Tween girlfriend hasn’t eaten in 2 days

[Anonymous]

My 7th grade DS has a “girlfriend” (in as much as a tween has a girlfriend). They have one class together and lunch. We let them meet up about every other weekend - movies, a trampoline place, etc. We are UMC - not vacation in Europe UMC, but fed employee UMC. Her family is poor. How poor I don’t know. Anyway she’s coming over to visit today from 3-5, we are picking her up. First time over at our house. My son asked to order pepperoni pizza. Thought it was an odd request (he doesn’t eat pepperoni nor is it dinner time) so asked why. His response was she said she hasn’t eaten in 2 days so he asked what she wanted to eat. He also said she said her dad gets paid in 2 days so not to worry.
Of course we will get the pizza. And I’m sure I need to mind my own business... but I’m really not sure what to do with this information. I’m also concerned it could be an eating disorder - maybe not eating has nothing to do with being poor (although the comment about dad getting paid makes me think otherwise).
Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Some kids don’t eat when school is out. Everybody knows this.

What more are you asking?

[Anonymous]

You need to double check with the girl and make pleasant conversation about how she spent her Thanksgiving break.

[Anonymous]

Just feed her at your house and send her home with leftovers.

[Anonymous]

When you go to pick her up, go to the door to meet the parents. See what vibe you get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You need to double check with the girl and make pleasant conversation about how she spent her Thanksgiving break.

Thanks.i was also thinking it could be attention seeking behavior. Not sure what to do if it’s that either.

[Anonymous]

This totally breaks my heart. I think you can try to be helpful within limits. We're similar to you in terms of income/class and my sons happen to have friends at both extremes of the income spectrum. They're tween/teen boys so I always overdo the food! But I also make a point of offering rides to the kid whose parents work long hours at restaurant jobs so that he doesn't have to walk long distances or skip social activities simply because he doesn't have a ride. Maybe you can find a way to host the "girlfriend" more regularly? Send her home with the leftover pizza (make up an excuse about not wanting the temptation)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You need to double check with the girl and make pleasant conversation about how she spent her Thanksgiving break.

Thanks.i was also thinking it could be attention seeking behavior. Not sure what to do if it’s that either.

Attention-seeking behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You need to double check with the girl and make pleasant conversation about how she spent her Thanksgiving break.

Thanks.i was also thinking it could be attention seeking behavior. Not sure what to do if it’s that either.

Attention-seeking behavior?

Yes--telling a friend that she hasn't eaten in 2 days (but really she has) would be done to elicit attention. Evidence: this thread here.

[Anonymous]

Does she have clothes that she wears all the time? How is their car? Does she ever have your son go to her place? How is her place? Poverty is a real thing, and sadly people are oblivious to it. As far as pps suggesting it is attention seeking behavior, even if it was, which I don't think it is, I would not care and would provide food and extra to take home. I would never be so callous to leave a kid hungry. How would you all feel if you were so callous and you found out later that she is telling the truth?

[Anonymous]

Plus OP said she knows her family is poor. This thread right here shows why there is a divide in the U.S. Oblivious limousine liberals can't even fathom that a child is hungry and would rather turn their eyes away from it and blame the child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus OP said she knows her family is poor. This thread right here shows why there is a divide in the U.S. Oblivious limousine liberals can't even fathom that a child is hungry and would rather turn their eyes away from it and blame the child!

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus OP said she knows her family is poor. This thread right here shows why there is a divide in the U.S. Oblivious limousine liberals can't even fathom that a child is hungry and would rather turn their eyes away from it and blame the child!

Calm down. OP said she was going to feed her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus OP said she knows her family is poor. This thread right here shows why there is a divide in the U.S. Oblivious limousine liberals can't even fathom that a child is hungry and would rather turn their eyes away from it and blame the child!

???? Your Bias is unwarranted.

[Anonymous]

My son had friend from age two that always asked for food.

He asked for simple things like a tuna sandwich or peanut butter.

He also asked for a bath. We didn't do that.

Just so he wouldn't feel out of place. My son and I planed some baking and cooking for afternoons when this boy came over. I think this helped my son as well, that understanding someone else's struggles, might mean trying to figure out little ways to help.

It was obvious this family was having struggles.

This was a very upper income family. Very sad.

I will be honest I wasn't good about understanding why their house was gross, beyond gross and no car pooling on their end. I always offered to drive. His mom used to drive with infants in her lap, UGH...

This went on through high school. Boys have graduated from college now.YaY. Unfortunately, the boy in questions mom just got charged with a DUI...