Explain a night nurse to me

[Anonymous]

No snark - but DH and I were discussing this last night (due with our 3rd soon) and literally had no clue what a night nurse does. He thought they slept in the room with the baby. I was pretty sure they stayed up the whole time but then realized I had no idea. We have never needed a night nurse with our first two kids (both slept pretty well starting at 8 weeks) but who knows with this kid. Doesn't it feel weird sleeping knowing that there is another adult just in the room next to you? I assume night nurses are vetted thoroughly and hired through an agency?

[Anonymous]

They stay in the same room. They really shouldn't sleep, but some do. (Our nurses tended to read a book or watch Netflix.) It does feel weird having another adult in the house, but it was worth it to me so I could get some sleep. Yes, they are vetted through an agency. Many are nurses or in the medical field. Some are women with a ton of experience with babies.

[Anonymous]

The night nurse stays in the nursery with the baby. Our night nurse did stay awake all night. In the early days, she would wake me when the baby was hungry and I’d nurse and then she would take him back out and change and resettle him. AS soon as I was pumping enough, she gave him a bottle and I got eight hours of glorious sleep!

[Anonymous]

Why do they have to stay awake all night? Can't they just wake up when the baby fusses?

[Anonymous]

I have never used one but I have heard of both scenarios...one where they are expected to be awake all night and one where they are "allowed" to lay down and snooze right next to the baby.

If you have ever had a baby that takes a lot of effort to resettle back to sleep or who stays up hours in the middle of the night fussing, good for you. But those babies exist and it is really, really difficult. The compounded lack of sleep from this situation with my first child caused me debilitating anxiety. Do not call parents who use a night nurse lazy until you've walked a mile in those shoes.

[Anonymous]

Night nurses - usually infant care specialists, not registered nurses - take care of baby at night, usually just a couple nights a week. We got one through an agency. She comes twice a week and gives bottles, changes diapers, and rocks baby as needed.

We have one we hired when I was pregnant, but she didn’t start until baby was 4 weeks or so, and she only comes twice a week. It’s definitely saved my mental health, and I’m sure prevented numerous sleep deprived fights I might have had with my husband. Even if baby has a horrible night (with me) I take great comfort knowing that in just a few days I’ll get a full night of sleep.

This is our third kid so it’s especially valuable not to have to nap so much during the day; I can get other stuff done and focus on my older kids more. I wish we’d had one with our first, though, because she was a terrible sleeper and it took a toll on my health and my marriage.

[Anonymous]

Genuinely curious if the posters who say night nannies are for lazy parents ever use any childcare whatsoever. Do you EVER have someone, paid or unpaid, take care of baby so you can nap? Go to the gym? Take a shower? Go to work?

This is literally the exact same thing, only at night.

[Anonymous]

My third child was 3 weeks old when my husband left for a 6 month deployment to a combat zone (2004.) My other kids were also young at the time (2 and 4 years old.) I had no family that could come help me out, and I was also recovering from a C section.
If I had been able to afford it I definitely would have hired a night nurse for the first few weeks I was alone with all 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

My first had a lot of medical issues and had been in the hospital for 2 months starting at birth. When he came home, I was an anxious mess and could not sleep unless someone was watching him. So, we hired a night nurse (an actual nurse). It really was good for me. Then I hired the same one for my subsequent children. That was a total luxury, but awesome!

[Anonymous]

Night nurses are basically people you pay so you can sleep. I can't function without eight solid hours so they were a godsend to me. I don't care if anyone thinks it's lazy. I'm not worried about meeting some imaginary standard. My only regret is we were too poor to afford it with the first two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No snark - but DH and I were discussing this last night (due with our 3rd soon) and literally had no clue what a night nurse does. He thought they slept in the room with the baby. I was pretty sure they stayed up the whole time but then realized I had no idea. We have never needed a night nurse with our first two kids (both slept pretty well starting at 8 weeks) but who knows with this kid. Doesn't it feel weird sleeping knowing that there is another adult just in the room next to you? I assume night nurses are vetted thoroughly and hired through an agency?

There’s no such thing as a night nurse, unless you’re hiring a RN or LPN due to health issues.

I think you mean NCS (Newborn Care Specialist). Whether they sleep overnight depends on duties and schedule. Many NCS work 24 hour shifts multiple days in a row; they sleep whenever they can. An overnight NCS scheduled 12 hours or less won’t sleep.

NCS are hired to help with anything related to the baby, and to teach ftp how to care for a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Night nurses - usually infant care specialists, not registered nurses - take care of baby at night, usually just a couple nights a week. We got one through an agency. She comes twice a week and gives bottles, changes diapers, and rocks baby as needed.

We have one we hired when I was pregnant, but she didn’t start until baby was 4 weeks or so, and she only comes twice a week. It’s definitely saved my mental health, and I’m sure prevented numerous sleep deprived fights I might have had with my husband. Even if baby has a horrible night (with me) I take great comfort knowing that in just a few days I’ll get a full night of sleep.

This is our third kid so it’s especially valuable not to have to nap so much during the day; I can get other stuff done and focus on my older kids more. I wish we’d had one with our first, though, because she was a terrible sleeper and it took a toll on my health and my marriage.

+1
Had one with my third because my husband was very ill. He’s feeling better, thank goodness, but we will likely repeat with #4bc I have c-sections and my mom is burned out.

[Anonymous]

I used to do this. There are three levels:
Night nanny: just a lady who has some experience caring for newborns.
Newborn Care Specialist: some minor training and at least 1800 hours of hands-on experience with newborn care
Baby nurse: Should have an RN or LPN, but occasionally people in the night nanny category will call themselves this, not realizing that it puts them at risk of liability since they are not medical professionals.

You can have someone who is awake the whole night but you usually have to pay extra for it. I was never getting much sleep but it is nearly impossible to sit quietly in a dark room with a sleeping baby and not drift off here and there. But I was never sleeping so deeply that I missed a whimper from the baby(ies).

Typically I would arrive between 9-10, depending on when the baby went down. I would usually chat with the parents while they did the last feed of the night, then I would get the baby(ies) down for the night. Usually new parents have lots of questions, so typically I would spend the first “shift” (10-1) putting together an email for them with links to sources that answered any questions they had or helped with any issues they mentioned (swaddling, soothing, bottle-feeding, nursing, scheduling, bathing—all that basic trouble-shooting). Then when the baby woke I would either bring to parents for nursing or make a bottle and afterwards I would handle burping, changing and settling baby. If a parent was nursing I would offer to bring drinks or snacks during the feed. If they were pumping I would wash and sanitize pump parts and assemble for the next feed, or if bottle-fed I would wash and sanitize bottles and prep formula for the next meal.

The middle shift of 1-4-ish I would usually just rest and sit in the chair in the nursery. When they woke I would rinse and repeat the routine from before. Then 4-7 I would prep bottles or pump parts and tidy the nursery for the next day.

My clients fell into a few categories:
1) families with multiples
2) high-needs babies such as colic, gastro tube, severe reflux, or other medical complications
3) Parent with medical needs such as PPD or PPA, or complications with the delivery or preexisting disability that caused them to need more help such as MS or RA
4) Parents who used only one or two nights a week to keep from being completely exhausted (usually either a single parent, a coparent who had no parental leave and long work hours or a SAH parent with other children who needed attention during the day that precluded napping with the baby).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely curious if the posters who say night nannies are for lazy parents ever use any childcare whatsoever. Do you EVER have someone, paid or unpaid, take care of baby so you can nap? Go to the gym? Take a shower? Go to work?

This is literally the exact same thing, only at night.

No i never used anyone but DH.

[Anonymous]

I have 4 kids and have gone the night nurse & no night nurse route. Ignore the snark from ignorant posters. I think play it by ear bc contrary to what night nurses lead you to believe, you don’t have to arrange one the second you find out you’re pregnant! For my reflux baby who was on a heart/breathing monitor and needed to be given medicine every 3 hours and held upright after feeding, the night nurse was worth every penny and saved my sanity. For my easy baby, a night nurse would have been a total waste and more of a hassle. For my last baby, the Snoo was better than a night nurse! My point is, wait to see the baby’s disposition and how the logistics in your family are going.