Trip with DH in a few weeks and don't want to go

[Anonymous]

DH and I have been in a bad spot for several months. We were invited to a wedding in Costa Rica that we were originally not going to attend, citing not being able to get childcare for the kids (family lives far). But in January DH decided he wanted to go right before the RSVP deadline. It is now in a few weeks. I just...really do not want to go. I don't feel connected to him at all anymore, we don't speak much at home and don't spend much time together at home or outside it. I think in his mind these day-to-day, week-to-week interactions we had previously are not as big a deal as say, spending a weekend at a wedding or time away from kids/work etc, in order to connect/re-connect when we are able. And I guess I am different -- I feel like without the in-between we are just roommates.

Part of me thinks I just need to be honest about this with him and express what I'm feeling about not wanting to go and why. But I know that could cause a more significant rift between us. So another part of me thinks I need to suck it up and go. Yesterday I nearly had a panic attack spiraling about our issues and thinking about why I don't want to go on a trip with him and what that means for us. I am not sure what to do.

[Anonymous]

You’re not doing your part to make things better if you don’t go or if you go and pout. Geez!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're not willing to work on the relationship. Tell him to find a mistress and take her instead.

[Anonymous]

I am the one who has been pushing to improve the relationship for months. Suggesting things for us to do together, suggesting therapy, trying to have conversations, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the one who has been pushing to improve the relationship for months. Suggesting things for us to do together, suggesting therapy, trying to have conversations, etc.

Then go on the damn trip and stop pouting. Maybe he’s trying to make an effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the one who has been pushing to improve the relationship for months. Suggesting things for us to do together, suggesting therapy, trying to have conversations, etc.

AHh.. like going on a trip together to Costa Rica. Something to do together, and great time to have a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Relationship issues aside, it would be pretty shitty of you to un-R.S.V.P. to a destination wedding right before it.