Fiance past behavior . Did she cheat?

[Anonymous]

Last year my now fiance, then girlfriend complained about a coworker that she hated. She hated the co-worker because according to my fiance the girl liked a male co-worker and was jealous of their friendship.
My fiance swore at the time they were just friends, the girl was crazy, and the guy was not at all what she was interested in. My fiance is just a super friendly and outgoing person.
I believed her because the girl did some weird stuff.
Recently it was brought to my attention that my fiance may not have been totally innocent in this. Example leaving messages on his Facebook and going to lunch together daily, Starbucks cashier thought they were dating.
I know it sounds stupid. She doesn't see any of these people anymore.
I just have this weird gut feeling.

[Anonymous]

What did she say when you asked her?

[Anonymous]

She says they were just friends. Says maybe the guy had a crush on her. Misinterpreted the messages. Girl is crazy. People have lunch with coworkers and people like to gossip should mind their business.

[Anonymous]

Yeah she cheated. Dump her.

[Anonymous]

Well, imagine the worst case scenario... now, would that change your relationship or what you think of her now?
And why?

[Anonymous]

Er... I've had lunch with male coworkers and been friends with them. As have my friends. Do you want us to all segregate according to sex?

I'm not disputing your gut feeling, but the facts don't add up to cheating, OP.

[Anonymous]

I am a man who used to go to lunch many days with my female colleague at my previous employer. I do think her husband was jealous in some way (three times we all went to a basketball game, MY wife included, and he made an obvious effort to make sure his wife did not sit next to me). There was absolutely NOTHING there. I wasn't interested in her. Was she interested in me? Dunno, but I doubt it. I think some of this is dependent on other colleague lunch options. At my office, there were only four people in my decade of age, three or four one decade above, and eight or more two or three decades above. I'm not knocking having lunch with a 60 year old when you're 30, but it's just better to hang out with people your age and sometimes that person is the opposite sex. I also have been in the circumstance where my gut feeling on somebody cheating was later proven to be incorrect, at least a couple of times.

With that said, maybe trust your gut? lol

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have no issues having lunch with male co-workers. I think the thing that's bothering me about it is people thought they were dating and the messages.

Honestly if she did cheat I'd break up with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have no issues having lunch with male co-workers. I think the thing that's bothering me about it is people thought they were dating and the messages.

Honestly if she did cheat I'd break up with her.

Starbucks cashier opinion is irrelevant. Did people at WORK think they were dating? That would be a red flag. I think it's her responsibility to make it clear what their relationship is, between them and also to other friends and colleagues. Also, the content of the facebook messages would be important. People post all kinds of stupid crap on facebook that means nothing. I used to post on friends walls just so facebook's crappy algorithm would prioritize them in my feed rather than random acquaintances who had friended me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have no issues having lunch with male co-workers. I think the thing that's bothering me about it is people thought they were dating and the messages.

Honestly if she did cheat I'd break up with her.

Starbucks cashier opinion is irrelevant. Did people at WORK think they were dating? That would be a red flag. I think it's her responsibility to make it clear what their relationship is, between them and also to other friends and colleagues. Also, the content of the facebook messages would be important. People post all kinds of stupid crap on facebook that means nothing. I used to post on friends walls just so facebook's crappy algorithm would prioritize them in my feed rather than random acquaintances who had friended me

A mutual friend thought they were dating. Some other co-workers would tease her about dating them. Called him her work boyfriend.

The messages were mainly stuff about hanging out with her best friend meaning him. Liking several of his posts mainly about his kids, ex , or jokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have no issues having lunch with male co-workers. I think the thing that's bothering me about it is people thought they were dating and the messages.

Honestly if she did cheat I'd break up with her.

Starbucks cashier opinion is irrelevant. Did people at WORK think they were dating? That would be a red flag. I think it's her responsibility to make it clear what their relationship is, between them and also to other friends and colleagues. Also, the content of the facebook messages would be important. People post all kinds of stupid crap on facebook that means nothing. I used to post on friends walls just so facebook's crappy algorithm would prioritize them in my feed rather than random acquaintances who had friended me

A mutual friend thought they were dating. Some other co-workers would tease her about dating them. Called him her work boyfriend.

The messages were mainly stuff about hanging out with her best friend meaning him. Liking several of his posts mainly about his kids, ex , or jokes.

Trust your feelings, Luke.

[Anonymous]

Give her the boot ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Your gut feeling is all that counts. Whether she is actually cheating or not does not even matter.

[Anonymous]

How exactly were these FB messages brought to your attention?

[Anonymous]

I know it's hard while school is closed, but junior high will open in the fall.