Sleepover - bedtime?

[Anonymous]

If you host a sleepover party (not just one kid) do you enforce a bedtime? If so, what time for what ages? My 10yo daughter attended a party last night where they went to bed at....never. I was surprised and question that judgement. Am I out of it or is this kind of weird?

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to the parents about this and what normal bedtime is for you child. Most kids that age go to bed between 8 and 11. I would be ok at 11:30, possibly midnight but not all night.

[Anonymous]

They are too giggly and excited to fall asleep at the stroke of, say, 9pm.

For us, I have them in their pjs and sleeping bags at 10pm. Lights out by 1030...knowing they'll still be chatting, laughing, whatever after that for a bit longer, but at least the room is dark and encouraging sleep.

When it is a big group party, there will always be that 1 kid who won't want to sleep, sugared up from the cake, keeps everyone else awake, shows everyone her tablet, etc.

Plus, it is a sleepover. By default, you know the kids aren't going to get quality or quanitity of sleep. Just unclench. It is 1 night; 1 fun and silly night.

Have you never been to a sleepover growing up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to the parents about this and what normal bedtime is for you child. Most kids that age go to bed between 8 and 11. I would be ok at 11:30, possibly midnight but not all night.

I don't think the is necessary because I won't be sending my daughter back for another sleepover. I was just shocked. There were a lot of girls there (over 10) so I can't be the only one who was taken aback. At least they had fun! Hope they can chew on that for a while, because never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are too giggly and excited to fall asleep at the stroke of, say, 9pm.

For us, I have them in their pjs and sleeping bags at 10pm. Lights out by 1030...knowing they'll still be chatting, laughing, whatever after that for a bit longer, but at least the room is dark and encouraging sleep.

When it is a big group party, there will always be that 1 kid who won't want to sleep, sugared up from the cake, keeps everyone else awake, shows everyone her tablet, etc.

Plus, it is a sleepover. By default, you know the kids aren't going to get quality or quanitity of sleep. Just unclench. It is 1 night; 1 fun and silly night.

Have you never been to a sleepover growing up?

I went to and hosted them all the time! Never just didn't go to sleep until college probably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to the parents about this and what normal bedtime is for you child. Most kids that age go to bed between 8 and 11. I would be ok at 11:30, possibly midnight but not all night.

I don't think the is necessary because I won't be sending my daughter back for another sleepover. I was just shocked. There were a lot of girls there (over 10) so I can't be the only one who was taken aback. At least they had fun! Hope they can chew on that for a while, because never again.

So, what time was bedtime? Are we talking up to the crack of dawn or like midnight?

[Anonymous]

They go to sleep when they want to sleep. The first one to fall asleep gets pranked in our house

[Anonymous]

My kids have an earlier bedtime than most - around 8. But I would be fine if they went to bed at 11 or so. I rather if the next day is a lazy family day than with planned activities. If it doesn't happen every weekend, no big deal - and I'm a stickler for bedtime and bedtime routine in general.

[Anonymous]

It is not unusual for them to stay up all night/until 2 or 3am. My 10 year old went to one a couple weeks ago and was the first to fall asleep, well after midnight. For a party with a group of girls this is pretty common. I would not allow it if it’s just a regular friend sleep over, but for a birthday party it’s pretty expected and they keep each other up and if you don’t sit in the room and force them to be quiet they will stay up very very late.

My younger DD I had a sleepover party for her 7th birthday and I sat in the room and made them go to sleep at 11. I was not going to be able to fall asleep with 7 year olds awake in my house. But 10/5th grade I think is different. At my DD’s 10th they did sleep, but I don’t remember how much. I let them stay in the basement and I went to bed. I don’t know what I’d do with 9 year olds but 7-8 they sleep upstairs near us and they go to sleep no later than 11. The parents who let their kids come to my daughter’s 7th birthday sleepover were happy/impressed they went to bed at 11!

[Anonymous]

I would enforce quiet time by 10:00, but once they are lying down with the lights dimmed, I am not staying up to monitor whether they are asleep or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to the parents about this and what normal bedtime is for you child. Most kids that age go to bed between 8 and 11. I would be ok at 11:30, possibly midnight but not all night.

I don't think the is necessary because I won't be sending my daughter back for another sleepover. I was just shocked. There were a lot of girls there (over 10) so I can't be the only one who was taken aback. At least they had fun! Hope they can chew on that for a while, because never again.

So, what time was bedtime? Are we talking up to the crack of dawn or like midnight?

I said it in the original post. They DIDN'T go to bed AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you host a sleepover party (not just one kid) do you enforce a bedtime? If so, what time for what ages? My 10yo daughter attended a party last night where they went to bed at....never. I was surprised and question that judgement. Am I out of it or is this kind of weird?

Are you 100% sure they never went to sleep at all? Sometimes the "story" they tell about the party (we NEVER slept) is larger than life when the truth is that they stayed up talking far later than they would have be allowed to on a normal night and then they fell asleep. I know DD couldn't have made it through the night without sleeping in her pre-teen years.

[Anonymous]

I think with a group of kids it is nearly impossible to have a bed time unless you are going to sit in the room and yell if they are not quiet and still..in which case please have another type of party. I think it is my obligation to have them in PJs in a dark room at a certain hour but how long the chatter goes on is up to them.

I have had a friend sleepover where both kids were told in advance that bed time is at 9 as Larla has to be up early in the morning etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think with a group of kids it is nearly impossible to have a bed time unless you are going to sit in the room and yell if they are not quiet and still..in which case please have another type of party. I think it is my obligation to have them in PJs in a dark room at a certain hour but how long the chatter goes on is up to them.

I have had a friend sleepover where both kids were told in advance that bed time is at 9 as Larla has to be up early in the morning etc.

Basically agree with this except for the younger kids I will sit in the room and make them go to sleep eventually. They get ready for bed at 9, they have “lights out” at 10, I let them sneak around until 11 and then I tell them it’s really time to go to sleep and sit in the room while they do so. This is for 1st and 2nd graders.

[Anonymous]

For a party there will almost always be some kids who don’t sleep. You plan or that the next day. For a sleepover with a few kids, I have a midnight bedtime. I think her friends’ families are in the same range. That being said, I’ve gotten up at 1 or 1:30 and had to send kids to bed.