How much weight to give for a child's middle school preferences?
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Anonymous
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How much weight to give for a child's middle school preferences?
4th grader wants to stay with friends for fifth grade at charter elementary school that feeds to DCI. One parent feels strongly that if we lotteried and got a spot at Latin, child should go there. Second parent uncertain. Child resists considering options other than graduating elementary school attended since PK3, and is actively trying to convince parents not to lottery. Any other families at this junction? |
Anonymous
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I think you need to sell your child on the positives of other schools. What's in it for him/her?
Appeal to their own selfish interest. |
Anonymous
| If the only chance you would switch schools now is by getting a spot at Latin, you might as well do the lottery and wait to discuss after results come in. You are not very likely to get a spot, so it is probably a moot point. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't worry about moving on to Latin, when the acceptance rate for applicants without older siblings is in the teens. If you've applied to BASIS and want the child to go there, then you're likely to have an issue. |
Anonymous
| Is your kid certain his friends aren't lotterying? I had friends that did the lottery every year even though they were perfectly happy at their current school. Some even moved on to different schools after unexpectedly getting into some other "great" school. |
Anonymous
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I agree with waiting until after the lottery results are available, then I'd tour.
Our kid is a little younger (3rd) but with major decisions, we've started telling her that we're interested in her thoughts/opinion, which we'll weigh but we'll make the final decision. That's what we plan in a couple years re: Deal vs. alternatives. |
Anonymous
Funny enough, Latin booster parent brought up Basis this weekend after a discussion at a soccer game shifted opinion to Latin>Basis>5th at charter then DCI. 5th grader really resistant to anything other than staying. In general, is middle school a parent choice or a student choice? |
Anonymous
Unfortunately the shadow days and most of the tours are before the lottery. |
Anonymous
| Latin offers post-lottery shadow days for admitted students. Make sure to arrange quickly -- the April DCPS vacation week is a good and popular option because Latin is in session. |
Anonymous
| My 3rd grader is expressing strong opinions on this too. I told him we're going to look at a few others because I want him to be aware of his options. If he remains adamant, I'm fine with his expressed (by-right) preference. |
Anonymous
That's good to know! Basis does not. |
Anonymous
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we're at a charter that goes thru 8th (Inspired Teaching). My kid and I were really thrown by the number of classmates who lotteried and got into Latin and Basis for 5th grade -- their ITS cohort was one of the highest performing in the city for PARCC, and there were really strong friendships and even younger siblings at the ITS so families aren't leaving the school altogether. I say this to prepare you and your kid for the fact that even if people seem really happy, the draw of a different path through 12th grade is sometimes just too strong for people to walk away from. And, Latin and Basis are more established than DCI so don't be surprised if people are looking at it instead of staying in your kid's cohort at their elementary. I'm really glad we stayed, but in hindsight I think I was kind of blind for not realizing and prepping my kid for the possible upheaval. They were really worried that their experience wasn't going to be good at ITS anymore, but it worked out well in the end. A lot of friends stayed and the new students who joined are great.
If you and your spouse are on the fence, I agree that it doesn't hurt to try the lottery and then see if you actually have a decision to make. |
Anonymous
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I would recommend you consider the child’s wishes in your decision. Middle school is hard enough with the changes and even harder at a new school knowing no one. I can see the child not happy being forced to go somewhere they don’t want to go and grades suffer.
I would just wait and see your results in the lottery then have the discussion. Really moot point if you don’t get in. |
Anonymous
| We lotteried for Latin thinking we would never get in, and lo and behold we did. Our kid did a shadow day post-lottery and absolutely loved Latin. I thought they would be sad about leaving good friends behind for 5th, but that has not been an issue. We still see plenty of old friends and now have lots of new ones as well. I was surprised by how many other kids also peeled off our high-performing charter at 5th. There just is quite a bit of churn for 5th and 6th, even if you have a strong feeder pattern. |
Anonymous
Unfortunately, I think it depends on the choice set, student characteristics, and family dynamics/needs. If your child is passionate about Spanish, DCI is convenient enough for that to be a good option, and you foster independence, the child might get to choose. If the child is stubborn and simply focused on comfort/social life, Latin would be the right fit for your family, and in general the child is expected to follow parent lead, you choose. Then there are in-betweens. But in this case, for sure apply and evaluate after. Why stress if there is no choice and why cut off having a choice if it's one you'd at least want to consider. |