Want another baby but husband has a drinking problem

[Anonymous]

Just bitter... Have kids already and they are the light of my life.
I wish I could have another but constantly dealing with lies about alcohol, hiding amount drinking, etc.
Anyone BTDT? Goes without saying he has no plans to address his issue unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

How many kids? Ages?

How do you handle his alcohol problems in regard to your children now?

[Anonymous]

Alanon helped me.

[Anonymous]

Go to al-anon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many kids? Ages?

How do you handle his alcohol problems in regard to your children now?

Under 5. I don’t leave them alone overnight (is- don’t travel). I always drive. I handle all family logistics - bills, doctors, clothes and shoes buying, etc.
What I need to work on: getting upset around the kids.

[Anonymous]

What you need to work on: getting a divorce

[Anonymous]

If your DH really has a drinking problem, you don’t want another baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your DH really has a drinking problem, you don’t want another baby.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your DH really has a drinking problem, you don’t want another baby.

I know. And I’m just so mad about that.
Sometimes I think if I’m going to end up alone, at least I’d have the kids I want : (
Not going to do that, just venting my selfish thoughts.

[Anonymous]

You can divorce him and get a sperm donor.

[Anonymous]

You do not need another child in this situation, as there is a reasonable likelihood his drinking will worsen and lead to job loss and/or divorce. Regarding your husband, you need to force the issue and bring the bottom up to him, rather then waiting for him to hit it on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can divorce him and get a sperm donor.

Or if you want your kids to have the same genetic makeup you could use him as a sperm donor then divorce him. But definitely divorce him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not need another child in this situation, as there is a reasonable likelihood his drinking will worsen and lead to job loss and/or divorce. Regarding your husband, you need to force the issue and bring the bottom up to him, rather then waiting for him to hit it on his own.

Long term prognosis is generally not good with an alcoholic. Job loss or business loss is common. Health issues start in around age 45 and sometimes younger.
By their 50's alcoholics that are still alive generally have multiple health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not need another child in this situation, as there is a reasonable likelihood his drinking will worsen and lead to job loss and/or divorce. Regarding your husband, you need to force the issue and bring the bottom up to him, rather then waiting for him to hit it on his own.

Can you please elaborate? I always hear that he needs to realize the problem on his own, that I can’t change it. Furthermore, whenever I’ve tried to control the drinking he just gets angry at me. I’m assuming if I give him an ultimatum, he will either agree to split or stop drinking for a certain amount of time and hate me for it.

[Anonymous]

Hey. I’m the alcoholic mom/wife who posted at the beginning of this thread. I think I would encourage you to not have another baby. If you have more specific questions for me as an alcoholic parent in very very early recovery I am happy to answer them


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