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Birthday Party etiquette
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Anonymous
| No. |
Anonymous
| I've been to a couple of these, but new ahead of time (from experience) that we would paying for ourselves. |
Anonymous
| That's appalling. |
Anonymous
| It should have been specified in invitation. Like the PP, I find it appalling that you were presented with your own tab. |
Anonymous
|
I have been "invited" to a few of these (should probably be, "asked to attend," more like a conference).
After the 1st time, you're on notice that paying for your own food is a possibility, and you have to decide if you feel comfortable inquiring about that up front in the future. |
hellojello
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| Well, I would say "it depends".... If this was a child's birthday then I'd say, "how unusual!" But if it was a friend's birthday, I'd say, it's the norm to go out for a birthday dinner and have everyone pay their own check AND cover the birthday person's meal. But I would also say these kinds of dinners are not usually thrown by the birthday person him/herself, but by another friend. Does that make sense? |
Anonymous
| I agree with the PP. I have done several birthday and other special events dinners with friennds and always pay my own bill and sometime chip for for the birthday girl/boy. In fact whevener I get an invite for an (adult) event that is at a restuarant I always assumed that I will have to pay. Of course, I never bring a gift and other than a card, I do not recall seeing anyone else bring a gift. |
maynie
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| When it's birthday dinners with my friends, we all pay our own tabs and chip in to cover the birthday girl/boy. This isn't the same as someone hosting a party. I even went to a baby shower at a restaurant and the invite said to bring a certain amount to cover the meal. Kind of tacky but I didn't mind because I knew in advance what to expect. |
Anonymous
Agree with this PP. I've been to several of these. A few closer friends bring smallish gifts. |
Anonymous
Okay, this is just tacky! So I "invite" you to come celebrate my birthday, and then you have to pay? No, not typical, at least in my social circle. Now the other kind, where a friend of the b'day person says, "hey, everyone, let's take X out to celebrate her birthday"--I would assume I was paying my own way and chipping in for the B'day girl. |
Anonymous
| The host is TACKY! I have only been to one event where the guests had to pay and it was noted on the invitation that it will cost X per person. It was a pricey brunch, but at least we knew ahead of time. |
Anonymous
Completely agree! |
Anonymous
I also agree with this. I'm not sure if I have been invited to a birthday celebration (even by birthday person) at a restaurant where I didn't pay my dinner + birthday girl/boy. |
Anonymous
|
We attend this kind of event all of the time. Evite is just a form of organization/notification, its not an engraved Crane's invitation. It would be awfully expensive to pay for even a modest dinner for 10+ people. Also, as adults we don't exchange actual birthday gifts except for extremely close friends and family, and those gifts are usually given in private.
I agree that its totally different for children, but those are seldom at a restaurant. |
Anonymous
|
I gotta back this up also....this seems very normal to me. We always pay for ourselves if it's a dinner. We don't pay for ourselves if it's a party at a specified location, but if it's "Hey everyone, let's go to dinner!" yeah....you pay for yourself and usually the birthday person, but as the birthday person you can not expect your guests to pay for you. I actually went to a dinner like this for a friend of mine a few weeks ago and she chose the Melting Pot, which can get very expensive, and we're watching our spending right now, so I told her flat out "We can't afford that." I was comfortable because I've known her since Middle School. I wouldn't say anything for most people. She said we'd only get appetizers and dessert, but then we didn't and I ended up eating the side dishes. Ugh. At least they didn't make us evenly split the bill. Now, and evenly split bill between someone who had a salad and someone who had an entree and 2 drinks is what really gets to me.
What I actually am not a fan of is the Potluck Party. I don't mind that much if the hosts provide food anyway, but showing up to someone's house with a dish instead of a gift is like "Oh, I knew you were going to bring a gift anyway, so just bring a dish instead". A dish for 40 people can get pricey and I think it's like writing an invitation that says "Please bring a gift". I don't know why that bothers me and this doesn't. It's fundamentally the same thing, huh? Whatever. I like parties even if I have to pay for myself and bring a dish! |