Kind comments only. Getting deep on body image.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OK this might be hard to admit.
I have been objectifying myself. We all might give into this, comparing ourselves to images we see in the media.

I’m gonna post some really uncomfortable thoughts.

I feel incorrectly responsible for “looking right.” I feel responsible to my husband (did he end up with a pretty wife or an ugly [and/or fat] wife?).* I feel responsible to my ex-boyfriends (did the ex end up with someone prettier, skinnier, better? If so then he “won“). I feel responsible for my family pictures (the beautiful family picture is a “proven“ moment that you “won at life”).

These are ugly thoughts, but I’m going to admit, they’re affecting me.

*note, DH doesn’t say this, nor does he imply it with his words or actions. This is all from me.

[Anonymous]

If you're going to go deep and ugly, so will I in response. What about your husband getting a wife who makes him proud to be married to her for her smarts, her sense of humor, her organizational skills, her great parenting, her problem-solving, etc.?

You are so much MORE than just how you look.

[Anonymous]

Go ahead, op. Your post is why we are anonymous. People should be willing to get real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're going to go deep and ugly, so will I in response. What about your husband getting a wife who makes him proud to be married to her for her smarts, her sense of humor, her organizational skills, her great parenting, her problem-solving, etc.?

You are so much MORE than just how you look.

Yep. The older I get the more important it is that I have something behind my looks. I read a lot and a lot of newspapers. I try to be interesting in conversations. I don't want to be dull as I get older.

[Anonymous]

For alot of husbands, thats expected and maintaining your body (whether weight or other habits drinking alcohol,smoking,etc.) shouldn't even be a question.
I am tired of hearing the excuses, everyone makes choices everyday of how much exercise and how much they/what they eat.

Anonymous wrote:If you're going to go deep and ugly, so will I in response. What about your husband getting a wife who makes him proud to be married to her for her smarts, her sense of humor, her organizational skills, her great parenting, her problem-solving, etc.?

You are so much MORE than just how you look.

[Anonymous]

I understand. I’m getting divorced and finally not stressed about my weight. I can’t wait to be totally invisible.

[Anonymous]

Either use it as motivation or get some therapy.
Those statements are self defeating, jeez christ.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OK this might be hard to admit.
I have been objectifying myself. We all might give into this, comparing ourselves to images we see in the media.

I’m gonna post some really uncomfortable thoughts.

I feel incorrectly responsible for “looking right.” I feel responsible to my husband (did he end up with a pretty wife or an ugly [and/or fat] wife?).* I feel responsible to my ex-boyfriends (did the ex end up with someone prettier, skinnier, better? If so then he “won“). I feel responsible for my family pictures (the beautiful family picture is a “proven“ moment that you “won at life”).

These are ugly thoughts, but I’m going to admit, they’re affecting me.

*note, DH doesn’t say this, nor does he imply it with his words or actions. This is all from me.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I don’t *want* to have these thoughts. I’d like to get over them.

What’s a truth or a mantra I can use to fight these ideas when they come up?

We haven’t had a great family portrait for years. Well, at Christmas our family won a raffle(!!) for a professional photographer to do a family session.... I can use it anytime this year. And so far I have felt like I am wider than I am tall....

Heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m short and I’ve ballooned. It’s hard to accept that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t *want* to have these thoughts. I’d like to get over them.

What’s a truth or a mantra I can use to fight these ideas when they come up?

We haven’t had a great family portrait for years. Well, at Christmas our family won a raffle(!!) for a professional photographer to do a family session.... I can use it anytime this year. And so far I have felt like I am wider than I am tall....

Heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m short and I’ve ballooned. It’s hard to accept that.

If you can't accept that, then do something about it. Those are your ONLY options. Write it on your mirror in your bathroom. Make baby changes weekly or monthly: eat an extra serving of vegetables a day, brush your teeth after dinner and don't eat again, eat an apple for a snack, walk half a mile a day. It all adds up.

[Anonymous]

+1M, OP what are you doing at 430/5am? Go to the gym, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT or JUST LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT.

If you were my wife, I would have said you need to take care of that, yesterday. no excuses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t *want* to have these thoughts. I’d like to get over them.

What’s a truth or a mantra I can use to fight these ideas when they come up?

We haven’t had a great family portrait for years. Well, at Christmas our family won a raffle(!!) for a professional photographer to do a family session.... I can use it anytime this year. And so far I have felt like I am wider than I am tall....

Heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m short and I’ve ballooned. It’s hard to accept that.

If you can't accept that, then do something about it. Those are your ONLY options. Write it on your mirror in your bathroom. Make baby changes weekly or monthly: eat an extra serving of vegetables a day, brush your teeth after dinner and don't eat again, eat an apple for a snack, walk half a mile a day. It all adds up.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to explore the root of why you feel this way.

Caring because of your health is constructive. There are tactical things you can do to improve it.

Caring because of how society conditioned you is messed up. Your post sounds more like that one (and several of the posts already in this thread sound like they'd like to keep you there too).

[Anonymous]

Delete social media from your phone if it's making you feel bad. Stop scrolling and make it your goal to hit the gym. Change your diet, do something. Sticking with a healthy routine will give you results, sitting at home on DCUM won't.

[Anonymous]

Agree on deleting or ignoring social media for awhile. You should also consider talking to a therapist about it. There might be something deeper going on.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the OP but don't see it as a problem. My husband deserves to have a hot wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the OP but don't see it as a problem. My husband deserves to have a hot wife.

Wow, this is disturbing. I stay fit and healthy, but I do it for myself and not because my husband deserves it. I take care of myself because I deserve it.