Small Boys Advice

[Anonymous]

I am the mom of two boys 3 and 1. Both are going to be shorter, likely about 5’5” or so. I’m slightly worried about how this may impact them, but don’t know if I’m overthinking it or not. What have the experiences of other parents been who have raised smaller boys? Has it impacted social relationships, dating in later years? Did the boys get teased? Any advice or tips on how to deal with potential issues that might come up are appreciated. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

My best friend is engaged to a guy who is 5'4". She's 5'6". Everyone loves this guy. Her friends, her family, his friends, his coworkers, her coworkers. Everyone.

Being short is a problem if you have a hangup about it.

[Anonymous]

Teach him that being shorter does not make him less of a man.

[Anonymous]

I will keep it real for you.

It's tough for them. It's easier if you have a small boy who is naturally athletic and/or has a lot of personality/charisma. If you have a shy/quiet small boy, the middle and high school years could be tough.

The real bottom line is what are you going to do about it? You can't change it. Worrying about it now when they're 3 and 1 is a complete waste of your mental energy.

If and when they come home and start sharing concerns with you or things other kids have said, you just say people come in all kinds of packages and this is the one you have so make the best of it. Everyone has something they might not love about themselves. But your kid will have amazing things that make him who he is. And then talk about some of the great qualities your child will surely have.

[Anonymous]

PP gave you great advice.

I'm still in the thick of it, but I have two smaller sons, one who is extremely small but athletic and the other who small and not athletic. My experience has been that my athletic son's small stature made him a standout when he was young, because I people always noticed him and his ability. However, it became a big problem in middle school, much more so than I was expecting. When other boys reached puberty and he didn't, he feel behind athletically. It hit him like a ton of bricks and made him doubt himself in every area of his life. We probably could have done more to have kept him in a more healthy sporting environment, because that was a difficult time.

My other son, whose confidence depends less on athletic endeavors, has never had an issue with his smaller stature.

Just encourage them to be the best they can be and keep an eye out for problems.

[Anonymous]

I am 4' 10" & DH is 6' 1". I think if our kids are short, then it is all because of me. I have a girl & a boy. I am not worried about my girl since she is an awesome eater. I am more worried about my boy because he is a picky eater.

[Anonymous]

The smallest kid in DS's K class is the best athlete. He's fast. I wouldn't worry about it at least until HS OP.

[Anonymous]

My brother was a small child and only grew to 5'5 as an adult. Grades 5-8 were probably the hardest for him, but those years are pretty terrible for everyone thanks to puberty. He had glasses and braces, which did not help matters, but he has a very quick wit. Other kids learned quickly that if they made fun of him, he would have a brutal snarky comeback for them. He also had a good group of friends thanks to sports teams and was very athletic. I agree with pp, that being athletic definitely makes things easier.

He is married to a woman an inch taller than him, and as far as I know, his height was not an issue past middle school.

[Anonymous]

Op here, thanks all for your perspectives and advice! Good to know about the variety of experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP gave you great advice.

I'm still in the thick of it, but I have two smaller sons, one who is extremely small but athletic and the other who small and not athletic. My experience has been that my athletic son's small stature made him a standout when he was young, because I people always noticed him and his ability. However, it became a big problem in middle school, much more so than I was expecting. When other boys reached puberty and he didn't, he feel behind athletically. It hit him like a ton of bricks and made him doubt himself in every area of his life. We probably could have done more to have kept him in a more healthy sporting environment, because that was a difficult time.

My other son, whose confidence depends less on athletic endeavors, has never had an issue with his smaller stature.

Just encourage them to be the best they can be and keep an eye out for problems.

I have seen this with some of DH's friends. The kids who are successful in sports pre-puberty vs post-puberty are often not the same kids. So if that was your child's identity and then your kid gets boxed out because of size, it's tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP gave you great advice.

I'm still in the thick of it, but I have two smaller sons, one who is extremely small but athletic and the other who small and not athletic. My experience has been that my athletic son's small stature made him a standout when he was young, because I people always noticed him and his ability. However, it became a big problem in middle school, much more so than I was expecting. When other boys reached puberty and he didn't, he feel behind athletically. It hit him like a ton of bricks and made him doubt himself in every area of his life. We probably could have done more to have kept him in a more healthy sporting environment, because that was a difficult time.

My other son, whose confidence depends less on athletic endeavors, has never had an issue with his smaller stature.

Just encourage them to be the best they can be and keep an eye out for problems.

I have seen this with some of' DHs friends. The kids who are successful in sports pre-puberty vs post-puberty are often not the same kids. So if that was your child's identity and then your kid gets boxed out because of size, it's tough.

DS! Not DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP gave you great advice.

I'm still in the thick of it, but I have two smaller sons, one who is extremely small but athletic and the other who small and not athletic. My experience has been that my athletic son's small stature made him a standout when he was young, because I people always noticed him and his ability. However, it became a big problem in middle school, much more so than I was expecting. When other boys reached puberty and he didn't, he feel behind athletically. It hit him like a ton of bricks and made him doubt himself in every area of his life. We probably could have done more to have kept him in a more healthy sporting environment, because that was a difficult time.

My other son, whose confidence depends less on athletic endeavors, has never had an issue with his smaller stature.

Just encourage them to be the best they can be and keep an eye out for problems.

I have seen this with some of DH's friends. The kids who are successful in sports pre-puberty vs post-puberty are often not the same kids. So if that was your child's identity and then your kid gets boxed out because of size, it's tough.

Yes, in this situation, you need to encourage your late bloomer to persist. Better yet, start early emphasizing work and effort over talen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP gave you great advice.

I'm still in the thick of it, but I have two smaller sons, one who is extremely small but athletic and the other who small and not athletic. My experience has been that my athletic son's small stature made him a standout when he was young, because I people always noticed him and his ability. However, it became a big problem in middle school, much more so than I was expecting. When other boys reached puberty and he didn't, he feel behind athletically. It hit him like a ton of bricks and made him doubt himself in every area of his life. We probably could have done more to have kept him in a more healthy sporting environment, because that was a difficult time.

My other son, whose confidence depends less on athletic endeavors, has never had an issue with his smaller stature.

Just encourage them to be the best they can be and keep an eye out for problems.

I have seen this with some of DH's friends. The kids who are successful in sports pre-puberty vs post-puberty are often not the same kids. So if that was your child's identity and then your kid gets boxed out because of size, it's tough.

Yes, in this situation, you need to encourage your late bloomer to persist. Better yet, start early emphasizing work and effort over talen.

It's not a late bloomer situation. Some kids are not going to be big enough to compete in some sports. It's facts. I would channel smaller boys to different sports personally.

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. Depends on the sport and on when they hit their growth spurt. If you are full grown in 8th grade, then yes, it isn't a late bloomer situation. But if you don't reach your full height until high school, the disparity is even more discouraging.

Channeling a smaller boy into certain sports is one way to go. Gymnastics comes to mind.

On the other hand, there are plenty of successful smaller soccer players. However, if your child doesn't grow to full height of 5'6 until 4 years after other boys have reached 5'10 or above, it is tough.

[Anonymous]

It is their size. It’s what they do with it.