DH grieving over cat is starting to be too much for me to deal with

[Anonymous]

The cat was my favorite, and I was his. I know everyone deals with loss differently, but DH has been crying over the loss of our cat every night for the past week. It did happen suddenly, and he was too young, but I wish DH would man up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cat was my favorite, and I was his. I know everyone deals with loss differently, but DH has been crying over the loss of our cat every night for the past week. It did happen suddenly, and he was too young, but I wish DH would man up.

That's actually quite heartbreaking-- my DH would be mess if something happened to our dog...she's the sweetest. I'm def our dog's favorite but we all love her to pieces.

[Anonymous]

Yuck, OP. You’re really awful. Everyone grieves differently. Just because he is a man, he shouldn’t be expected not to have feelings. That is a super toxic attitude.

Sounds like your husband is a loving, caring person. Try to be on his side.

[Anonymous]

Would it change your opinion if I told you he’s drinking 5+ drinks every night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would it change your opinion if I told you he’s drinking 5+ drinks every night?

Uh, that is wildly different behavior than just crying over the cat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would it change your opinion if I told you he’s drinking 5+ drinks every night?

Uh, that is wildly different behavior than just crying over the cat!

Well, he says he’s drinking to relax and wants to veg, starts with a couple drinks of bourbon or scotch, has a couple glasses of wine with dinner, then has a few more glasses of bourbon / scotch after I go to bed. He says he’s just having “a glass” each time, but it’s not given he’s the only one in the house that drinks from his huge collection. Then he feels sad / depressed and cries. I understand the crying and grieving, but I think the alcohol is making it worse.

[Anonymous]

Alcohol is a depressant, of course it's making him worse.

[Anonymous]

Okay Trolly-Anna

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would it change your opinion if I told you he’s drinking 5+ drinks every night?

So, you're now saying that your DH is drinking 5+ drinks per night and crying over your deceased cat? It does paint a different picture.

[Anonymous]

Is the drinking thing new? Drinking that much every night is different than suddenly drinking that much because of the cat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the drinking thing new? Drinking that much every night is different than suddenly drinking that much because of the cat.

It’s drastically escalated.

[Anonymous]

How’s the drinking affecting his behavior?

[Anonymous]

Crying is no doubt a direct result of the drinking excessively.

Have you given him a pep talk? "Honey, the drinking is making the sad thoughts about Beaverton much worse. Please promise me you will not get out the scotch tonight. Beaverton would not want to see you like this."

[Anonymous]

Have you stopped to consider that more is going on with him than you know? My DH drank when work was worrying him, but would tell me it was something else like he got into with his brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cat was my favorite, and I was his. I know everyone deals with loss differently, but DH has been crying over the loss of our cat every night for the past week. It did happen suddenly, and he was too young, but I wish DH would man up.

Hey dum-dum, you think it's about more than a cat?