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38 weeks & Husband scheduled to travel
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Anonymous
| He'll be gone 36 -48 hours; the flight is 1.5 hours so he may be able to get back quickly if I go into labor. But, just thinking about him being away makes me stressed and anxious. Not good, especially at this stage when I'm not sleeping well and probably hyper-sensitive. This is our 2nd child. Has anyone's husband/partner been away for the delivery? I know I wouldn't be the first to give birth without husband/baby's father present (women whose husbands are in the military immediately come to mind). I think I'll be heartbroken if he misses the birth -- How often do you welcome your own child into the world? |
Anonymous
| Mine was - He caught the first flight back, but got to the delivery room minutes after #2 arrived. He wasn't very much help the first time around anyhow, but I would have preferred him present! |
Anonymous
| DH wanted to travel when I was 39 weeks. I had to lay down the law (in the nicest possible way). Problem was his boss - very out-of-touch with reality! Hope your husband is able to reschedule or perhaps video teleconference in. |
Anonymous
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WE almost had the same thing at 37 weeks with my 2nd. I went into labor the night before he was scheduled to leave, so luckily he made it (although he was at work, so I drove myself to the hospital...)
Did your first come early? If so, I would be apprehensive. My first came at 38 weeks, so I wasn't surprised that #2 came at 37. Was your labor long? If you aren't expecting the baby to pop out in 3 hours, he'll likely have time to get home. Just don't be shy about calling him as soon as you *think* you might be in labor. Hang in there! Good luck! |
Anonymous
| OP here - Thank you for your responses. I'm still very stressed about this, and did not sleep well thinking about the possibility of delivering while my husband is away. I know there is very little one can control about when and how the baby arrives. But, I never considered the possibility my husband, my rock, would not be there with me. There is no one else I would want in the delivery room. I told him I wasn't comfortable with this trip. He is, however, going ahead with it unless I go into labor earlier. Ironically, he does not travel very much. I worry I'm going to send myself into early labor due to angst. Although I'm told every pregancy and delivery is different, our first child was delivered within 5 hours of my water breaking, at just over 39 weeks. I need to just breathe and calm down and remember worse things could happen, right? |
Anonymous
| Try not to worry. Do you have a family member or a friend that can be with you, just in case? And even if you did go into labor, most labors last several hours, so it is possible he could make it back in time. Have him plan ahead as far as what he will need to do to get an earlier flight, check how often the flights back are, etc. The more prepared he is to leave, the less time he will waste trying to figure it out at the last minute. |
Anonymous
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Tell him NO.
Why on earth would he go, knowing you're about to deliver? You need a sit down with him, and he needs one with his boss. Reality check is required. My brother missed his daughter's birth cuz he was stupid enough to drive 3 hours away on business... when the OB said she 'might have 5 more days' to go... served him right...and my sister in law as well, as she did not lay down the law. |
Anonymous
| This question comes up a lot and I have to say that I do not understand what business trip could possibly be so important to miss the birth of your own child. 38 weeks is full term. Both of my kids arrived a couple days after visits to the OB which showed me being no where near going into labor (i.e., 0 cm dialated, etc) -- the first one at 38 weeks. I have a friend whose husband went to NY on travel when she was 37 weeks along with her first baby. They didn't think it was a big deal since he could take the shuttle home basically every hour (during the day). Well, of course she went into labor. She called DH (during the day) who immediately caught a cab, headed for the airport, flew back and went straight to the hospital. Her husband walked in the room literally as the baby was being born. I have also worked with several guys who have missed the birth of their own children since they were on business travel. DH's most important job right now is to be there for you and be your coach, advocate, and guy Friday during labor. |
Anonymous
| I was expected to go past 40 weeks for my first last month and I delivered at 38.2. Even the OB was surprised! Your husband shouldn't go if he can help it. |
Anonymous
| I agree with many of these posters--your husband is either really dumb or the biggest jerk around. There is no work that is so important that he can't explain the situation and I can't imagine anyone pushing him--you need to tell him this is not negotiable and that your health is more important. |
Anonymous
What gives you the right to judge the OP's husband when you don't know all the facts? |
Anonymous
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Now, now--no reason to get nasty. It's very likely her husband is neither a jerk nor dumb; sometimes people have jobs where these things come up and it is hard to say no. I agree he should be there, but OP never said her DH was dying to go on this trip or anything.
OP, bc second babies are often early, I would be concerned about DH being gone, too. |
Anonymous
| Whats the big deal if he misses his childs birth ??? i don't think he is a jerk ...btw missing his childs birth for a business trip does not make him a bad husband or father. |
Anonymous
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Agree with PP. Let's not judge! Remember, this is a man. We all love our husbands, but it is a little different when you have carried the baby for 38 weeks vs. being around for the 38 weeks. Men are somewhat clueless and don't seem to have the same sense of the impending event! It could be that his boss is just a jerk (like my husband's boss) and that the boss is a control freak. Hopefully, her husband can cancel the trip or get creative, but otherwise, please make sure to get a friend to be your standby! And for heaven's sake, please call that person if you have the slightest hint of needing help! We women try to be superheroes sometimes instead of asking for the help we need!
I will be thinking about you and hoping that you have an easy time while your husband is away! |
Anonymous
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We only know what the OP tells us.
What if this family has put all the pressure of earning the family's entire income on the one husband? What if professionally this is really important, or not something in his control? We don't know remotely enough to call him a jerk. It would suck to miss the birth, but it isn't the most important thing in the world. My husband went away at that point in my pregnancy. It was an important trip. End of story. |