protocol for paying for activities?

[Anonymous]

I am over-thinking this, I know. My son was invited to go to a jump house tomorrow. He was originally supposed to go to the child's house for a playdate, but the mom switched plans and asked to go to the jump house, and she said it was her treat. That is super nice of her, and I would have offered the same if the situation were reversed. Regardless, do I still offer to pay for my kid tomorrow? Give my kid money to cover incidentals (he's 5, so that that is not really a great plan)?

Thanks. Finances are not an issue here, just protocol. This is my first time in such a situation.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, among my friend group it goes like this:

I drop the kid off and say "He's got some money in his pocket for his ticket and a round of popcorn for everyone" (or whatever).

And then the money is still there when they come back.

[Anonymous]

Exactly. The protocol is that you send the kid with money and your kid comes back at the end of the play date with all the money.

[Anonymous]

I would offer to pay when I drop her off, and if the mom says no, thank her profusely and offer to pay next time (and actually follow through).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. The protocol is that you send the kid with money and your kid comes back at the end of the play date with all the money.

Who sends their 5 year old to a bounce house with a pocket full of money? That's ridiculous. (A) girls clothes don't have pockets and (B) even if they did, the money is likely to fall out while jumping!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. The protocol is that you send the kid with money and your kid comes back at the end of the play date with all the money.

Who sends their 5 year old to a bounce house with a pocket full of money? That's ridiculous. (A) girls clothes don't have pockets and (B) even if they did, the money is likely to fall out while jumping!!!

It's not a pocketful of money like it's coins we got from Robin Hood. It's a $20 bill tucked deep in a jacket pocket at this time of the year, most of which zip shut, and the jacket is taken off while jumping anyway.

Girls coats have pockets.

[Anonymous]

Just offer they will say no. Done.

[Anonymous]

Five year olds don’t need twenty dollar bills and no one is going to use your money for popcorn. Just be normal and say thank you and then pay for the next thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five year olds don’t need twenty dollar bills and no one is going to use your money for popcorn. Just be normal and say thank you and then pay for the next thing.

+1. If money isn’t an issue, you say, “thanks! I’ve got next time.” If there is an income disparity, then you just say, “thanks! Can I Venmo you for Larla’s half?”

[Anonymous]

Always offer, She most likely wont take it.
When you offer though, hand her the money. My whole family ( parent, Aunt, cousin) have his awful habit of saying " do you want me to give you some money for this" without actually having it in hand, and it makes me feel like I have to say no. When in reality, yes, I would like them to pay up sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five year olds don’t need twenty dollar bills and no one is going to use your money for popcorn. Just be normal and say thank you and then pay for the next thing.

This. Do not send a five year old with money.

[Anonymous]

Last weekend I took my kid rollerskating. I invited a friend of mine and her kid. She had plans but asked if I could just take her kid. I did and she gave me money which I used to pay for him to get in and his rentals then gave her the change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last weekend I took my kid rollerskating. I invited a friend of mine and her kid. She had plans but asked if I could just take her kid. I did and she gave me money which I used to pay for him to get in and his rentals then gave her the change.

I think in a case like this, it was correctly handled by all. The original offer was for parent and child to join which implies that each family would pay separately. In a case when only the child is invited, it’s nice when the parent offers to pay, and it’s up to the host to accept or not. It also depends on the relationship. If there’s regular reciprocity, it may not be necessary to offer payment.

[Anonymous]

I always hand the parent some money whether it was supposed to be a home play date or not. They usually eat out too. Recently a family offered to take my kid on an outing. I gave parent $40 ($20 for activity and $20 for meal). She tried to give money back but I didn't take it. Same family has taken my child out to eat on their dime. I host their kid at my house but have yet to take that kid out for an outing.

I have 3 kids and a napping toddler so it limits my outings. I'm grateful when others take my older kids out.

When I only had 2 kids. I often used to take other kids out for ice cream or pizza after games and school activities. No one ever paid me. If someone took my kid to get pizza, I wouldn't offer to pay either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. The protocol is that you send the kid with money and your kid comes back at the end of the play date with all the money.

Who sends their 5 year old to a bounce house with a pocket full of money? That's ridiculous. (A) girls clothes don't have pockets and (B) even if they did, the money is likely to fall out while jumping!!!

It's not a pocketful of money like it's coins we got from Robin Hood. It's a $20 bill tucked deep in a jacket pocket at this time of the year, most of which zip shut, and the jacket is taken off while jumping anyway.

Girls coats have pockets.

I hope you don’t get mad when the $20 disappears from your kids coat. I’m already supervising your kid, I’m not interested in guarding your cash you insisted on sending either.