Words your kids aren't allowed to use

[Anonymous]

I'm pregnant with my first child and I've been giving a lot of thought to what kind of parent I'll be. (I'm aware that a lot of my plans might go out the window once there's an actual baby in my house, but planning in my head is pretty much unavoidable.) When I was growing up, my mom forbade a lot of language that other people thought of as perfectly acceptable. My sisters and I weren't allowed to say the following: butt, fart, booger, poot, ninnie (the neighbor girls called breasts ninnnies and my mom about had a fit when she heard that word come out of our mouths) snot, stinky, shut up, and stupid. (These are the ones I can think of. I think there were more.) My mom hated "butt" and "fart" the most. We had to say "rear end" or "pass gas," though she'd prefer we didn't discuss this stuff at all. Of course we weren't allowed to cuss, and my parents didn't cuss in front of us, but to be honest, I think my mom thought "fart" was infinitely more vulgar than "f@$k." It was kind of hilarious because my dad was/is a giant hippie and grew up poor on a farm in the deep south, and he didn't give a rip about saying "fart" or about correct table manners (something else my mom was obsessed with), et cetera.

Thought I think it's kind of silly, I seem to have inherited my mom's dislike of butt, fart, etc. I just don't think they're polite, and while I do use these words in certain contexts, I wouldn't in most circumstances and I would be embarrassed if my child did. Kids don't tend to understand the subtleties of code switching like adults do, so I'd rather just forbid the words outright.

Anyway, I'm curious about whether people agree with me on "butt" and the like. And I'm curious which words you forbid your kids to use, if any? I'm most interested in hearing about words that aren't blatantly taboo. I assume most people don't want their kids dropping cuss words.

[Anonymous]

Proletariat

[Anonymous]

Well I have a 4 year old and my rule is we don't say it to other people and we don't say it at the dinner table. Kids can totally code switch. They are more polite in public even at a super young age. "The poop book" got my son to FINALLY let us read him books at like 1.5. He especially likes when we add sound as we read it.

DH and I are currently disagreeing about "sucks". He says it's bad and they should say stinks.

I'm sure parents of teenagers have a totally different view and there's worse language.

[Anonymous]

Unless it’s a slur, I don’t care. Read the room and be mindful of where you are. That’s all.

[Anonymous]

My kids are older, tweens and teens. There are certain words I consider hate speech, like n****r or r******d or c**t, that my kids know, at this point, that they should never say.

There are other words that they can't say to people, or in front of certain people, or in certain circumstances. You can't call your brother stupid, or say F U in front of Grandma, or proudly announce to the congregation that you farted at church. But I assume my kids are code switching. As long as they know when not to say them, I'm fine.

[Anonymous]

There is a time and place for all language. What is appropriate at home or with friends isn't necessarily appropriate at school or scouts.

In our house, excessive potty words belong in the bathroom. If my 5 year old wants to serenade himself with "Poop! The musical", he's welcome to do so, but he has to go to the bathroom to sing.

We have multiple dogs though, so talking about burping/farting/pooping/vomit is kind of standard to some degree. Not sure how else my kids should say "Fido pooped on the patio, Mom--can you please clean it up?"

[Anonymous]

I’ve called my kids poot butts, so I am probably not your target audience.

[Anonymous]

Kids are 7 and 4. We don’t allow sucks, idiot, dummy or dumb, or similar name-calling words. My 7 yo has also started saying “What the...?” as in WTH — that’s not allowed. I also don’t like “oh my god” and encourage them to say “oh my gosh” or “oh my goodness” instead. I don’t love the word “booty” but the both seem to think it’s hilarious.

Words that are ok in my house: fart, poop and pee (but not silly talk), correct names for private parts, butt, darn.

[Anonymous]

As long as it's not racist/sexist/homophobic, go for it. My kid loves to ask if we are having poop or diarrhea for dinner, and I just roll my eyes and ignore it. He thinks he's hilarious.

He doesn't do it in front of other people, at school, etc, so whatever makes him laugh at home is fine.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t confess these to friends because it makes me sound uptight. But I am uptight.
No “butt”, bottom instead.
No “fart”
No “stupid”. For a little kid I make them say “silly” instead. If they’re complaining about “a stupid rule” or something like that.
“Oh my goodness” instead of “oh my god”, partly because it sounds like that scene in Annie when the one orphan says it and it makes me laugh a tiny bit every time.

I’m a hypocrite because we talk about poo and pee endlessly. Like PP, I blame the dog for that lapse.

[Anonymous]

Hate. My kids were never allowed to use the word hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hate. My kids were never allowed to use the word hate.

I gave up on that one and now I’m fine with it as long as they aren’t saying they hate each other, us, other people, etc.

[Anonymous]

Eh. I wouldn't let them use the n-word.

Here's the thing. If the only way my kid is comfortable telling me someone abused them is to say "_______ touched in my butt" then say the damn word. We just have a rule that there's no bathroom talk at the table.

"If you want to talk about farting go to the bathroom." But if we hear a weird sound and one kid says "Was that thunder?" and another says "No, that was my butt farting" and then we all laugh and move on, that's fine.

I am big on kids learning to "know your audience." I flat out told them kids think bathroom humor is funny, but their dad and i don't. So they know to only share certain jokes with their friends. Which means that when I went over to my son's room and asked him and his friend what they were talking about and they said "funny farts" I just said, "As you were" and walked away.

[Anonymous]

I don’t let my kids name call. I like them to use expressive language, and I’m not big into censoring. But we draw the line with hurtful language, like the n or r words, and name calling.

[Anonymous]

Where is your mom from out of curiousity?

My mom did not want us to say: Lie (we could not say that's a lie or you are lying - instead we had to say "you're telling a story"); butt (bottom or fanny or arse instead); fart; doo doo; stupid; nasty; stink; trashy to describe a person; any racial epithet or slur; oh my god or gosh (had to say oh my goodness or gah). From the rural south.