ILs giving us money

[Anonymous]

I feel like an anonymous forum is the place to vent about this or be put in my place. Each year, sometimes multiple times a year, my ILs give us a substantial chunk of change - in the tens of thousands -- as their way to avoid a higher tax burden (keep in mind they purport to be serious Dems) calling it a "gift" or "donation" to us. They don't ask, just transfer the money. As someone who always worked really hard to become a financial stable person, I get annoyed by this (and don't feel like it's "my" money). Is that stupid of me to complain about free money?

[Anonymous]

Would you feel differently if you inherited money after they died?

Because that is all they are really doing - giving your family the inheritance you will receive but doing it in a way that minimizes the tax hit. It's actually very smart financial decision.

Try to look at it that way, not as a reflection of a judgment of your financial achievement or independence.

[Anonymous]

New bank account. They can't just transfer it if they don't know your info. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

JFC. You poor, poor thing. Donate it then. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Yes its crazy, be happy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like an anonymous forum is the place to vent about this or be put in my place. Each year, sometimes multiple times a year, my ILs give us a substantial chunk of change - in the tens of thousands -- as their way to avoid a higher tax burden (keep in mind they purport to be serious Dems) calling it a "gift" or "donation" to us. They don't ask, just transfer the money. As someone who always worked really hard to become a financial stable person, I get annoyed by this (and don't feel like it's "my" money). Is that stupid of me to complain about free money?

Unless you're a charity, they giving to you doesn't help their tax burden, and in fact adds to it because once they exceed a certain amount they have to pay a gift tax.

You have no idea what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

You can give it to me. I don't mind, really.

[Anonymous]

I am happy to give you my account information and relieve you of this burden OP.

I get being annoyed at them doing this without talking to you, but I would set the money aside for things like special vacations or your kids college funds. Now, if your in-laws feel like they can demand things from you and your family because of these gifts, that’s another story. But if they’re not attaching strings, try to enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Give me an email address and I will private message you my account and routing number. You can tell your in-laws you got a new account. Problem solved. Money will go to me instead of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like an anonymous forum is the place to vent about this or be put in my place. Each year, sometimes multiple times a year, my ILs give us a substantial chunk of change - in the tens of thousands -- as their way to avoid a higher tax burden (keep in mind they purport to be serious Dems) calling it a "gift" or "donation" to us. They don't ask, just transfer the money. As someone who always worked really hard to become a financial stable person, I get annoyed by this (and don't feel like it's "my" money). Is that stupid of me to complain about free money?

Unless you're a charity, they giving to you doesn't help their tax burden, and in fact adds to it because once they exceed a certain amount they have to pay a gift tax.

You have no idea what you're talking about.

A couple can effectively transfer $60k a year to another couple without counting towards their lifetime exemption. It does in fact help their tax burden. You have no idea what you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

You must be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Of all the inlaw problems to complain about!

Do they ask how you use it? Do they care? Are they financially solvent themselves?

Basically, if there are no strings attached, who cares?! Don't become dependent on it. Use it pay down debt, or take a fancy vacation, or put in your kid's 529s.

[Anonymous]

Their gifts don’t negate your hard work and independence.

It’s presumptuous of them and I’d consider it crossing a boundary for them to transfer the money without at least a heads up. I wouldn’t expect them to ask permission to give a gift, but to mess with my bank account, yeah, I’d like to have a say in that.

You sound very privileged to be able to complain about receiving large amounts of money. Most people don’t have such fortuitous problems.

[Anonymous]

if only there were a place to put unneeded money to benefit others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like an anonymous forum is the place to vent about this or be put in my place. Each year, sometimes multiple times a year, my ILs give us a substantial chunk of change - in the tens of thousands -- as their way to avoid a higher tax burden (keep in mind they purport to be serious Dems) calling it a "gift" or "donation" to us. They don't ask, just transfer the money. As someone who always worked really hard to become a financial stable person, I get annoyed by this (and don't feel like it's "my" money). Is that stupid of me to complain about free money?

Unless you're a charity, they giving to you doesn't help their tax burden, and in fact adds to it because once they exceed a certain amount they have to pay a gift tax.

You have no idea what you're talking about.

A couple can effectively transfer $60k a year to another couple without counting towards their lifetime exemption. It does in fact help their tax burden. You have no idea what you are talking about.

Oh please. If all they're doing is giving money away to their children now to avoid having their estate taxed later when they're dead they're hardly "helping their tax burden." They're just making sure there's more money left to pass on to their heirs.

YOU have no idea what you're talking about.