How to ask nanny to make activities more enriching?

[Anonymous]

Our nanny is a former preschool and art teacher, but when she does things with our 5 year old DD, there's never a learning/enriching component. She's been with our family for three years and I WFM so I've noticed this for a while now, but never mentioned it because DD learns plenty in school and nanny is otherwise amazing. With sheltering in place, nanny's role needs to change from just "playmate" to part-time homeschooler and playmate. I know she would be okay with this, but how do I discuss this with her? How can I support her in shifting gears? I do not want to micromanage, nor have the time for it, but given she hasn't been proactive in enriching activities so far, I feel like she needs some guidance and/or structure. I'm considering having a sit-down talk with her where I let her know our priorities and ask her to come up with a schedule of activities.

[Anonymous]

What do you specifically mean by enriching activities? Maybe she’s singing and talking about the ABCs as they’re painting together. Maybe she’s having him count and add up the play fruits and vegetables while they’re playing store. Not all enriching activities need “proof” on paper.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is 5. At 5, they learn best through play. So the nanny should play with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny is a former preschool and art teacher, but when she does things with our 5 year old DD, there's never a learning/enriching component. She's been with our family for three years and I WFM so I've noticed this for a while now, but never mentioned it because DD learns plenty in school and nanny is otherwise amazing. With sheltering in place, nanny's role needs to change from just "playmate" to part-time homeschooler and playmate. I know she would be okay with this, but how do I discuss this with her? How can I support her in shifting gears? I do not want to micromanage, nor have the time for it, but given she hasn't been proactive in enriching activities so far, I feel like she needs some guidance and/or structure. I'm considering having a sit-down talk with her where I let her know our priorities and ask her to come up with a schedule of activities.

Have you already thought about specific “enriching” things that you’d like her to do? The easiest way is to be very clear about what you’d like and to provide any resources that she might need to do this. The shifting gears can easily be connected with the sheltering in place shift. Also think about whether this change in job responsibilities should warrant a corresponding change in pay. I think you could say just what you’ve said here: that now your daughter needs a part time home schooler as well as a part- time playmate, and you’d like to explore ways that such a transition could be comfortably put in place. Maybe your daughter will have some ideas about this as well.

[Anonymous]

Just sit down with her and “brainstorm” on ideas for her to do with your child. This is a perfect time for it. I’m sure your nanny will be receptive to changes now. It’s only been a few weeks and now we know this isn’t temporary so nanny needs to restructure your child’s day.

[Anonymous]

Order some workbooks and supplies.

[Anonymous]

Worksheets aren’t enriching.

I agree that concrete examples are best. “Enriching” can be in the eye of the beholder.

[Anonymous]

A raise and change of job description.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A raise and change of job description.

Stop. I bet the nanny would be happy to engage in art projects and other learning activities without a raise! It’s so much more enjoyable for us former teacher than the nine-millionth game of, “I’ll be Elsa and you be Ana”.

Just talk to your nanny honestly about how things have changed for the near future and you want your daughter to have more enrichment in lieu of school. Mention art projects, science experiments, sensory experiences, gardening, reading and writing, counting by multiples, etc. Ask your nanny how to better structure your child’s day to resemble school a bit more. Eight hours is a lot of time to fill. Projects for half and still lots of playtime.

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean, and I recently had a similar discussion with my 3yo’s nanny. I asked her to organize some art projects with items at home or on Amazon. Also asked her to come up with new pretend play scenarios to broaden DS’s vocabulary and knowledge. DS is like a vacuum cleaner, so thirsty for information and picks up new things so quickly. Previously I felt his morning preschool satisfied that thirst enough and he could have complete downtime with comforting and familiar activities in the afternoon with nanny. But now that there’s no preschool, I want to make sure he’s still learning.

What helped was sending her websites with the types of activities I wanted her to do with him. Also, since she would need to put in a little extra effort to plan things, I told her to come in an hour later everyday. It’s worked well so far (been 2 weeks).

[Anonymous]

You need to give her examples of what you want.

I’m a mom and I can’t tell if you mean things like butterfly kits or if you want your kid to practice writing letters and counting. First step is to decide what you want and communicate it clearly. Think about how much time it will take and be realistic about what you’re asking for and your child’s age. Most likely your nanny will need to buy some supplies, so a credit card is a good place to start the conversation (if the nanny doesn’t already have one.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean, and I recently had a similar discussion with my 3yo’s nanny. I asked her to organize some art projects with items at home or on Amazon. Also asked her to come up with new pretend play scenarios to broaden DS’s vocabulary and knowledge. DS is like a vacuum cleaner, so thirsty for information and picks up new things so quickly. Previously I felt his morning preschool satisfied that thirst enough and he could have complete downtime with comforting and familiar activities in the afternoon with nanny. But now that there’s no preschool, I want to make sure he’s still learning.

What helped was sending her websites with the types of activities I wanted her to do with him. Also, since she would need to put in a little extra effort to plan things, I told her to come in an hour later everyday. It’s worked well so far (been 2 weeks).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you mean, and I recently had a similar discussion with my 3yo’s nanny. I asked her to organize some art projects with items at home or on Amazon. Also asked her to come up with new pretend play scenarios to broaden DS’s vocabulary and knowledge. DS is like a vacuum cleaner, so thirsty for information and picks up new things so quickly. Previously I felt his morning preschool satisfied that thirst enough and he could have complete downtime with comforting and familiar activities in the afternoon with nanny. But now that there’s no preschool, I want to make sure he’s still learning.

What helped was sending her websites with the types of activities I wanted her to do with him. Also, since she would need to put in a little extra effort to plan things, I told her to come in an hour later everyday. It’s worked well so far (been 2 weeks).

What websites do you suggest? Thank you.

[Anonymous]

She is a former preschool teacher. She knows what your child needs at this time.

[Anonymous]

Personally, while I’m anti-screen under 2, I like some screen time starting around 2 or 3. My charges earn time on fun educational sites (abcmouse is a favorite with younger kids; khan academy and prodigy are preferred by older children), and they can use time after they meet social, intellectual, physical, creative and emotional goals. I always introduce sites that have many different choices for children, and within the site, they can use their time in any way they wish.

Here is a breakdown of daily goals with a toddler/preschooler. There may be some ideas here that your nanny could use, OP. I prefer to let children lead, so we have a whiteboard with a picture for each goal group, and once a child has checked off each one, they can use their earned screen time (they can also wipe their progress and start over after using the screen). I believe in choices for kids, so I offer toddlers and preschoolers 2 choices, kinder-2nd grade get 4 choices, and older children are responsible for picking their own and then explaining how they’ve earned screens.

Social goals for toddlers and preschoolers revolve around manners and thinking about others. They include calling a grandparent on FaceTime and talking for 5-10 minutes (staying silent the whole time does NOT count), calling a friend on FaceTime (showing art projects they made and also being a good listener), asking a sibling to play and not fighting, offering to help someone in the household do something, etc.

Intellectual goals at that age are met through play and fun. They play store and count items, pretend to make recipes and the child recalls which ingredients and the quantities, do science experiments, make and use sensory toys, match phonics to letters (working on letter recognition simultaneously), order numerals, do color-by-number and color-by letter pictures, etc.

Physical goals are divided into gross and fine motor skills. Using scissors or tweezers, threading anything, squeezing kinetic sand or play dough, and using a pencil, marker, crayon or paintbrush develop fine motor skills. Using an indoor trampoline, bouncing on the ball, doing jumping jacks, skipping, crabwalking, playing hide and seek, playing scavenger hunt, walk racing, walking backwards with a mirror, ballroom dancing, and using the over-the-door bar all work on gross motor skills like hand-eye coordination and balance while getting some energy out.

Creative goals are all-encompassing. To me, it doesn’t matter if a child is creative in abstract or concrete ways. Practicing a piece of music and fiddling with the keyboard to figure out a tune in their head are equally valid (though both are a stretch for most 2-4yo). Most of the things they make (including cooking with me!) involve creativity and another goal, so it’s simply a letter of helping them pick something simply for a creative outlet. We’ve made pinecone bird feeders, hummingbird feeders, fly traps, beetle traps, gnat traps, dream catchers, paper mache, suncatchers, window stencils, bracelets, necklaces, beads, and balloon animals. We’ve made peanut butter play dough, (edible) stained glass windows, spinach tarts, mini quiche, etc. They’ve put on plays, told oral stories, had a sing-a-long, sang karaoke, made their own songs, and played twenty questions (youngest needed a LOT of adult help with answering).

Emotional goals are the trickiest. With the current environment, older children are journaling or talking to me (no judgement or repercussions on what is said during that time period). With younger children, talking to me or drawing a freeform picture of what they’re feeling seems to work. They can always go use the (makeshift) punching bag or do jumping jacks/pushups. Inevitably, children feel the strain just the adults, and they have to have outlets. I am separating emotional goals from social right now, because their emotional goals need to be about self-care; prior to covid, I pumped social and emotional goals together.