Going to church if you're not religious

[Anonymous]

How do folks feel about attending and participating with a church when you're not really a believer?

DW attends and it's a good source of community, nice folks, etc ... I haven't gone for years b/c I'm not esp religious and didn't want to "pretend," but now I'm reconsidering b/c church is often a place where couples make friends, build community, etc. and it would be nice if we did that together.

I still wouldn't want to "pretend" ... I'm on board with the values folks talk about at church, golden rule, charity etc ... just not feeling the faith part. The one thing I've wondered is will fellow church members feel compelled to evangelize to me if I'm open about my unique POV (participating, but not really believing).

FWIW DW does not pressure me in any particular direction. She's fine with me coming along OR staying home on sundays to read the paper etc.

[Anonymous]

I do it. I can't swallow religion although I do feel a connection to Christianity, since that's how I was raised. I could go for any religion, though, since religions are man-made and not about God but about man's need for God.

It does feel a bit awkward but still worthwhile to go. I would since your wife believes. At least you have that reason to be there. I'm sure plenty of other people in church don't believe or have doubts but go anyway, for family reasons.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of people who sitting in the pews for the community aspect who are not true believers. They just don't broadcast it, for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous]

Some churches focus on the values side of the equation more ... others really hit the "belief" side all the time. Seems easier if you're not frequently drawn into "altar call" kinds of conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I've wondered is will fellow church members feel compelled to evangelize to me if I'm open about my unique POV (participating, but not really believing).

This is not something I’d be compelled to broadcast. It’s completely unnecessary and more likely to result in someone trying to save your soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I've wondered is will fellow church members feel compelled to evangelize to me if I'm open about my unique POV (participating, but not really believing).

This is not something I’d be compelled to broadcast. It’s completely unnecessary and more likely to result in someone trying to save your soul.

Not in my church (Presbyterian). There is a woman in the story group who says openly she’s agnostic, and nobody ever gives her flack.

[Anonymous]

I am the DW and I attend church with my daughters even though I fully recognize that churches are all about mans need for God. It’s nice to be in touch with my cultural traditions while being part of a community that’s a force for good in the world. Plus I just find the rituals comforting. Our particular denomination is heavy on the action and not at all about “your personal relationship with our lord and savior Jesus” so I don’t even feel like I have to hide anything because no one ever asks. I am completely truthful when I say I want to be part of a church that spreads the love of Christ in the community.... in the sense that “Truly I tell you, whatever you do for the least of my brothers among you, you do also for me.”

My husband actually comes from a completely different religious tradition altogether (Hindu) and just doesn’t participate at all. But he’s fine with me and the girls going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I've wondered is will fellow church members feel compelled to evangelize to me if I'm open about my unique POV (participating, but not really believing).

This is not something I’d be compelled to broadcast. It’s completely unnecessary and more likely to result in someone trying to save your soul.

Not in my church (Presbyterian). There is a woman in the story group who says openly she’s agnostic, and nobody ever gives her flack.

Intriguing ... Any good churches in the Bethesda - Chevy Chase area with this feature (not a bug)?

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of mainstream Catholics are like this (including me). I've never been evangelized to by a parishioner at a Catholic church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of mainstream Catholics are like this (including me). I've never been evangelized to by a parishioner at a Catholic church.

Catholics aren't particularly evangelical unless there is an abortion clinic involved, I don't think...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I've wondered is will fellow church members feel compelled to evangelize to me if I'm open about my unique POV (participating, but not really believing).

This is not something I’d be compelled to broadcast. It’s completely unnecessary and more likely to result in someone trying to save your soul.

Not in my church (Presbyterian). There is a woman in the story group who says openly she’s agnostic, and nobody ever gives her flack.

Intriguing ... Any good churches in the Bethesda - Chevy Chase area with this feature (not a bug)?

You might want to check out Unitarian Universalist congregations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of mainstream Catholics are like this (including me). I've never been evangelized to by a parishioner at a Catholic church.

Catholics aren't particularly evangelical unless there is an abortion clinic involved, I don't think...

Not even when it comes to that. We go to church, get it over with, and that's it.

[Anonymous]

Religious attendance is down across the board. Churches want members.

There is an Episcopal church I pass by often (in a different city) that says on its door "believing is not a condition to belonging".

[Anonymous]

I would not think there is anything wrong with you going to the church and hanging out with the group.
Why would it be? Isn't it what they are about? Inclusion? Even Jesus had only 12 true followers
and the rest was just hanging out at the time making up their minds one way or another.
It takes time for people to convert so it seems and why anyone would expect from you anything
different then Jesus expected from people? He let people follow him and some of them at some
point became believers.
If the church you are going to has any semblance of Jesus and his teachings then you should
be fine being entirely honest and they still should embrace you.
Just be honest and say that you are not converted at this point but you like to hang out
with them and if this is a problem.
What kind of church would say to you, no you can not come, it is for members only
even if your wife is a member. If they would say so, that would be basis for reconsideration
of their values if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of mainstream Catholics are like this (including me). I've never been evangelized to by a parishioner at a Catholic church.

Catholics aren't particularly evangelical unless there is an abortion clinic involved, I don't think...

Not even when it comes to that. We go to church, get it over with, and that's it.

But aren't you still supposed to try to convert people?

It's not like Judaism, which has no proselytizing element at all.