Mom keeps buying cheap Chinese knock-offs as gifts

[Anonymous]

This is the third time this has happened. At Christmas she volunteered to get DS a Nintendo Switch, asked if he could have one. When Christmas arrived he opened it and it was a knock-off Chinese brand model she had found on Amazon. No, she wasn’t ripped off or confused, she confessed that she thought this would be better because for the same price, it came with a bunch of accessories and built-in games. We explained later that it had to go back because the setup was in Chinese and we couldn’t set it up for him to even use. She returned it and promised to get him a new one but then never did and she never replaced the gift. He eventually saved up and we matched so he could buy one.

DS birthday was this weekend. She had asked what he wanted in a particular price range, and we told her. When he opened his gift, it was another Chinese knock-off, and again she claimed she chose this one instead because for the same price it came with extras. It’s again not what he was expecting and the charging cord is European. It’ll have to go back too.

How can we prevent this in the future without hurting her feelings. I don’t think it’s a money issue, I think she just thinks finding a bargain is a fun thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Why is she buying his wishlist items and not you? Just ask her to give him an Amazon card, or put $$ into his 529.

[Anonymous]

I think you have to stop giving her suggestions/wish list items that are electronic and/or can be knocked off.

[Anonymous]

Blame it on the kid...”he wants gift cards” and then take a picture of him using said card for grandma’s enjoyment.

[Anonymous]

Specific gift cards.
Best Buy (or similar) if kid desires a Switch.
Amazon gift card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is she buying his wishlist items and not you? Just ask her to give him an Amazon card, or put $$ into his 529.

Well the first time I assumed she was going to purchase the Nintendo. The second time it wasn’t a wish list item but still, he couldn’t use it when it arrived.

So when she asks for ideas just say gift card, really? I don’t think that’ll go over well. She will want to know why, to which... that is my original question. What do I say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she buying his wishlist items and not you? Just ask her to give him an Amazon card, or put $$ into his 529.

Well the first time I assumed she was going to purchase the Nintendo. The second time it wasn’t a wish list item but still, he couldn’t use it when it arrived.

So when she asks for ideas just say gift card, really? I don’t think that’ll go over well. She will want to know why, to which... that is my original question. What do I say?

Are you unable to be honest with her that you had to send back what she bought previously? That's a whole other issue then.

[Anonymous]

You need to have a conversation with her about not buying Chinese know-offs, and remind her that she still hasn't gotten her grandson a Christmas gift.

It's one thing to never buy gifts on principle, or to be too poor to afford a gift. That's perfectly respectable, and I would never feel offended about that. But I find your mother annoying, because she's being a little cruel at this point. Your son gets all excited about opening a present, which he then cannot use, and doesn't get replaced by the gift-giver despite promises to the contrary. I mean, I would describe it in exactly those terms to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she buying his wishlist items and not you? Just ask her to give him an Amazon card, or put $$ into his 529.

Well the first time I assumed she was going to purchase the Nintendo. The second time it wasn’t a wish list item but still, he couldn’t use it when it arrived.

So when she asks for ideas just say gift card, really? I don’t think that’ll go over well. She will want to know why, to which... that is my original question. What do I say?

Nearly every kid I know who is 11+ just wants a gift card. It’s not a strange thing to say. They want to pick out something for themselves in the moment and not be bothered about coming up with lists of wants.

[Anonymous]

Just say he asked for whichever brand specifically. “Mom, you know how much kids care about brands at this age!”

[Anonymous]

The Coronavirus should deter her from buying stuff from China anymore.

[Anonymous]

Maybe ask for gift cards to a specific place, like the movie theater near your home or his favorite ice cream place?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you can change her.

Some people just see no sense in buying brand name items when they see less expensive items that appear to be exactly the same to them. They think they’re being smart consumers and feel bad for people who they think are sucked in by the advertising for the brand name products.

I’m sorry, I have no suggestions except to just give away the things she buys and buy the things you prefer. Her feelings were probably hurt that you didn’t like the first game she sent and she probably thinks you all waste your money on brand names. So it might be better not to even tell her that the things won’t work.

[Anonymous]

If you can, just direct her towards different items, where the knockoff thing won't be an issue. If that's not an option, you just need to tell her something to the effect of "Mom, I know there are alot of off-brand options out there, but it is really important to DS to have the name brand for [reason] even though it doesn't come with as many accessories"

[Anonymous]

Don't use any of your good ideas on her, because you know that that's not what she'll buy, especially when it comes to electronics.