Did I offend this teacher?

[Anonymous]

When DD was in 1st, we were new to the district and DD was so reluctant to go to school. We were so thankful for her teacher, who DD completely adored. I volunteered in the class once a week, and the teacher was very pleasant. Of course while there I was able to observe, and she was just so wonderful with the kids, it made sense why they all loved her! So at the end of the year, I slipped in a handwritten little note with the end of year gift, basically thanking her for allowing me to volunteer, explaining how comfortable she made DD and how thankful we were for that and for her, how DD was genuinely sad to be leaving 1st grade and Mrs. S, etc. After that, anytime I saw her at school events the following year, she ignored me or was cold. This year DS is in her class, and she’s very cold to me, I don’t know how to explain it. Did I offend her or creep her out with the letter? I’m so embarrassed!.

[Anonymous]

How long ago was it? If you have another kid in her class, why not shoot an email and ask?

[Anonymous]

Since you have another kid in her class, I'd ask.

"Joan, I've noticed you have been very cold to me since Scooter started in your class. If I have done something to hurt your feelings, I hope you'll let me know. We worked together as a team so well when you had Lulu in your class and I'd love to continue that relationship. Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long ago was it? If you have another kid in her class, why not shoot an email and ask?

It was two years ago. Funny thing was, I volunteered on the last day, and she was super sweet to all the parents, myself included. Then the following year, I saw her at two events and just went up to say hello with DD, and she basically wasn’t interested in giving us the time of day. Well, she was sweet to DD but said nothing to me. Now I’m volunteering again with DS and it’s like we are strangers. It’s odd.

[Anonymous]

Seriously. We cannot know what you did or didn't do to piss her off. For all you know Petty Betty from the PTA was jealous and told her that you said something nasty, or something like that. Ask her. And report back!

[Anonymous]

OP again, for reference, are these types of notes to teachers sort of creepy, for a lack of a better word? It’s all I can think now was she read the note and thought, this mom is nuts! Who doesn’t like notes telling them they are doing a great job? Ugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously. We cannot know what you did or didn't do to piss her off. For all you know Petty Betty from the PTA was jealous and told her that you said something nasty, or something like that. Ask her. And report back!

I honestly lay low and don’t even know Betty from the PTA, and she doesn’t know me from Adam. I really only within the last six months have made friends with moms from school, and this all was happening before then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, for reference, are these types of notes to teachers sort of creepy, for a lack of a better word? It’s all I can think now was she read the note and thought, this mom is nuts! Who doesn’t like notes telling them they are doing a great job? Ugh!

NO. YOU WERE PERFECTLY FINE. People need to stop second-guessing themselves.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with your note (I'm a teacher). Teachers have personal lives that can bleed into classroom interactions--I know when my son was in the hospital, my social graces were less than stellar because I was so stressed.

[Anonymous]

I had similar experience with first part of your story, great teacher in 1st grade, volunteered etc.
But when I told her how much i appreciated being able to volunteer etc we became more friendly, now we are fb friends.
So I dont think what happened to you is normal and I dont think what you did is wrong.
I would try and find out what is going on if you have another kid in the class.

[Anonymous]

Op, I don't know. Doesn't seem like you should be singled out for any particular unusual treatment but then again I do not respect teachers or parents who cross the line into friendship, when the relationship should be professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I don't know. Doesn't seem like you should be singled out for any particular unusual treatment but then again I do not respect teachers or parents who cross the line into friendship, when the relationship should be professional.

I’m not looking for friendship at all, but this is a complete 180° change in friendliness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with your note (I'm a teacher). Teachers have personal lives that can bleed into classroom interactions--I know when my son was in the hospital, my social graces were less than stellar because I was so stressed.

This is a possibility. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

As parents, we really appreciate what a teacher does for our kid. We see them as such important figures. It is sometimes emotional for us.

As teachers (which I am), we appreciate our students and their parents. Our time with them is rewarding, but they move on & are replaced with a new bunch. We give them our all while they are with us, but of course they move on.

Don't take it personally. You did great. Times change.

[Anonymous]

OP,
It sounds like you wrote a lovely note.
You cannot read people's minds. Quit worrying about it. Just act normally.