Nursing facility wants FIL out

[Anonymous]

What obligation does a facility have to keep a patient? A facility accepted my FIL knowing that he is Medicaid-pending and knowing that he meeds a Memory Care facility. Their Memory Care wing opens in mid-April, and they agreed to take him until then (starting 2 weeks ago). They called my DH last night saying he needs more care, they can't handle him, and he needs to go elsewhere. They say he has been combative, but they can't produce reports. They say he tries to escape (I'm sure that's true).

What recourse do we have? What steps do we take? For many reasons, this facility is the best choice.

[Anonymous]

They could medicate to help deal with the combativeness, but that is a not a decision to be taken lightly. My FIL ultimately had to be medicated in order to keep him in care.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, don’t bring FIL to your house.

[Anonymous]

You may as well look for another place. If they want to get rid of him, they can just send him to the ER and then refuse to take him back when he is discharged. It happens all the time.

[Anonymous]

Get a private aide for him for the next month. If you take him out, you will never get him back in in April.

[Anonymous]

Did you tell them he might try to escape when you were discussing whether they could handle him? I think it’s pretty crappy to expect them to suck it up if they genuinely had no idea what they were really agreeing to. They might simply not have the staffing or the environment to handle that.

But overall, I wouldn’t want my family somewhere that people are saying they can’t handle them. Same for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell them he might try to escape when you were discussing whether they could handle him? I think it’s pretty crappy to expect them to suck it up if they genuinely had no idea what they were really agreeing to. They might simply not have the staffing or the environment to handle that.

But overall, I wouldn’t want my family somewhere that people are saying they can’t handle them. Same for kids.

Yes, we did mention he would try to escape. He has an ankle monitor. I think it's pretty crappy that a facility would agree to take him knowing his conditions and then decide later on that they can't care for him.

[Anonymous]

If they dont want him and dont think they can care for him it's obviously NOT the best choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a private aide for him for the next month. If you take him out, you will never get him back in in April.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell them he might try to escape when you were discussing whether they could handle him? I think it’s pretty crappy to expect them to suck it up if they genuinely had no idea what they were really agreeing to. They might simply not have the staffing or the environment to handle that.

But overall, I wouldn’t want my family somewhere that people are saying they can’t handle them. Same for kids.

Yes, we did mention he would try to escape. He has an ankle monitor. I think it's pretty crappy that a facility would agree to take him knowing his conditions and then decide later on that they can't care for him.

Hmmm well in that case then yeah I’d definitely be meeting with people to find out why they can’t deliver what they agreed to. I might ask for funding to have him switched. Don’t think I’d ever leave someone where they weren’t wanted though, so much abuse happens in those places already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell them he might try to escape when you were discussing whether they could handle him? I think it’s pretty crappy to expect them to suck it up if they genuinely had no idea what they were really agreeing to. They might simply not have the staffing or the environment to handle that.

But overall, I wouldn’t want my family somewhere that people are saying they can’t handle them. Same for kids.

Yes, we did mention he would try to escape. He has an ankle monitor. I think it's pretty crappy that a facility would agree to take him knowing his conditions and then decide later on that they can't care for him.

Look, they probably made the best decision they could with the information they had at the time. As the spouse of a nursing home administrator, I can tell you that most people underplay the difficulties that the patient presents. I don't know if you did or didn't. Also, people change and regress as their condition worsens.

If they informed you that they cannot handle him, he will be gone soon. Here all they have to do is give you a 30 day notice and if you don't move him, then they take you to court. It's not pretty. But it's even worse if they keep him and can't handle him. That actually puts him in danger. By working to get him moved, they are actually protecting him.

It's always hard when your parent is in long term end of life care. I hope you find a place that you are happy with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell them he might try to escape when you were discussing whether they could handle him? I think it’s pretty crappy to expect them to suck it up if they genuinely had no idea what they were really agreeing to. They might simply not have the staffing or the environment to handle that.

But overall, I wouldn’t want my family somewhere that people are saying they can’t handle them. Same for kids.

Yes, we did mention he would try to escape. He has an ankle monitor. I think it's pretty crappy that a facility would agree to take him knowing his conditions and then decide later on that they can't care for him.

My best friends parents bought into a community that had a memory care facility because her dad had dementia. When he finally needed that facility, he was there about 2 years before he became too difficult to manage. They had to transfer him to another, more well equipped, memory facility.

Shit happens. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell them he might try to escape when you were discussing whether they could handle him? I think it’s pretty crappy to expect them to suck it up if they genuinely had no idea what they were really agreeing to. They might simply not have the staffing or the environment to handle that.

But overall, I wouldn’t want my family somewhere that people are saying they can’t handle them. Same for kids.

What nursing facility has no idea that one of their new patients might try to escape?! It's textbook elder care. It's literally part of the service they provide.

[Anonymous]

They need to work with you to move him. There are few psych nursing facilities and to get in you need to be professionally referred. Get in touch with the facility’s social worker and get her to do the heavy lifting. This is actually her job.

[Anonymous]

DO NOT GO PICK HIM UP. LEAVE HIM THERE. You can look for other options but the medicaid pending or medicaid makes it very hard to transfer. There is one in Rockville that will take them but I looked at it and talked to them and they heavily medicate and it looked horrible. Get the ombudsman involved. If you are in MD/Montgomery County they are fantastic. Also, if you get the eviction letter, you can contact legal aide. It goes by his income not yours and they helped us out with a situation. The attorney was fantastic and better than any we have private paid.