Sadness on kid’s birthday

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else experience this? Of course I would never express it to the child. Youngest kid is turning 6, and in addition to feeling time is going by too fast, I thought I’d have another child before now (unlikely you happen at this point). I’m trying to just enjoy him & his older sibling, but I do feel sad.

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP. I know what you mean.

[Anonymous]

I've felt sad off and on at various stages of my kids' lives.

[Anonymous]

Sad for what?

I know what you me a, but feeling sad because you didn’t have another child is on you. Yes, time flies, but you also need to co e to terms with your life as it is.

You’d “never express it”, but your child likely feels it. I know this, as my mother was like you. My birthday never had room for my celebration over her own grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sad for what?

I know what you me a, but feeling sad because you didn’t have another child is on you. Yes, time flies, but you also need to co e to terms with your life as it is.

You’d “never express it”, but your child likely feels it. I know this, as my mother was like you. My birthday never had room for my celebration over her own grief.

The point is that there is no "life as it is" when you have kids. They change all the time, and the milestones that point this out are poignant and sometimes painful.

I was just going to post something similar on the tweens and teens forum, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sad for what?

I know what you me a, but feeling sad because you didn’t have another child is on you. Yes, time flies, but you also need to co e to terms with your life as it is.

You’d “never express it”, but your child likely feels it. I know this, as my mother was like you. My birthday never had room for my celebration over her own grief.

with all due respect, you may be projecting a little bit. You have no idea how OP is with her kids and just because your mom couldn't feel sad and still be present for you doesn't mean OP is unable to. Parents are allowed to have feelings too.

[Anonymous]

WTF. Can we have at least ONE post on DCUM that doesn't have someone feeling the need to use the word...

PROJECTING.

I'm so sick of it and it is such a trite response.

[Anonymous]

Today is my DDs birthday, and yes I find them bittersweet. Her Dad died when she was 6 and thinking back to how the world was full of possibilities the day she was born and what a void his absence leaves for her, that’s hard. He would marvel at who she is today.
But I do remember even before he died that i felt a twinge if sadness at saying goodbye to stages of babyhood and childhood...and finding the next stage always made up for it. Seeing my kids become who they are has been awesome! Maybe you can focus on that aspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF. Can we have at least ONE post on DCUM that doesn't have someone feeling the need to use the word...

PROJECTING.

I'm so sick of it and it is such a trite response.

But appropriate in this case. Can we have ONE post without someone like you chiming in? If you're sick of it stop reading posts.

[Anonymous]

I think by age 6 I was over it but I remember feeling moments of grief as stages slipped by during DS' early years. And feeling sad about only having had one child is something many of us feel, at least from time to time.

(NO, I did not mean that every parent of an only regrets not having another.)

[Anonymous]

You’re blessed that you have a kid who is healthy, can grow and thrive normally. Appreciate what you have. Get a real problem. Many people would kill for what you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sad for what?

I know what you me a, but feeling sad because you didn’t have another child is on you. Yes, time flies, but you also need to co e to terms with your life as it is.

You’d “never express it”, but your child likely feels it. I know this, as my mother was like you. My birthday never had room for my celebration over her own grief.

with all due respect, you may be projecting a little bit. You have no idea how OP is with her kids and just because your mom couldn't feel sad and still be present for you doesn't mean OP is unable to. Parents are allowed to have feelings too.

Okay, but I also know that life is what it is, and there is no way you can change th cards you are dealt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re blessed that you have a kid who is healthy, can grow and thrive normally. Appreciate what you have. Get a real problem. Many people would kill for what you have.

It's not a problem. It's a normal part of life that comes and goes as kids grow up.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. Younger one is about to turn 6 and older one turns 13 today. They are both great kids but I'm ready for them to be 18.

[Anonymous]

So you already have two kids and you're sad that you don't have a third? Jesus, be grateful for what you have.