being triggered and going off and screaming at him ( or whomever) try to be more calm, walk away, collect your thoughts so you can be strategic and controlled. Then do a surgical strike and really hit him hard. If you’re bored or lonely during lock down you can always take him back and then dump him afterwards. He sounds like a jerk. |
Anonymous
They both sound very immature and maybe they’re made for each other, because they are impulsive. Seriously, forget this guy, he did you a favor to show you who he really is. |
Anonymous
| You did the right thing. He is untrustworthy and clearly has terrible judgement when it comes to appropriate boundaries with loose women. I understand you are hurting right now, but you are LUCKY you figure this out now. You don’t want to be like one of the many women who discover their husbands cheating after having children with them, intertwining finances, and making career compromises. Just, no. Boy, bye. |
Anonymous
| I think that was too much cheating too early in a relationship to forgive in the first place, but at this point, yes, you need to leave him. |
Anonymous
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You did good. He’s been thinking about her all along.
And trust me when I say with you ending it, he’s going to go get a taste of that old flame. |
Anonymous
| You shouldn’t have taken him back in the first place so I’m not sure what you expected. Going through life forever controlling his friends list? Cmon. |
Anonymous
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OP-it's good that this happened now, before you were married and had kids with this guy!
You did good. You dodged a bullet with this fool. I would not look back at him. |
Anonymous
| He clearly doesn’t respect you or your feelings. Should have left him the first time but good for you for moving on! |