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Infertility Support and Discussion
If you are infertile maybe it means you shouldn't have kids??
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Anonymous
| Seriously maybe I would give birth to a Hitler character and that's why God doesn't let it happen for me. anyone ever feel this way? |
Anonymous
| I grappled with it after my fertile myrtle sister-in-law said maybe God didn't want me to have kids. |
Anonymous
|
Bah!
If I were to even contemplate that there would be a specific reason why a person who wanted to be a mom was created such that she could not conceive or carry a child of her own, it would be that she must be so awesome that God wants her to be mom to some special child born to another person who can't properly care for him/her. Or something along those lines. |
Anonymous
| 13:42 I'd find it hard to be on speaking terms with her after that, WOW. |
Anonymous
What a cruel thing to say. I'm sorry you had to hear it. |
Anonymous
|
I am the one with the clueless sis-in-law. It did hurt tremendously, and our relationship has never been the same. Fortunately, after years of struggle, we were able to conceive via ivf. To this day, though, I don't want her anywhere near my family.
As a somewhat humorous follow-up, when same bil and sil found out they were expecting #2, bil said to my husband that they "really struggled with this one. It took six months." So obviously, a village somwhere lost two idiots. FWIW, when I finally thought through the whole what does infertility mean about me I came to this conclusion: I think if you are infertile, God just has a different plan for you -maybe as an adoptive parent, maybe as a childless person who helps forgotten children...there are so many different ways. But know that you are not alone in your struggle and contemplation. |
Anonymous
| I don't ever let myself think that. If I had cancer, would I not seek treatment because I should die? Infertility is a health issue, and it means nothing about your a woman's ability or expectation about being a wonderful mother. If anything, the stress of infertility (and even bringing some marriages closer together through such difficulty) will make someone a more patient parent! |
Anonymous
|
OP here thanks for your insight, I feel better...Certainly there are people who are seem unable to handle having kids yet have no problem conceiving. It's just that when you are in the midst of hoping for a baby some cruel thoughts enter your mind. It helps to know I'm not alone.
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Anonymous
hahaha. Are you for real? |
Anonymous
| Well maybe the world needs anther super villain for population control. |
Anonymous
Maybe Hitler wouldn't have turned out to be such an animal if he had a mother like you. |
Anonymous
|
I wouldn't worry about this too much.
I don't think it means anything except that some people have to work a little harder for it, and often appreciate the end result a lot more than people who didn't work for it. Especially the people who got oopses. Plenty of unhealthy children, and plenty of children who will grow up to evil people are born each day. I doubt any more of them are from infertility treatments than would be found in the normal population percentage wise. Possibly less. |
Anonymous
| I think all thoughtful people struggle with parenthood, wonder if we deserve our kids when they're angels, or don't deserve them when they're not. For me, in struggling with infertility, I sometimes thought I didn't deserve to be a parent, some sort of self-flagelation involving God's will, my anxiety, and guilt over my issues that made being in a relationship with me difficult. Every child is a blessing (even Hitler, b/c as a child, there was potential), every parent should feel blessed with that child. Stp beating yourself up, realize no parent is perfect, and you're going to be the best possible parent to a child. However that child comes to you. If fertilty meant someone was a good parent, there would be no adoption, no parent who molests or beats their child, etc. Being fertile means you and your partner are able to conceive, that's it. Parenthood is a totally different manner. So, again: stop feeling sorry for yourself and start figuring out how you're going to get to parenthood. |
Anonymous
|
Some people who shouldn't have children do, we can all agree on that. Does that mean God "wanted" those people to have children so they could abuse or neglect them?
What God intends is too complex a question. Fertility issues just cannot be a sign of his desires. |
Anonymous
| For my husband and me only, we decided that because we both had fertility issues, we were not meant to become parents through biological means. So we happily adopted. But I certainly wouldn't infer anyone's fitness to become parents just b/c of infertility. |