Elderly grandfather driving your child?

[Anonymous]

NO
You just found out his Grandfather is picking him up
Who else did you think was going to be picking him up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general, it would completely depend on the person. I don't let my father or FIL drive my kid, for completely different reasons. It is 100% reasonable to insist he not talk on the phone. But if the kid is going to FL to visit the grandparents, I think you’ve tacitly agreed that they can drive him around. I don’t envision a scenario where you successfully say “he can come visit, but you cannot drive him anywhere.”

OP here: I completely hear you, but does it help to clarify that they don't live there? They all stay at a hotel near the downtown area and other than back and forth to the hotel, grandpa doesn't do much driving while down there. I'm almost okay with downtown streets that aren't at highway speeds. It's 45 minutes on the highway. I had assumed they would send a car for him, as that's what they usually do for themselves. Will be sharing feedback with DH. Thanks for the responses so far!

I’m the pp above. Yes, it does make a difference — at least to me. I would arrange the car service and call it your treat to make everything easier “for everyone”.

[Anonymous]

I remember my grandma driving us as teens/young adults. She wouldn't let us drive. It was an interesting experience to say the least. I wouldn't encourage it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general, it would completely depend on the person. I don't let my father or FIL drive my kid, for completely different reasons. It is 100% reasonable to insist he not talk on the phone. But if the kid is going to FL to visit the grandparents, I think you’ve tacitly agreed that they can drive him around. I don’t envision a scenario where you successfully say “he can come visit, but you cannot drive him anywhere.”

OP here: I completely hear you, but does it help to clarify that they don't live there? They all stay at a hotel near the downtown area and other than back and forth to the hotel, grandpa doesn't do much driving while down there. I'm almost okay with downtown streets that aren't at highway speeds. It's 45 minutes on the highway. I had assumed they would send a car for him, as that's what they usually do for themselves. Will be sharing feedback with DH. Thanks for the responses so far!

I’m the pp above. Yes, it does make a difference — at least to me. I would arrange the car service and call it your treat to make everything easier “for everyone”.

OP again. Thanks again everyone. Just bumping up my last response to clarify that this didn't "just dawn on me," but rather, they often use a car service, especially at night and when travelling. I don't know why they're choosing not to this time. As to the advice to visit him, I don't have to, they leave here in D.C. And I know how out of it he can be.

[Anonymous]

Offer to get them a car/cab. Don’t offer, announce that you’ve arranged it. You’ll have to pay to get grandfather to the airport too, to meet your son, but it sounds worth it to you.

That said, some 80-year-olds are perfectly fine drivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can your son drive? When my kids were 15 they had learners permits and were really good drivers. We encouraged the grandparents to let them practice while visiting. We coached it like they were doing us a favor by giving the kids experience.

A 15 year old fresh driver in the new big city and airport traffic? NO.
Both options are bad.
I would tell the grandpa that the transportation has been arranged for
and would schedule local airport shuttle van.

[Anonymous]

Have a son take earlier flight and surprise them three hours later before grandpa
gets to t he airport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general, it would completely depend on the person. I don't let my father or FIL drive my kid, for completely different reasons. It is 100% reasonable to insist he not talk on the phone. But if the kid is going to FL to visit the grandparents, I think you’ve tacitly agreed that they can drive him around. I don’t envision a scenario where you successfully say “he can come visit, but you cannot drive him anywhere.”

OP here: I completely hear you, but does it help to clarify that they don't live there? They all stay at a hotel near the downtown area and other than back and forth to the hotel, grandpa doesn't do much driving while down there. I'm almost okay with downtown streets that aren't at highway speeds. It's 45 minutes on the highway. I had assumed they would send a car for him, as that's what they usually do for themselves. Will be sharing feedback with DH. Thanks for the responses so far!

I’m the pp above. Yes, it does make a difference — at least to me. I would arrange the car service and call it your treat to make everything easier “for everyone”.

OP again. Thanks again everyone. Just bumping up my last response to clarify that this didn't "just dawn on me," but rather, they often use a car service, especially at night and when travelling. I don't know why they're choosing not to this time. As to the advice to visit him, I don't have to, they leave here in D.C. And I know how out of it he can be.

So your ILs are snow birds who live in both DC and Florida? Just trying to understand why the IL's are in a hotel in Florida.