Really hate my ex

[Anonymous]

I really hate my ex. I hate when he calls my child. I hate when he picks her up. I hate seeing his emails. I hate his face. It has been five years. He is a lawyer and knows the law inside out, refuses to pay for education, summer camp. Cheap bastard when we were married. Cheap bastard when we are divorced. He just returned from overseas and I was deeply disappointed that his flight didn't blow. Ok, I'm angry.

[Anonymous]

Hard, but, try not to think about him and focus on the positive, like the fact you have a wonderful child together.

[Anonymous]

Why do you hate him so much? Because you have to deal with him?

[Anonymous]

How is it he doesn't pay for education, camp, etc?

[Anonymous]

The law doesn't say you have to pay for private education or summer camp, just the minimum child support amount, which barely covers my rent. I hate him so much because he doesn't care about being a father, just a buddy when it is convenient to him. I hate him because he takes her to bars after school, and says it's a neighborhood restaurant. I hate him because he takes her to casinos for vacations, and says they have a family friendly pool. I hate him because he would rather drive our child to his sister's out-of-state home for the weekend than take her to a soccer game. I hate him because I truly believe my daughter would be happier if he moved out of state, out of country, regardless what psychologists say about a father figure. I hate that he discusses his finances, our divorce settlement, our litigation, with our child, who is under the age of 7.

[Anonymous]

Sounds rough, OP!

[Anonymous]

OP,
Whoa. Some of this is bad. Is there anyway you could get him to work with a parent coordinator? He should not be discussing all that and if she plays on a team he should not be taking her away (unless it's a three-day weekend, that seems legit.) I negotiated how many soccer games DC's dad could pull DC from h Also, when your daughter starts getting homework, you are going to have to coordinate between the two homes and if you are not cooperating your daughter's grades might suffer (though she may be a self-reliant student, too early to know). Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my ex. We started taking DS to see a child psychologist. It really helps, because like it or not, these types of "fathers" will cause issues. Let me know if you A) live in NoVA and B) want the name and number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my ex. We started taking DS to see a child psychologist. It really helps, because like it or not, these types of "fathers" will cause issues. Let me know if you A) live in NoVA and B) want the name and number.

Not the pp, but I'd love to know who you used. I'm sure my husband will cause similar issues for our kids and maybe if he heard it in counseling with them, he might refrain.

[Anonymous]

Know that your child will see you for what you are, and your ex husband for what he is. What goes around, even though it doesnt seem like that now.

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much, your responses really help (and the venting). I do have my daughter in therapy, with a great psychiatrist who is relieving her of confusion and is also a positive male figure. Ex, however, would never go to parent coordinator, therapist. In his eyes, he is blameless and a fantastic dad. He has yet to pack her a lunch for school. He refuses to pick up or drive her to school. He believes he is more important than extracurricular activities and I still hate him.

[Anonymous]

You shared legal and physical custody? What's the overnight schedule? Have you campaigned to get him to go to a parent coordinator?

[Anonymous]

I meant to type SHARE (present tense) legal and physical custody.

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. FWIW sometimes it gets better. I spent the first couple of years, post divorce, hating my ex. For very similar reasons. Everytime he was away I hoped he'd be in a fatal car crash... and truly felt the kids would be better off without him in their lives. But I have to say that he has improved. For one thing, now he has a girlfriend and she seems to be a positive influence on him. He is steadier now and less of a constant asshole. So maybe there is hope...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my ex. We started taking DS to see a child psychologist. It really helps, because like it or not, these types of "fathers" will cause issues. Let me know if you A) live in NoVA and B) want the name and number.

Not the pp, but I'd love to know who you used. I'm sure my husband will cause similar issues for our kids and maybe if he heard it in counseling with them, he might refrain.

Dr. Cindy Galinski in Falls Church. Don't happen to have the number on me at the moment (posted the other yesterday), but I"m sure you can find her number online or from info. She's absolutely great.