Horror movies for 4yo
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Anonymous
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DH thinks I’m way overprotective, I think DH is lacking some basic common sense when it comes to deciding what’s appropriate for a young child. We’ve fought over this.
He has shown our 4yo son poltergeist 1 and 2, and other movies along the same lines. He also wants to introduce him to LOTR. Our son is scared to be by himself, clings to me like a shadow, and can’t go to bed alone. He says he’s too scared. It’s obvious to me that he shouldn’t have watched those things and now our son is the most anxious little kid. How to convince DH that he’s wrong, and how do I undo the damage? |
Anonymous
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Omg! I guess I can’t judge too much though. I’ve shown my 4 yo Star Wars.
I think as long as the kid understands it’s just pretend there shouldn’t be any lasting damage |
Anonymous
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Are you serious? That's horrible. My son is 8 and not even ready for Harry Potter.
I wish I had answers for you. Maybe show him movie reviews on Common Sense Media? |
Anonymous
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Your DH is a piece of work.
I would make him deal with the kid each and every single time he's scared. Get him to lay with the child every single night to comfort him until he falls asleep. Ridiculous. |
Anonymous
Star Wars is not a horror movie or in any way comparable to Poltergeist. I think this is probably a troll post because I can't believe any parent would seriously think it is a good idea to show a 4 year old Poltergeist - seriously - why? Did you run out of movie ideas? |
Anonymous
| I saw the exorcist when I was 5 and it messed me up! |
Anonymous
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Op here and I wish I were making this up, but it’s true. And I’m made out to be the crazy overprotective parent in my family who “never lets the kids do anything fun”.
The thing is, my son will beg for these movies even though he gets scared, so that’s DH’s argument. Because he said he wanted to watch it, it’s ok. But now he’s impossible because he can’t be left alone anywhere in the house for a second, he makes me come with him. I stay home with him so it just makes my job harder and I feel bad because he really is scared. He’s already seen all the Harry Potter movies. And the worst is actually the spooky stories just before bed- DH played him these spooky podcasts- meant for much older kids and adults, right before bed, and he was a mess that night. The stories are worse because I think his imagination is worse than a movie. DH absolutely loves horror and dark fantasies, they’re his favorite genre and so does our older child. Coincidentally they are also both stubborn as hell. He absolutely hates things like Disney movies, and considers them unwatchable and more damaging to a child then any horror movie. Knowing how my son is now, I wish I had just held my ground, even though it would have meant more fighting. This is just one facet of a larger problem, and honestly I have to be so choosy in picking my battles. So other than making DH stay wi th Him at night, how do I help my son with his anxiety? |
Anonymous
| Family counseling, NOW!!! |
Anonymous
+100 Your idiot family who say you are no fun will also mock you when DH Taika to them about your insistence on counseling. You'll have to be strong, OP. But you yourself said it: "This is just one facet of a bigger problem and I have to be so choosy about picking my battles." THAT is the real issue, not only the horror and fantasy movies and podcasts. Your "stubborn" DH is doing actual damage not only by not knowing OR CARING about the idea of "age-appropriate" but also by ensuring his wife has to walk on eggshells all the time and has to live life "choosing battles" lest she set off his...anger? Mockery? Disregard for your knowledge as a parent and agency as an adult? All of those, OP? He sounds like a man-child who has bonded with your older child over fantasy and horror so he is rushing to push younger child there too because dad cannot or will not see younger child as a kid barely in preschool age. And the treatment of you is not the treatment one gives a thinking, intelligent partner. When you have that "it's counseling and it's not negotiable" talk, I guarantee he will make it only about your uprightness re: movies and books. YOU see that the issue is larger and deeper and is between you and him, not between you and what he will insist is your tightass hatred of "his" interests. See the forest here, not the trees. The real problem, not the symptom. This is about his own self-centeredness and your marriage's imbalance (because you are tiptoeing around the person with whom you should be most relaxed). Professional help, starting immediatrly. Go alone if he refuses. Meanwhile for short-term backup I'd get my pediatrician to call us both in and say shed noticed our child was super anxious and clingy and talking about horror stories. But our ped would do that if I asked her to and primed her with the problem in advance them asked her not to out me as setting up the talk. It's a subterfuge but seriously, your DH sure as hell won't hear this from you right now. Oh, and LOTR films are great but not for kids. Beheadings, skewerings, horrific looking creatures. Hard, hard no. |
Anonymous
| Omg. I don’t even know what to say except that I cannot believe that you even LET him put these movies on for your kid. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s borderline abuse. Not abuse but approaching that line. (Star Wars is not close to that line) |
Anonymous
| I have a friend who worked intake in the preadolescent wing of a mental health clinic and she said the theme she noticed among these kids, that were mostly under 12, was that they were all scared of horror movie villains. Penny wise, jason, chucky etc. These children had all been exposed to these movies at such young ages. Obviously that doesn’t mean the movies caused these children’s mental illness but I have to feel it contributed to the fact. |
Anonymous
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I really hope this is a troll.
If not: your husband is an idiot and doing this to an anxious child is a form of emotional abuse. Family therapy yesterday and start saving up now for drug treatment. You may say I’m crazy, but a kid who has not been taught how to self-soothe and can’t get help from his parents is going to take the first available chemical option for achieving calm. It will be earlier, more intense, and more intractable than “normal” experimentation. Good luck. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Tell your dh that the counselor will be the “tie breaker”
And pretend you think it’s possible the counselor will support him and call you over protective. I’d be really hesitant to trust someone like that, which means I’d be thinking about ending the relationship but that’s just me and my kids safety and mental health are more important than anything to me. |