Should I throw a baby shower for my friend?

[Anonymous]

This is her second baby, her oldest is 13. Should I throw a baby shower for her or would it be considered tacky because it’s her second baby?

[Anonymous]

Emily Post says its ok. https://emilypost.com/advice/top-baby-shower-etiquette-questions/

Relatedly, I posted about the etiquette of having a non-family host but holding the event at my mother's house. Post says family hosts are ok when there is a "reason." I feel like the situation you described also has a "reason" -- the 13 year gap between the two childen means the family has likely moved on from their baby gear and some gear is no longer considered safe to use.

[Anonymous]

Tacky to do big thing for second baby if you follow etiquette rules. Maybe a small group lunch of really close friends would be ok without expectations of gifts or games. Also, if she wants to have something, she could host a sip and see after the birth.

[Anonymous]

at that age gap I think its ok- shes going to have to start completely over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is her second baby, her oldest is 13. Should I throw a baby shower for her or would it be considered tacky because it’s her second baby?

I think you sound like a good friend. I would have no issue with this shower.

[Anonymous]

I had an 11 yr age gap between kids. I didn't want a big to-do, but a friend threw a diaper sprinkle. So it was a small group, in friends home, I was given diapers and a few sweet outfits.

It was so nice and I felt blessed! I didn't do a registry or anything like that. It was nice having an afternoon with the ladies.

[Anonymous]

I certainly wouldn't. I didn't want any for my kids. It's not quite right to celebrate before the birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is her second baby, her oldest is 13. Should I throw a baby shower for her or would it be considered tacky because it’s her second baby?

It’s tacky. First baby gets the shower and it doesn’t matter how long ago the older child was born.

[Anonymous]

I plan to throw a small one for my neighbor who is expecting her 3rd after an 8 year gap. Just the moms from the neighborhood and maybe one or two soccer moms.

Babies are wonderful and should be celebrated! Plus it gives us an excuse to shop in the infant section, a place we haven’t been to in years and buy tiny clothes!

[Anonymous]

Honestly I am pretty anti-gift grabs, gender reveals and all that but I think having a small celebration for each baby is nice. Babies are such a blessing and I happily go to sprinkles etc for friends who are expecting their next kid. It’s nice to celebrate.

[Anonymous]

I am super anti baby showers but I don’t think it’s tacky bc it’s such a large gap.

[Anonymous]

I am all for celebrating each baby as well. Go for it! I’m sure she will appreciate it

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone!

[Anonymous]

Not tacky. And with a 13 year age gap, she probably has a lot of new friends who weren’t there for the first shower. My oldest is 8 and there were already so many different things when I had my last baby, I can imagine even if she saved things, nothing would meet current safety standards. I would have zero problem going and bringing a gift. If someone doesn’t want to go, they can RSVP no.

[Anonymous]

I personally think it is tacky, especially if she registers. That said, I think you could organize something like a girls night out with the mother to be for dinner, and if people are inclined to do a gift, have them bring a book.