Should I divorce my DH?

[Anonymous]

Today I got verbally abused. He was in the living room and I was in the kitchen. I opened the fridge and knocked into something, then a glass plate smashed onto the ground. He then came to see the mess and called me a dog.

The verbal abuse is not daily, but it’s often. I usually get called filthy, dog, piece of dirt, etc, whenever I do something wrong. Sometimes I feel I deserve it. But other times I feel it’s uncalled for.

He’s really generous though. Always participating in charity and fundraising. He pays for all the groceries.

I’m really confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today I got verbally abused. He was in the living room and I was in the kitchen. I opened the fridge and knocked into something, then a glass plate smashed onto the ground. He then came to see the mess and called me a dog.

The verbal abuse is not daily, but it’s often. I usually get called filthy, dog, piece of dirt, etc, whenever I do something wrong. Sometimes I feel I deserve it. But other times I feel it’s uncalled for.

He’s really generous though. Always participating in charity and fundraising. He pays for all the groceries.

I’m really confused.

How long have you been married? Any children?

It sounds like you have separate finances, but most people don’t consider paying for groceries as generous. It’s just a regular household expense.

Get a divorce. Life is too short for this crap.

[Anonymous]

Individual counseling for each of you.

[Anonymous]

Before you get a divorce you should at least tell him not to ever talk to you like that again. Stand up for yourself. See what he does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I got verbally abused. He was in the living room and I was in the kitchen. I opened the fridge and knocked into something, then a glass plate smashed onto the ground. He then came to see the mess and called me a dog.

The verbal abuse is not daily, but it’s often. I usually get called filthy, dog, piece of dirt, etc, whenever I do something wrong. Sometimes I feel I deserve it. But other times I feel it’s uncalled for.

He’s really generous though. Always participating in charity and fundraising. He pays for all the groceries.

I’m really confused.

How long have you been married? Any children?

It sounds like you have separate finances, but most people don’t consider paying for groceries as generous. It’s just a regular household expense.

Get a divorce. Life is too short for this crap.

I’ve been married for 3 years. No children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
.
.
.
He’s really generous though. Always participating in charity and fundraising. He pays for all the groceries.

I’m really confused.

How long have you been married? Any children?

It sounds like you have separate finances, but most people don’t consider paying for groceries as generous. It’s just a regular household expense.

Get a divorce. Life is too short for this crap.

If the best thing you can say about your husband is that he pays for groceries, that’s really sad. Also, it’s not generous to purchase groceries for your own household. That’s not worth putting up with abuse over!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before you get a divorce you should at least tell him not to ever talk to you like that again. Stand up for yourself. See what he does.

He tells me that I’m the one who makes him resort to name calling. He always tells me he doesn’t like using that sort of language, but I’m the one who leads him to it.

How do I improve my marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you get a divorce you should at least tell him not to ever talk to you like that again. Stand up for yourself. See what he does.

He tells me that I’m the one who makes him resort to name calling. He always tells me he doesn’t like using that sort of language, but I’m the one who leads him to it.

How do I improve my marriage?

This is emotional abuse. I would leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
.
.
.
He’s really generous though. Always participating in charity and fundraising. He pays for all the groceries.

I’m really confused.

How long have you been married? Any children?

It sounds like you have separate finances, but most people don’t consider paying for groceries as generous. It’s just a regular household expense.

Get a divorce. Life is too short for this crap.

If the best thing you can say about your husband is that he pays for groceries, that’s really sad. Also, it’s not generous to purchase groceries for your own household. That’s not worth putting up with abuse over!

He’s got other good things.

He’s:

Intelligent
Funny
Great sense of humour
Ambitious
Teaches me many things about life
Organised

However, my main problem is that he verbally abuses me often by name calling, yelling, putting me down, being sarcastic, mimicking me, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I got verbally abused. He was in the living room and I was in the kitchen. I opened the fridge and knocked into something, then a glass plate smashed onto the ground. He then came to see the mess and called me a dog.

The verbal abuse is not daily, but it’s often. I usually get called filthy, dog, piece of dirt, etc, whenever I do something wrong. Sometimes I feel I deserve it. But other times I feel it’s uncalled for.

He’s really generous though. Always participating in charity and fundraising. He pays for all the groceries.

I’m really confused.

How long have you been married? Any children?

It sounds like you have separate finances, but most people don’t consider paying for groceries as generous. It’s just a regular household expense.

Get a divorce. Life is too short for this crap.

I’ve been married for 3 years. No children.

OMG. Leave today. This is a blessing. No kids = you can get a do over without baggage.

[Anonymous]

Have a family meeting to discuss this issue with him. Bottom line is it is not your fault he calls you names. That is a choice he is making.

Ask him to please stop calling you names. Ask him what you can do to facilitate that.

Let him know in no uncertain terms that you consider his name calling unacceptable and it is not something you can allow.

Also, just curious what a grown woman can do that is 'wrong'. Dropping the plate you mentioned in OP is not doing something wrong -- it's an accident.

To me doing something wrong would be doing drugs, having an affair, spending your retirement money on clothes, stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

I smell a troll.

[Anonymous]

Not a troll. Brit or Aussie.

[Anonymous]

No children makes it simple. He’s an ass, I would not tolerate this and sounds like you’ve put up with it way too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before you get a divorce you should at least tell him not to ever talk to you like that again. Stand up for yourself. See what he does.

He tells me that I’m the one who makes him resort to name calling. He always tells me he doesn’t like using that sort of language, but I’m the one who leads him to it.

How do I improve my marriage?

You don’t. Bail.