Is this a red flag?
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Anonymous
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I've been dating a guy for about three months. All is well.....for the most part.
The one weird thing is that a couple times he's mentioned the 'humans aren't meant to be monogamous' thing. I think he could tell it threw me off because he followed with "but *I* have no problem being committed". I have no issue with non-monogamy, but it's not for me We haven't really had any exclusivity talks- the one time I brought it up he responded with something like "I'm investing my time in you" which kinda struck me as someone trying to get out of actually committing. The whole thing just seems weird. Why mention you don't think people are monogamous unless you don't want to be monogamous? I sort of feel like I'm being groomed or set up to eventually hear that he wants to practice non-monogamy. My gut's telling me that something's off and I should bail or at least distance myself. |
Anonymous
| Go with your gut.....always. I think he’s anti-commitment and if that’s what you want with him, you’ll end up being hurt. I’d end it and dodge that bullet. |
Anonymous
| I’d bail. |
Anonymous
| I'd say you are being set up for the reveal that he has not been practicing monogamy at all, ever. |
Anonymous
| He has different values than you, which surround a deal breaking issue. Move on. |
Anonymous
| I think he told you what he really believes and that is that monogamy isn’t natural for him. You get to decide if you’re ok with that in a relationship. |
Anonymous
OP here. That’s what I’m thinking. I just don’t get why he wouldn’t tell me outright. |
Anonymous
| He's not going to be monogamous. You need to decide whether or not you are ok with that. |
Anonymous
Have you slept with him? He probably knows that you want a relationship and if he tells you outright, you’ll bail. He wants you to stick around for sex, so he’s being evasive. I wouldn't be afraid to bet he’s on an online dating app now. |
Anonymous
OP here. Set up a fake account and yep, he’s on tinder. |
Anonymous
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It's a red flag if you want a monogamous relationship.
As for why the answer is 2 fold 1. He can claim he told you when you find out he's seeing other women. 2. He wants to sleep with you and thinks he can reel you in by throwing in the commitment line. Basically he's testing you to see what you'll put up with. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I set up a fake account on Tinder and he was on it. Clearly spends a lot of time on there because he matched with me within 5 minutes. Claims it was because he was bored, lol. |
Anonymous
| You dumped him, right? |
Anonymous
| Easy. Screw him over before he can screw you over. The next time he wants to go out or see you, tell him you’re out with another man and you’ll text him when you’re back. Don’t be played sister. Please. |
Anonymous
Sounds like my ex-husband. He's dating someone and she thinks they are exclusive and is waiting for a proposal. But he keeps matching with my friends on Tinder. |