Best private schools in NYC?

[Anonymous]

You can’t really generalize. Our pre interview tour at HM was fantastic, the tour guides were energetic and engaging and made sure we hit the areas my kid was particularly interested in - and it was totally randomly assigned from what I could tell.

Anonymous wrote:We also had a middling tour at HM, though we liked the faculty interviewer and to be honest the facilities are magnificent (easily the most impressive of the 3) even if the tour guide wasn’t.

I wonder if the middling student tours at pressure-cooker schools like HM and Trinity are simply because the kids have too many other things going on to want to give tours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not dressed appropriately. Knew nothing about the school except that it was really prestigious. Made no effort to make conversation or ask or answer questions throughout the length of the tour (the student tour guides did an admirable job of trying to include them but eventually gave up). Easily distracted by trivial things. Knowing the basics of how to behave on a tour is really not that hard. And they had no clue. They were not disruptive or rude or anything like that.

I'm a prep school + Ivy graduate and I've never worn a suit on a tour; I've seldom encountered an admissions officer or faculty member who was either. (I usually just wear a sweater or maybe at most a collared shirt)

As far as questions/engagement, we've been on some tours with families like that but as often as not it seems to be a comfort level or cultural thing; actually in a few cases my kid has gotten their kid more engaged than the parents seem inclined to be. I don't expect that most schools would count that against them unless they were disruptive in some way.

For someone allegedly so well educated you should know better about jumping to bad conclusions. And being contrarian for the sake of arguing. FFS.

Not sure of your gender. For a man, a suit or business casual is fine - suit is definitely not required. I've seen those who are professionally artsy types get away with something more casual, but it is part of their brand. Kid also would look ridiculous and overdone in a suit - I've seen it and it was dumb. The kid I was referring to was basically in sweats. I forget what the mom was wearing - it wasn't egregious and if that was the only thing wrong I wouldn't have noticed, but it was on brand.

Sorry if your "culture" doesn't teach you how to interact normally. By the time you are doing a HS tour, you should be at least halfway decent at that, or be able to fake it. Trinity has countless kids to choose from. Not their job to teach this. Don't have to be a superstar. Just not an outlier.

I'm guessing this wasn't a huge negative, but all things being equal, it probably didn't help.

NP. This is a huge overreaction to that prior post and you seem like a jerk. Now I can see what you thought a likely normal family was "odd" because it didn't confirm to your precious rich, UES snobbery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, We didn't wear anything flashy or ask a lot of questions in the Trinity tour as We just wanted to listen and observe and we generally a quieter person. I guess we probably got classified as " odd family" by the other family....

Yeah, frankly that poster sounds insane. I now think the "odd" family was just very likely normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, We didn't wear anything flashy or ask a lot of questions in the Trinity tour as We just wanted to listen and observe and we generally a quieter person. I guess we probably got classified as " odd family" by the other family....

Another dumb response.

You wear normal clothes. Not flashy. Not overdressed. Not underdressed. Really not that hard. Boy should wear khaki pants. Worst case nice jeans. Collared shirt or sweater. Really easy.

Over the course of a 30-45 minute tour you should engage in basic conversation. Don't bombard them with questions. But don't be totally silent. Again, not hard. People like talking about themselves. Ask the tour guides what they like to do, favorite teachers, subjects, activities, etc.

If this is not part of your culture, you have much bigger problems. Schools want kids who will engage socially and in the classroom, and by the time they are a teenager, they should be able to do this. I have a fairly quiet, shy kid but we coached him up on this. We didn't turn him into someone he isn't. But we reminded him to make eye contact, firm handshake, gave him a few questions to ask ahead of time, and told him to answer their questions with more than one word and show enthusiasm. This is table stakes. Especially for an 8th grader. The bar is much lower for the kid at lower grades, but in that case, the parents should be doing more of the talking, not just standing there silently.

Everyone here loves to disagree and try to poke holes. Trying to show how smart they are and in the process just advertising their ignorance. I am not saying anything remotely controversial. If you spoke to any admissions officer or consultant this is exactly what they would say. I'm giving free advice. You're welcome.

Holy crap lady. What is your problem? You really don't even like the hint of someone disagreeing with you, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trinity parent who wore normal clothing (pants, flats, sweater) for both our k tour and interview. Did not interview with head of admissions (Jennifer) or associate head of admissions (was Drew, is now Jaclyn). Unconnected and got lucky.

The couple we toured with was outwardly flashy, dad was pompous and talked over everyone and argued with his wife and tried to dismiss her questions. They probably thought we were the odd ones, but we never saw them again.

Wow, unconnected? Nice. Any tips

Luck. Honestly. My kid is very bright, but NYC is filled with very bright kids. I am confident that many applicants would have checked the same boxes and been equally successful in the school.

I wish I had meaningful tips. Be yourself. Be kind. Hope that your 4/5 year old has a good day on that visit. Know why the school is of interest to you and why you think your child would be a good fit and communicate that well. We focused a lot on the lower school experience at every school because it felt impossibly hard to predict who our kid would be in middle or high school. That is all I've got.

The rest is just luck.

This makes me feel good. We're unconnected. We have a very bright kid (also a 2nd rounder at Hunter). We didn't interview with Jaclyn or Jennifer though both had really kind responses to our thank you notes as both were at our kid's 2nd playdate. Our tour was wild though. Other family was kind. We asked a bunch of questions as we went through but the tour guide was really enthusiastic and shared so much and introduced us to so many teachers that the whole thing actually lasted a little over 2 hours. It was so thorough!

[Anonymous]

You are not ok in the head.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, We didn't wear anything flashy or ask a lot of questions in the Trinity tour as We just wanted to listen and observe and we generally a quieter person. I guess we probably got classified as " odd family" by the other family....

Another dumb response.

You wear normal clothes. Not flashy. Not overdressed. Not underdressed. Really not that hard. Boy should wear khaki pants. Worst case nice jeans. Collared shirt or sweater. Really easy.

Over the course of a 30-45 minute tour you should engage in basic conversation. Don't bombard them with questions. But don't be totally silent. Again, not hard. People like talking about themselves. Ask the tour guides what they like to do, favorite teachers, subjects, activities, etc.

If this is not part of your culture, you have much bigger problems. Schools want kids who will engage socially and in the classroom, and by the time they are a teenager, they should be able to do this. I have a fairly quiet, shy kid but we coached him up on this. We didn't turn him into someone he isn't. But we reminded him to make eye contact, firm handshake, gave him a few questions to ask ahead of time, and told him to answer their questions with more than one word and show enthusiasm. This is table stakes. Especially for an 8th grader. The bar is much lower for the kid at lower grades, but in that case, the parents should be doing more of the talking, not just standing there silently.

Everyone here loves to disagree and try to poke holes. Trying to show how smart they are and in the process just advertising their ignorance. I am not saying anything remotely controversial. If you spoke to any admissions officer or consultant this is exactly what they would say. I'm giving free advice. You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

Not sure how my post rubbed people the wrong way. As I noted, that is basic information that any college counselor would suggest. Nothing unique or offensive. Please tell me one thing I said that you disagree with?

Sounds like there are a bunch of people here (or one who is posting over and over, which is more likely) who are different and refuse to assimilate and instead want schools to conform to them. Sorry. Not gonna happen.

And I am neither rich (by NYC standards) nor from the UES.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of the people pushing back on your comments are themselves parents at the schools that you seem to be implying they’re not posh enough for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of the people pushing back on your comments are themselves parents at the schools that you seem to be implying they’re not posh enough for.

I never said nor implied such things. Apologies if that is the impression I gave. I was very careful in my wording. I am not saying you need to be fancy to go to these schools, nor posh to be "normal." I'm just saying that you need to obey very simple norms of behavior which I'm guessing most posters here who can string together a few sentences can do.

I don't think you need to wear fancy clothes or anything like that. Just look presentable. And know how to carry on a normal conversation. I'm not asking for a lot. These are things that most teenage kids can do, to say nothing of most adults who can hold a normal job.

I truly was not meaning to be a lightning rod. Perhaps my tone was a bit extreme - I apologize. Having a bad day. But the bulk of my post was very calm, thoughtful and measured. I truly don't think it was controversial in the least. The behavior I am suggesting for a tour of Trinity is the same as what one would do for a non-evaluative tour of any public school (which I did plenty of and where one sees a much broader spectrum of people).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trinity parent who wore normal clothing (pants, flats, sweater) for both our k tour and interview. Did not interview with head of admissions (Jennifer) or associate head of admissions (was Drew, is now Jaclyn). Unconnected and got lucky.

The couple we toured with was outwardly flashy, dad was pompous and talked over everyone and argued with his wife and tried to dismiss her questions. They probably thought we were the odd ones, but we never saw them again.

Wow, unconnected? Nice. Any tips

Luck. Honestly. My kid is very bright, but NYC is filled with very bright kids. I am confident that many applicants would have checked the same boxes and been equally successful in the school.

I wish I had meaningful tips. Be yourself. Be kind. Hope that your 4/5 year old has a good day on that visit. Know why the school is of interest to you and why you think your child would be a good fit and communicate that well. We focused a lot on the lower school experience at every school because it felt impossibly hard to predict who our kid would be in middle or high school. That is all I've got.

The rest is just luck.

This makes me feel good. We're unconnected. We have a very bright kid (also a 2nd rounder at Hunter). We didn't interview with Jaclyn or Jennifer though both had really kind responses to our thank you notes as both were at our kid's 2nd playdate. Our tour was wild though. Other family was kind. We asked a bunch of questions as we went through but the tour guide was really enthusiastic and shared so much and introduced us to so many teachers that the whole thing actually lasted a little over 2 hours. It was so thorough!

Does Trinity have 2 playdates? I wasn't aware of that?

[Anonymous]

I think if you are missed on school visit and they want to see you

[Anonymous]

Be careful scheduling appointments at Trinity. I have heard that they are very difficult about rescheduling, to the point of being kind of rude about it. It is one thing to say they are booked solid and don't have availability, but they refuse to even consider it, even with lots of notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trinity parent who wore normal clothing (pants, flats, sweater) for both our k tour and interview. Did not interview with head of admissions (Jennifer) or associate head of admissions (was Drew, is now Jaclyn). Unconnected and got lucky.

The couple we toured with was outwardly flashy, dad was pompous and talked over everyone and argued with his wife and tried to dismiss her questions. They probably thought we were the odd ones, but we never saw them again.

Wow, unconnected? Nice. Any tips

Luck. Honestly. My kid is very bright, but NYC is filled with very bright kids. I am confident that many applicants would have checked the same boxes and been equally successful in the school.

I wish I had meaningful tips. Be yourself. Be kind. Hope that your 4/5 year old has a good day on that visit. Know why the school is of interest to you and why you think your child would be a good fit and communicate that well. We focused a lot on the lower school experience at every school because it felt impossibly hard to predict who our kid would be in middle or high school. That is all I've got.

The rest is just luck.

This makes me feel good. We're unconnected. We have a very bright kid (also a 2nd rounder at Hunter). We didn't interview with Jaclyn or Jennifer though both had really kind responses to our thank you notes as both were at our kid's 2nd playdate. Our tour was wild though. Other family was kind. We asked a bunch of questions as we went through but the tour guide was really enthusiastic and shared so much and introduced us to so many teachers that the whole thing actually lasted a little over 2 hours. It was so thorough!

Does Trinity have 2 playdates? I wasn't aware of that?

They do in one of two situations that I’m aware of (I’m sure there are more). A) they came to see your child at their preschool and they were out sick that day, or B) you’re applying from public school and they can’t visit your child’s classroom, a preschool at an ongoing school (like Dwight, Trevor, etc) where they don’t allow another school to visit the classroom, or a preschool that they don’t have a relationship or enough applicants to warrant a visit.

To my knowledge that second play date is meant to provide the same type of information they gain from preschool classroom visits.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know of one admissions officer at a school who is particularly bad. Again, families aren't turning down the school specifically because of this person as your kid will never encounter them once they start there, but the fact that the school chooses this person to represent them does not reflect well. We have multiple friends who interviewed with this person and notified parents at the school about how bad it was and those parents reported it back to the school.[/quote]

We had a group tour at Riverdale led by two admissions officers *neither* of whom was able to answer very basic questions about the school in anything more than a hand-waving fashion, and when we interviewed with one of them later it was clear they actually didn't know the answers and weren't just trying to keep the tour moving.[/quote]

Interesting - what basic questions couldn't they answer?[/quote]

+1 on being treated second class at Trinity. But I’ve heard bad stories from other schools too. Maybe ppl have bad days and don’t shine as interviewers. Maybe they should interview fewer ppl..

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know of one admissions officer at a school who is particularly bad. Again, families aren't turning down the school specifically because of this person as your kid will never encounter them once they start there, but the fact that the school chooses this person to represent them does not reflect well. We have multiple friends who interviewed with this person and notified parents at the school about how bad it was and those parents reported it back to the school.[/quote]

We had a group tour at Riverdale led by two admissions officers *neither* of whom was able to answer very basic questions about the school in anything more than a hand-waving fashion, and when we interviewed with one of them later it was clear they actually didn't know the answers and weren't just trying to keep the tour moving.[/quote]

Interesting - what basic questions couldn't they answer?[/quote]

+1 on being treated second class at Trinity. But I’ve heard bad stories from other schools too. Maybe ppl have bad days and don’t shine as interviewers. Maybe they should interview fewer ppl..[/quote]

We had one particularly bad interviewer at a school - not warm at all, not very responsive to questions, didn't seem very engaged. Our friends happened to have the same person. Also had a bad experience. Some people just shouldn't be interviewing.

Totally agree that everyone has bad days, everyone doesn't click with everyone else (though it is the interviewer's job to try), etc.

The situation I am citing isn't Trinity but I have heard they have different tiers of interviewers. Not sure if it is random or based on their pre-screen of you (and your ranking with others interviewing at the same time) who you get.