My elderly mom is lonely and wants to meet up

[Anonymous]

My 78 year old mom lives alone in a condo (not an old person community, just a regular condo building where she doesn't have contact or know any of her neighbors). She has been weathering the stay-at-home order pretty well until now and she does have one woman who is also quarantining who she meets up with several times per week to walk outside. It's been many weeks since I've seen my mom and I do miss her. I talk to her every day. She asked me yesterday if there was any possible way that we could get together at some point this weekend. She's just flat out lonely at this point. While I would love to see her I just can't see how it's going to work.

My teenager still goes back and forth to his dads house and I still have some required (minimal) outside contacts through work. Her initial suggestion was that she travel to me (she's in MD, I'm in VA) and just sit out on the deck and spend some time. But the weather doesn't look like it's going to be conducive to be outside. I don't want her in my house, as I am a clean person but there's no way to guarantee my house is germ-free. I could go to her but am super concerned about bringing any germs into her space. I had considered wearing two layers, stripping one off and leaving it outside her door, wearing gloves and a mask, being liberal with the lysol, etc but I'm not sure that would be enough. I would just never forgive myself if she got sick because of me.

Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I like the idea of her driving to you and sitting out on the deck 6 feet apart. Stay outdoors the entire time unless she needs to go to the bathroom. Then she goes home

[Anonymous]

I would.

[Anonymous]

Go to her. She shouldn't have to come to you. Watch the weather. Sit on the deck, or go for a walk 6 feet apart. Don't go in her house. If you have to pee go into the woods, or pee in a cup or something... maybe plan and wear suit pants.

Op, there is no reason you can't make this happen.

[Anonymous]

sweat pants

[Anonymous]

Just go for a walk but have her lag 6 to 8 feet behind or beside. Dress for the weather. I do this bi weekly with my parents so i can keep them company but also so I can bring them prescriptions, food, cleaning stuff etc. I have done these walks in 28 degree weather and 52 degree weather over the past 5 weeks. You can find a way to make it work but you don't want to at this point. Come on over the last 5 weeks you havent thought of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to her. She shouldn't have to come to you. Watch the weather. Sit on the deck, or go for a walk 6 feet apart. Don't go in her house. If you have to pee go into the woods, or pee in a cup or something... maybe plan and wear suit pants.

Op, there is no reason you can't make this happen.

This wear a mask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to her. She shouldn't have to come to you. Watch the weather. Sit on the deck, or go for a walk 6 feet apart. Don't go in her house. If you have to pee go into the woods, or pee in a cup or something... maybe plan and wear suit pants.

Op, there is no reason you can't make this happen.

This wear a mask

+1 If she is meeting up with a friend and walking around there is no reason why she can't do the same with you at her condo.

Also, is there a community room or meeting room at the condo? Could she reserve it? You could bring lunch. You can sit apart but still be together and talk.

We've asked my parents to use their masks specifically in the elevators and to spray Lysol into the elevator before entering it. Other than that they are walking the halls or walking outdoors like they normally do. But I'm like you and we have kids so I don't want to contaminate them. So I see them from a distance outside while we're wearing masks. Another condo resident did the meeting room thing with her granddaughter, which is where I got the idea. It was super cute to see through the window! They were having a blast!

[Anonymous]

Would totally go for a walk outdoors, 6-10 feet apart.

[Anonymous]

It is not complicated

Find a way to be outside six feet apart. That is what I do.

[Anonymous]

You are going to have to wait for the weather to be good enough to be outside. Put a chair out for her before she gets there and make sure it is disinfected.

[Anonymous]

I really think you’re trying to come up with reasons not to make this happen.

[Anonymous]

I went and visited someone, wearing a mask and sanitizing my hands after getting out of the car. I brought a freshly laundered and folded blanket, and I unfolded it with the inside resting over a porch chair, where I sat. We were about 8 feet apart. I didn't touch any doorknobs or anything. It was nice.

[Anonymous]

wait till the weather is better and then meet her outside or on your deck. wear a mask and stay ten feet apart. do not consumer food. Or just dont see her - that is fine too and safer. my suggestions are only if you feel you must see her. its better if you dont.

[Anonymous]

I did this for my mother who lives alone. We went for a walk, and then she sat on her porch while I sat on a lawn chair about 10 feet away. I didn’t go in her house. Mental well-being is important as well.