Private School Guilt

[Anonymous]

I am feeling guilty about considering private schools for DS. I am totally a "limousine" liberal. DS is a bright, happy, social child with loving parents who would probably do just as well in a good public (and there are many around here) as opposed to an exclusive private where most of the parents can afford to spend $25K+ annually on tuition. (Yes, yes, I know that the good public schools tend to be in the more expensive neighborhoods, nonetheless public schools do tend to be more diverse economically.) But, DH and I were lured by the presentations and tours. How could we not want such for DS, right? There is a part of me that would be relieved if DS doesn't get into a private school so that the decision to go public will be made for us. Anyone else feel this way?

[Anonymous]

get over it. send your child to the school with the best educational program. If you find a public school that offers comparable or better than what the privates offer, go for it. But with No Child Left Behind and Race for the Top, even the "best public schools" offer canned curricula, test prep, and an endless cycle of meaningless assessments such as DIEBELS, TRC, etc.

[Anonymous]

Don't feel guilty, but work for need-based vouchers so more children have the opportunity to attend their schools of choice. And for more immediate results, donate to your private school's scholarship fund. My wife and I do our best, but our kids would not be able to attend their schools if it weren't for the generosity of other families.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the laugh OP.

[Anonymous]

When you think about what a difference $25,000 would make in the lives of kids who have dirty water, low-quality medical care, and insufficient food, and compare that with the difference it will make for your child to go to a "good public" versus a private school, yes, it is ridiculous and guilt inducing. Maybe rightly? I recognize this but it's still hard to put into practice when it's your own children.

[Anonymous]

Here's my thinking. Guilt aside, for the tuition the privates charge, I'd want to be damn sure the education is better. From what I've heard from friends in various privates it really varies -- some are better than the publics the friends' kids would attend and some are not. If my private wasn't, I'd be out for that reason alone. But I understand your feelings on the guilt.

[Anonymous]

16:50... please. Need-based vouchers are a conservative policy proposal, which I'm betting the likes of OP would never support.

[Anonymous]

Send your kids to the school that best suits them.

[Anonymous]

Sending your children to a school that you are fortunate enough to be able to afford and which will give them an excellent rather than a more than adequate education is such a non-liberal thing to do. But if you feel guilty about it then it is okay ... feeling guilt absolves all.

Or you could just be pragmatic and do what is best for your child while continuing to support the public schools by paying your property taxes, voting yes for school bonds, buying wrapping paper from the neighborhood kids, and voting in elections for people you believe have the best ideas on how to improve education.

As an independent voter, I just do not understand why empathy is considered less worthy than guilt.

[Anonymous]

If you are already on the fence, I say go public. You will be constantly wondering whether private school is "worth it" and that will rub off on your child. I say this as as someone who has decided to go private and have committed to it.

[Anonymous]

I am also an independent voter and agree with 9:23's comments.

We spent many years in a very liberal school where so much energy and angst was put into trying to be PC. A phenomena with many families feeling guilty over what they had. I just don't understand why this is so - and why it has to be.

OP, do what is best for your child and family. Think of it this way - helping your child achieve may result in the child giving back to the community later in life. May be more able to give back if the education is exceptional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am also an independent voter and agree with 9:23's comments.

We spent many years in a very liberal school where so much energy and angst was put into trying to be PC. A phenomena with many families feeling guilty over what they had. I just don't understand why this is so - and why it has to be.

OP, do what is best for your child and family. Think of it this way - helping your child achieve may result in the child giving back to the community later in life. May be more able to give back if the education is exceptional.

I think the key words here are "very liberal school." Most fortunately, all privates are nothing like this.

[Anonymous]

I put my DC in an excellent private and am moving him to my local DCPS next year. While the school is lovely and he is doing well, the money spent is, quite frankly, not worth it. I would rather save for the middle school years than the basic numbers and letters now. Yes, yes, I know there is more to school than letters and numbers, but my child has no needs that predicate the kind of spending we are doing.

All that being said, if you have money to burn, and see your child on a certain "academic path", than go for it without apology. These schools employ good people, good families and provide a service, like any other business.

[Anonymous]

Private is better. But, if you have to ask -- you belong in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private is better. But, if you have to ask -- you belong in public.

You base this opinion on what?????

It's ignorant comments like this that give private school folks a bad (and undeserved) reputation.