Help-very nervous about DC's playdate

[Anonymous]

DC has been stay at home kid and has a shy tempermant. Not sure how she will act on a playdate and whether she will agree to separate from us. Its generally a "hit-or-miss" with her. Any word of advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

How old is your daughter?

[Anonymous]

2.5 year old. Application for the preschool program.

[Anonymous]

At that age all kids who aren't in day care are "stay at home" so I'm not sure what you're nervous about. That's very young. The people are used to all different behaviours at that age. Anyway, she is who she is. Maybe you should be applying to lower pressure pre-schools if you're so nervous.

[Anonymous]

Ignore 18:18 who has some sort of chip on her shoulder.

I wouldn't dwell too much on it. Do the obvious: make sure she has a good breakfast, she's well rested, etc. I might get there a few minutes early so that she has time to acclimate a bit before the room gets crowded. And I might simply tell her that she gets to play in a special place for a little while with really nice "babysitters" - and then tell her you'll go to a special restaurant afterwards for lunch together.

Most schools will understand. Some allow the parents to tag along for a little while. It will all be okay! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

And why, PP, would you describe the previous poster as having a chip on her shoulder? I think she makes some very good points. What's wrong with saying that 2.5 years old -- that's two and a half years old may be a tad too young to think about applying to a high-pressure admissions pre-school, especially when OP is obviously strung out about it herself?

[Anonymous]

What's a high pressure admissions pre-school? I thought high pressure is directly correlated with the tightness of one's anal sphincter and not the school per se.

[Anonymous]

They've seen it all. Most kids who fuss at separation are fine after the parents are out of view and that's when the real evaluation starts. Try to relax or your child will pick up on your nervousness. Make it fun. Make a story around it. (We're going off on an adventure to look at a school ... ) Offer to go out for a treat afterwords!

[Anonymous]

I've seen 4 and 5 year olds have trouble separating at the playdate, so I would not worry about it. I would say, however, that you should try to keep your anxieties at bay and roll with whatever happens. FWIW, DC 2's WORST playdate - just a little more than five - ended up admitting DC. He started crying in the parking lot (not because of separation but because he was OVER being on the private school playdate circuit) and refused to be comforted by a kind woman. Much to my horror, I met her fifteen minutes later when she greeted us at the playdate. And it all worked out fine. Yes, it is great when it goes smooth, but it can still work out with a rough beginning. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

For most preschool playdates, kids don't have to separate from parents -- the parents stay. Playdates without parents start when children are 3 or 4 when you're applying to PK, I believe.

[Anonymous]

Mine had a total meltdown when it was time to leave the office and its toy box to go to the school room where she would have her playdate. She cried, howled, and had a big old tantrum. I stood her up, took her toy away, and brightly said it was time to go have fun. She boohooed a bit on the walk to the room. I ignored her and chatted with our escort. I dropped her off and she had an awesome playdate and was admitted. I wholeheartedly believe that I was being evaluated as much as my daughter in this instance.

[Anonymous]

Well if Mom's there, it still holds that they've seen everything and that meltdowns, reticence and all the rest do not rule out admission.

[Anonymous]

I would practice with your daughter -- that's what we did. You can make it a fun "make believe" game and you play the child and she plays the mom (or however you want to do it). It worked for our very shy daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would practice with your daughter -- that's what we did. You can make it a fun "make believe" game and you play the child and she plays the mom (or however you want to do it). It worked for our very shy daughter.

So you would practice playing with your daughter?

a role model of a playmate, so to speak?

Don't kids have enough "practice" playing with friends?

I find this thread disturbing on so many levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would practice with your daughter -- that's what we did. You can make it a fun "make believe" game and you play the child and she plays the mom (or however you want to do it). It worked for our very shy daughter.

So you would practice playing with your daughter?

a role model of a playmate, so to speak?

Don't kids have enough "practice" playing with friends?

I find this thread disturbing on so many levels.

Hmmm, my DC's K class spends time role-playing as they work on social skills. I'm elated that they spend time on role-playing - social skills are integral to lifelong success. What is disturbing about that?