When you get constant “advice” from your mom

[Anonymous]

...how do you cope? I feel like 75% of the sentences she says to me start with “you should...” or “you need to”. Topics include food/cooking, home maintenance, kids, etc. I try to just go with it, but I’m getting tired.

[Anonymous]

Say Ok, Ok, ok,

Or mom thanks for the advice, but I'm an adult now.

Then get a glass of wine that you love, enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Stay the course. She’s trying to stay relevant and in your life.

You don’t have to respond or act on anything. Just listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say Ok, Ok, ok,

Or mom thanks for the advice, but I'm an adult now.

Then get a glass of wine that you love, enjoy.

Thank you! Heading for the wine...

[Anonymous]

"I'm not looking for advice right now"

[Anonymous]

Hey, that’s nothing! Wait until you get “I contacted the school on your behalf”...

[Anonymous]

“You know what you should do...”

“YES.”

[Anonymous]

I always redirect. Change the topic to something else she loooves to talk about. If she catches on or insists, I'll let her say her advice, then say something like "Interesting! Never thought of that. Thanks!" Then change the subject again.

[Anonymous]

recognize that the relationship is shifting and you are doing what she needs (like she once did for you).

also recognize that this means she isn't someone to rely on for emotional support, even if she once was.

just part of growing older.

[Anonymous]

Op, sit with your Mom, hold her hand, tell her you love her but say that you need to suggest a different dynamic. You would like her to treat you as an equal. You would like her to treat you as a friend. If she wouldn't say it to a friend, she shouldn't say it to you. She shouldn't give advice -about anything- unless asked. Start with that. (you can be flexible on the "anything" but start with a hard line). Tell her you know change is hard. Do not back down based on her saying, "but I'm you Mother ... I'll always be your Mother ...it's how I show my love ...etc"

[Anonymous]

My mom is like this about money. I talk to her multiple times during the week and she always manages to steer the conversation towards my finances. Her favorite phrase is "I don't see you saving." It drives me nuts because she doesn't actually know my financial position, she's just fishing for information. I could mention buying my kids a new coat or celebrating a birthday party and she'll go on a rant about finances.

Over the years I have learned that I need to remind her it is none of her business. Just last week I reminded her she's never paid a single one of my bills and not once have I ever asked her for money. So she has no actual right to ask me about my finances. She was extremely quick at moving on from the conversation.

Most of the time I just say uh huh and steer the conversation elsewhere. Occasionally I exploded and put her in her place.

[Anonymous]

It is her job.
Just be gracious and kind and accept any and all advice, some of them might be actually good.
What you do with it is another story. Listen to everything, this is her way to be useful and
socializing, she has to talk about something. What if you take it away and there will be
nothing left? Let go OP. One day she will be gone and you will really really really
missing those moments. They are not coming back.
Smile and nod and say thank you .. that is interesting, I will think about it.
You are mom, you will be the same, your kids will be like you, no generation really
need advice, but the way you handle it is reflecting on who you are.

[Anonymous]

If you say so, Mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is like this about money. I talk to her multiple times during the week and she always manages to steer the conversation towards my finances. Her favorite phrase is "I don't see you saving." It drives me nuts because she doesn't actually know my financial position, she's just fishing for information. I could mention buying my kids a new coat or celebrating a birthday party and she'll go on a rant about finances.

Over the years I have learned that I need to remind her it is none of her business. Just last week I reminded her she's never paid a single one of my bills and not once have I ever asked her for money. So she has no actual right to ask me about my finances. She was extremely quick at moving on from the conversation.

Most of the time I just say uh huh and steer the conversation elsewhere. Occasionally I exploded and put her in her place.

Haha, mine is the same way. If she ever asks where I got something I have to tell her it was on clearance or something. Or lie that it’s old. “How much was that shirt!” “$15 mom” “you should be saving your money instead of shopping!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is her job.
Just be gracious and kind and accept any and all advice, some of them might be actually good.
What you do with it is another story. Listen to everything, this is her way to be useful and
socializing, she has to talk about something. What if you take it away and there will be
nothing left? Let go OP. One day she will be gone and you will really really really
missing those moments. They are not coming back.
Smile and nod and say thank you .. that is interesting, I will think about it.
You are mom, you will be the same, your kids will be like you, no generation really
need advice, but the way you handle it is reflecting on who you are.

Yeah, no. Just stop. I bet you are already “That Friend,” “That Sister” and “That Coworker.”