Would I be really awful for this?

[Anonymous]

I am sure I will be told I am but here is the situation.
I have a long term sitter who works for me one afternoon a week and has done so for 4 years.
She adores my 9 year old son. It has always been a casual arrangement.
My son got ill and then of course this virus hit. It now appears that I can work from home 100% of the time (I am a recruitment director for a tech company).
Would it be really wrong to just leave the contact now and just assume that she knows she won't be needed anymore?
We have not been getting on lately and she has annoyed me a lot. I don't want the confrontation from telling her she is no longer needed so in this case, is it better just to slowly let things fizzle out? Please do not judge me. I just can't be doing with her anger at this horrible and stressful time.

[Anonymous]

How is this in any way awful? Some of you are such wusses.

[Anonymous]

So you want to ghost your babysitter?

Why not just send her an email, explain the change in your work situation, thank her for taking such good care of your child and Be done with it? Don’t be a wuss.

[Anonymous]

You’re so confused, OP.

You cannot see each other now, because of social distancing.
In several months when the pandemic is over you may wish to try again.

Communicate that right now you do not need her services. Simple.

[Anonymous]

I know she will react badly so I do feel ghosting is for the best. However bad that sounds.

[Anonymous]

Uhh, no, ghosting is never best. Just email or text, “I won’t need you for the next several weeks at a minimum. I will let you know if there comes a time when I need you again. Thanks.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know she will react badly so I do feel ghosting is for the best. However bad that sounds.

I mean how bad can an email reaction be? I don’t even think she can blame you. You’re supposed to be social distancing. Everyone is working from home. It’s not going to be a big deal.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Also, your son is 9. It’s not like you need a nanny to keep him entertained while you’re trying to work.

[Anonymous]

I would give her a few hundred dollars to let her replace your slot given how long she's worked for you. Don't ghost.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’re awful for this but I could see why you feel this way since the tension of the relationship was there prior to your son getting sick

I believe this works in your favor though

Give her a call saying you’ll no longer need her services, you’ll pay her out till xyz. Thank you for the time you’ve spent together and if she needs a reference you’ll gladly provide.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t adults communicate clearly? Just tell her ffs.

[Anonymous]

I am not going to need her at all now. Even when this is over.
I cannot afford to pay her. I know she will be mad and cannot deal with that.
It isn't just not needing her through the next couple months. I don't need her at all now. Period.
I don't want the drama and upset is all.

[Anonymous]

This woman has cared for your child for five years and you plan to ghost her? Wow. That is very cold and selfish of you.
Even if you don't like her, you say she adores your son and she has stayed loyal by the sounds of it. Least the poor woman deserves is an e-mail. What a selfish person you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not going to need her at all now. Even when this is over.
I cannot afford to pay her. I know she will be mad and cannot deal with that.
It isn't just not needing her through the next couple months. I don't need her at all now. Period.
I don't want the drama and upset is all.

Don't you understand? You pretext the pandemic for now. Then when it's over you say your kid is mature enough to stay home by himself now.

Easy.

[Anonymous]

can't imagine there's much recruitment going on now