Struggling

[Anonymous]

We've only been married 2.5 years (have been together 7 years total). We are both in our mid 30s. We have no children and don't plan on having any. I haven't gained weight, and neither of us has experienced any major stress or changes in our lives over the past few years.

And yet, DH seems to have completely lost interest in me romantically and sexually. I've always had a higher sex drive than his, but he used to at least put in effort to keep me happy in bed. Before marriage we usually had sex 2-3 times per week. Almost as soon as we tied the knot it decreased to about once per week, and over the past year it's been about once every 3 weeks, and even then it only happens when I push for it.

I've tried many ways to entice him, like wearing new lingerie, giving him a sensual back rub, watching porn together, and offered to act out any of his fantasies. He always says he is too tired or not in the mood, and when he finally does have sex with me, it's after weeks of me asking for it, and he seems to do it basically to get me to shut up about it.

Additionally, he rarely wants to be close or affectionate with me. When I try to snuggle on the couch while we watch TV he says he's not comfortable and when I suggest that we move around so he can get comfortable he says "I am comfortable, just not when you lay on me."

When I try to talk to him about why he is acting this way he insists there isn't a problem and he's just stressed and/or tired. I make more money than he does and I also work significantly longer hours, though I suppose the stress level of our jobs is similar. I've asked him about counseling, either together or just for himself, and he is adamantly against it. FWIW I feel pretty confident that he's not cheating on me; I think it's some combination of him getting bored of me and our routine, struggling with depression, low sex drive, etc.

Those issues have been going on for a while, and getting much worse over the past year or so.

Then last week, at a happy hour networking event I attended with a work colleague, I met a man who really piqued my interest; the first time my interest has been piqued by a man since I met DH almost 8 years ago. We chatted at the event and then met up for a drink the following night. So far it's all been very innocent; literally just talking (and even the talking itself has been innocent), but I am struggling to convince myself as to why I should keep things so innocent when DH obviously isn't interested in keeping me happy sexually.

[Anonymous]

Because you are married!!! Get divorced if it’s over but cheating is just wrong.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your husband about your needs.

Buy a vibrator in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

If no kids, divorce. You will cheat.

And he can remarry my wife, once every three weeks would be a lot for her.

Call me. Like most men, I am good to go when you are

[Anonymous]

My husband and I were going on our second year of marriage and feeling bla. We are late 30's with our own kids, but I have full custody of my 3 and DHs son lives with his mom.

We have decided to Live Apart Together (LAT) and its been great. He's an Aquarius and I a Gemini and we both love our freedom and independence but love each other dearly.

Three months into the LAT relationship and its been going great!

[Anonymous]

PP here, no cheating involved we're just use to living on our own.

He's right up the street, 3 miles away.

[Anonymous]

How would be feel if you asked to open the marriage?

[Anonymous]

OP, you just want to cheat
All this story is just you wanting to cheat

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my X. Found out years later he’s a AWD addict- lies of masturbation then affairs.

[Anonymous]

PP - meant sex addict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I were going on our second year of marriage and feeling bla. We are late 30's with our own kids, but I have full custody of my 3 and DHs son lives with his mom.

We have decided to Live Apart Together (LAT) and its been great. He's an Aquarius and I a Gemini and we both love our freedom and independence but love each other dearly.

Three months into the LAT relationship and its been going great!

What is that?

[Anonymous]

If he's against therapy then it's pretty much over. Give him an ultimatum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I were going on our second year of marriage and feeling bla. We are late 30's with our own kids, but I have full custody of my 3 and DHs son lives with his mom.

We have decided to Live Apart Together (LAT) and its been great. He's an Aquarius and I a Gemini and we both love our freedom and independence but love each other dearly.

Three months into the LAT relationship and its been going great!

What is that?

Its a too scared to divorce combined with low sex drives kinda relationship.

[Anonymous]

Could he be gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I were going on our second year of marriage and feeling bla. We are late 30's with our own kids, but I have full custody of my 3 and DHs son lives with his mom.

We have decided to Live Apart Together (LAT) and its been great. He's an Aquarius and I a Gemini and we both love our freedom and independence but love each other dearly.

Three months into the LAT relationship and its been going great!

What is that?

Its a too scared to divorce combined with low sex drives kinda relationship.

No hun. Educate yourself.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/sep/23/never-lived-together-married-couples-live-apart