Asking employer for more mat leave than FMLA?

[Anonymous]

My employer doesn't provide any parental leave benefit other than standard 12 weeks FMLA. This is not enough for me. I'm only 3 months pregnant so haven't told my employer that I'm pregnant yet but when I do in the next couple weeks I also want to tell them I want to take off 4-5 months of maternity leave. I feel like I'm a valued employee and that my employer will be willing to work with me on this(I mean what's another month or two in the grand scheme of things?). Has anyone asked for more than what FMLA provides and how did your employer take it?

[Anonymous]

Have they let anyone else? How many employees do they have? Will it be unpaid (will it all be?)

[Anonymous]

Has your manager had kids? have they taken time off? if so how long and do you know if they thought it adequate? how empathetic are they in general?

[Anonymous]

Will you lose benefits, etc.?

[Anonymous]

This is OP, it's a small government contractor. 80 employees, probably 20% are women (IT/engineering) and of those most are in their 20s and either single or married without kids. I've been at the company for 18 months and I haven't known any employees to be pregnant before so I'm not sure they come across this often. The only thing I have in writing is 12 weeks FMLA unpaid other than 6 weeks disability.

I feel like I'm not asking for a lot since I'm not getting paid for any of it anyways. Just more time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will you lose benefits, etc.?

This is a good question and something I have on my list to discuss. We are currently on my health insurance and I want to keep it that way until after the birth. We can always switch to my husbands insurance plan after that if my employer won't let me keep my insurance past the 12 weeks so I figured it's a nonissue anyways...

[Anonymous]

I don't know about your job, but for DC1, I worked for a small non-profit and people definitely had to cover my work while I was gone. I was planning to just take the 12 weeks but called them about 2 weeks before I was supposed to go back and asked for longer and HR said yes so quickly I don't think she even asked my supervisor about covering my work. But I think the answer just depends on your job, their willingness to accommodate, and the burden on your co-workers and/or the company's bottom line (if they take on less work, produce less, or have to farm out what you are not there to do). I don't think it hurts to ask.

[Anonymous]

I did this. My boss was not empathetic/doesn't have kids/nobody else had done it before. I went in and asked for 4 months. They said it would be hard to do, that they needed me, etc and I said I am happy to do what is needed to facilitate the ball not getting dropped while I am away. I came prepared with a plan on how that would be accomplished. I also volunteered to participate in any big, strategic calls (one occured 1 week after birth). I also agreed to transition back on a part time schedule for that final month. This worked perfectly well! I called into a few meetings here and there, and then in the final month I would physically come in for a few big meetings, and was responsive (within a day) to emails at home. It was totally worth it and I suggest you ask for it! Nothing to lose honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this. My boss was not empathetic/doesn't have kids/nobody else had done it before. I went in and asked for 4 months. They said it would be hard to do, that they needed me, etc and I said I am happy to do what is needed to facilitate the ball not getting dropped while I am away. I came prepared with a plan on how that would be accomplished. I also volunteered to participate in any big, strategic calls (one occured 1 week after birth). I also agreed to transition back on a part time schedule for that final month. This worked perfectly well! I called into a few meetings here and there, and then in the final month I would physically come in for a few big meetings, and was responsive (within a day) to emails at home. It was totally worth it and I suggest you ask for it! Nothing to lose honestly.

PP again, I was unpaid for most of my leave, month 4 I did a transition schedule where it was like 10%/20%/50% paid. I also tracked all my time. When I returned i had to lump sum pay my benefit contributions for that unpaid time period, but they did allow me to keep beenfits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this. My boss was not empathetic/doesn't have kids/nobody else had done it before. I went in and asked for 4 months. They said it would be hard to do, that they needed me, etc and I said I am happy to do what is needed to facilitate the ball not getting dropped while I am away. I came prepared with a plan on how that would be accomplished. I also volunteered to participate in any big, strategic calls (one occured 1 week after birth). I also agreed to transition back on a part time schedule for that final month. This worked perfectly well! I called into a few meetings here and there, and then in the final month I would physically come in for a few big meetings, and was responsive (within a day) to emails at home. It was totally worth it and I suggest you ask for it! Nothing to lose honestly.

PP again, I was unpaid for most of my leave, month 4 I did a transition schedule where it was like 10%/20%/50% paid. I also tracked all my time. When I returned i had to lump sum pay my benefit contributions for that unpaid time period, but they did allow me to keep beenfits.

That's interesting. That was another option I was thinking about, maybe doing part time for month 4 to transition back if they are absolutely against a full four months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this. My boss was not empathetic/doesn't have kids/nobody else had done it before. I went in and asked for 4 months. They said it would be hard to do, that they needed me, etc and I said I am happy to do what is needed to facilitate the ball not getting dropped while I am away. I came prepared with a plan on how that would be accomplished. I also volunteered to participate in any big, strategic calls (one occured 1 week after birth). I also agreed to transition back on a part time schedule for that final month. This worked perfectly well! I called into a few meetings here and there, and then in the final month I would physically come in for a few big meetings, and was responsive (within a day) to emails at home. It was totally worth it and I suggest you ask for it! Nothing to lose honestly.

That's awesome. Sounds like it worked out perfectly for you. I figured all I can do is discuss what I want and if they say no I have plenty of time to figure out what I want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this. My boss was not empathetic/doesn't have kids/nobody else had done it before. I went in and asked for 4 months. They said it would be hard to do, that they needed me, etc and I said I am happy to do what is needed to facilitate the ball not getting dropped while I am away. I came prepared with a plan on how that would be accomplished. I also volunteered to participate in any big, strategic calls (one occured 1 week after birth). I also agreed to transition back on a part time schedule for that final month. This worked perfectly well! I called into a few meetings here and there, and then in the final month I would physically come in for a few big meetings, and was responsive (within a day) to emails at home. It was totally worth it and I suggest you ask for it! Nothing to lose honestly.

PP again, I was unpaid for most of my leave, month 4 I did a transition schedule where it was like 10%/20%/50% paid. I also tracked all my time. When I returned i had to lump sum pay my benefit contributions for that unpaid time period, but they did allow me to keep beenfits.

That's interesting. That was another option I was thinking about, maybe doing part time for month 4 to transition back if they are absolutely against a full four months.

I will say that juggling it all was hard. More than 1 month working part time would have been too much I think. I don't regret it AT ALL but it gave me a lot of respect for women who work PT, it is seriously the worst. You have to let go of just about everything, otherwise you'll end up working a ton.

[Anonymous]

I did this. I took 4 full months (17 weeks in the end) with my first and I was nervous to ask, but it went well and I would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact next baby I will probably ask for 5 or 6. I just really feel like 3 months is the bare minimum. If everything goes well 3 is okay, but we struggled with breastfeeding and looking back having to go back after 4 months was a big factor in me stopping breastfeeding, something I somewhat regret now (though of course, it's all fine and baby is happy!) It is worth the ask for sure and I think the more people ask, the more it will become normal for people to take more reasonable leaves. Also, unless you work for a small company, people really will be just fine. It's 1-2 times in your life for most people and a rare opportunity to spend time at home with your kid if you plan to WOH. I think it's worth it!

[Anonymous]

I took 16 weeks. I saved up 9 weeks vacation and then also used the standard 6 weeks disability for right post childbirth. This is my second child. Fort be frost one I took 16 weeks also but had less vacation so ended up taking leave without pay. My employer was ok with it but they have generally been family friendly and understanding. We are a company of 400 people.

[Anonymous]

I worked out a similar deal when I was out. I took about 19 weeks, with a few meetings and some increasing amounts of part-time ramping up for the last couple weeks.