No Man's Land Between Dating and a Booty Call

[Anonymous]

So, I've been spending time with a guy for the last six weeks. We met IRL and he took my number. Went on first date and there was chemistry I have never experienced in my 50 years. He is 58. Within minutes of arriving at our venue, we could not keep our hands off each other. It was surreal. There seemed to be a mental/emotional connection as well. He asked alot of questions about my life. Date ended with passionate kissing. 3 days later went on another date and got intimate. Blew my mind. Never thought anybody could have this passion toward me at this age nor I toward them. We continue to see each other but only once or twice a week. He still takes me to dinner, holds my hand in public. Says he only sees one woman at a time. Of course, who knows? I've been pretty over anxious and expressed my concerns in very undiplomatic ways. Most guys would probably have run but he always makes things right. Can great sex really blind people (men and women) to what is really going on? I have never experienced what is happening right now. It's like the sex is so great, how could love ever come from that?

[Anonymous]

What? What is your question?

[Anonymous]

You get to establish terms if you really care. If not, enjoy the no man’s land.

[Anonymous]

What are you looking for? I'm a couple of years older than you, and at this phase in my life I'm also okay with "either/or". I wouldn't mind getting married again, but I've had my children and am open to a variety of relationships that are just for me and they don't have to be forever. So as long as you're enjoying what's going on, roll with it. If you don't like the kind of relationship you're having with this guy, move on.

[Anonymous]

No Man's Land might be worth it. I'm just overwhelmed. I have never experienced sex like this and find it very hard to reconcile that love can include hot sex. Because it's never happened to me before. I had no idea what I was missing out on. I mean, I know we're not at love but it could go there. I've only ever had "good enough" sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you looking for? I'm a couple of years older than you, and at this phase in my life I'm also okay with "either/or". I wouldn't mind getting married again, but I've had my children and am open to a variety of relationships that are just for me and they don't have to be forever. So as long as you're enjoying what's going on, roll with it. If you don't like the kind of relationship you're having with this guy, move on.

He's very respectful and kind. Says he wants to get to know me me better. I understand it could all be lies. I don't believe that it is lies. There is just so much advice out there. Some of it says that if a guy is interested he will be with you all the time. Some advice says smart people go slower. I am just used to a guy being all in at the very beginning but that hasn't worked out so maybe this way is better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? What is your question?

Not OP
The last sentence is the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What? What is your question?

Not OP
The last sentence is the question.

Figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Take your time slow down and see what comes out of this.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy the sex. It will become clear as time passes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy the sex. It will become clear as time passes.

This right here.

[Anonymous]

Why is this no man's land? You are dating and holding hands in public. You are having great sex.

Enjoy this. You ARE dating. You may or may not be exclusive, so keep it safe until you are and get tested.

Sounds wonderful, OP!!!

And yes, great sex can lead into love.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a somewhat similar boat - 53 and very surprised to be in a new relationship with sex that is off the charts wonderful. But I'm financially independent and enjoy my single life and taking it to the next level is not something I'm thinking about other than being exclusive. If we see each other a couple of times a week and we are exclusive I don't care if it's dating or a booty call.

[Anonymous]

If you are going out to dinner (ie real dates), it is more than a booty call.

It will grow or it will end...but for now try very hard to live in the moment. Read about mindfulness if you don't know it.

You have been given a gift that many people your age don't have. It must feel particularly disorienting because you went this far into your life without experiencing great sex. BONUS!

Just don't confuse passion and love...but if the latter also follows, double bonus.

Try to be happy instead of scared. Most people would envy what you have right now. As another older woman, I say: You go girl!!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for giving me hope for my 50's! Dating is already so weird in my 40's. Isn't it nice to know there is still great passion ahead of you?

Enjoy!! Sounds like early stage dating to me, with a huge bonus of great sex.