Elderly grandfather driving your child?
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Anonymous
| How do you all feel about allowing an 80-year-old grandfather drive your son while on vacation in Florida? My teenage son is going to Florida to meet up with his grandparents and I just found out that his grandfather is picking him up at the airport and driving him on the 45 minute by highway drive. While the grandfather is healthy and only has a record of bashing his car in parking lots, he has a history of talking on his phone and generally being a pretty clueless person, exacerbated in my opinion, by his age. Would you say no to this? My DH will go to great lengths not to have conflicts with his parents, but I feel is putting this need above his son's safety. How would you handle? |
Anonymous
| Heck no. I have no idea how I'd handle. Is your son old enough to do the driving himself? Is he mature enough to make sure grandpa stays off his phone? Can he get an Uber under the guise of not inconveniencing grandpa? |
Anonymous
| Can your son drive? When my kids were 15 they had learners permits and were really good drivers. We encouraged the grandparents to let them practice while visiting. We coached it like they were doing us a favor by giving the kids experience. |
Anonymous
| In general, it would completely depend on the person. I don't let my father or FIL drive my kid, for completely different reasons. It is 100% reasonable to insist he not talk on the phone. But if the kid is going to FL to visit the grandparents, I think you’ve tacitly agreed that they can drive him around. I don’t envision a scenario where you successfully say “he can come visit, but you cannot drive him anywhere.” |
Anonymous
OP here: I completely hear you, but does it help to clarify that they don't live there? They all stay at a hotel near the downtown area and other than back and forth to the hotel, grandpa doesn't do much driving while down there. I'm almost okay with downtown streets that aren't at highway speeds. It's 45 minutes on the highway. I had assumed they would send a car for him, as that's what they usually do for themselves. Will be sharing feedback with DH. Thanks for the responses so far! |
Anonymous
| You should go visit grandpa, too. Of course they are going to be out driving around. I'm surprised that is just now dawning on you tbh. |
Anonymous
| My mom drove fine until age 85. |
Anonymous
| My opinion would be based on driving record, not age. My 80 year old MIL drives just fine and I would trust her. |
Anonymous
Most 80 year old people can only walk so far. The downtown area is probably very walkable but an elderly person is going to be limited by how far they can actually walk. Your FIL might be driving around more than you realize and it sounds as though that includes city and highway driving. You should go and visit him to see for yourself. I think that sounds like a lot for a teenager to deal with by himself. |
Anonymous
I’d pick an 80 year old driver over a 15 year old driver, all other things being equal! Insurance companies base their rates on statistical likelihood of accidents, and they agree with me. |
Anonymous
I read somewhere that by the age of 85, 55% of men are still driving but only 22% of women are still driving. That statistic really surprised me because women tend to outlive men and often become their caregivers to their husbands in old age. |
Anonymous
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You and your husband need to tell Grandpa to drive more carefully and never ever touch his phone while driving, or do anything else similarly distracting. The teen will report any ill advised behavior. |
Anonymous
He's 80. The time for that conversation was about 64 years ago. |
Anonymous
| He’s going to drive around town and for my parents, the regular roads and stop lights are getting more dangerous than highways. I yelled at my dad the last time for not paying attention and looking both ways when turning or trying to speed through to make it through a light. My mom won’t drive anymore and she’s younger. I told him I will report him for reckless driving if it continues. Not sure it helps or if I can. I don’t have good advice for you. Older parents are difficult. You can arrange a car but that’s doesn’t solve the day to day driving. |
Anonymous
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City driving is complicated by all the pedestrians and bicyclists. We were driving in the city a few weeks ago and saw a car turn into the path of a bicyclist who couldn't stop in time and ran into the car, flipping him off his bike and onto the street. The driver was a middle age woman who simply didn't see the bike coming. Thank God the bike rider wasn't injured. He got right back on his bike and rode away.
The traffic around a busy airport can also be more tricky. |