How to say we will stay at a hotel for Thanksgiving

Anonymous
We are going to my sisters who has a new baby. The house will be pretty full - siblings, mom,
Step-dad, cousin, myself and my family are all out of town houseguests. With the baby not in her own room yet, there will be enough bedrooms for everyone but not enough bathrooms. It’s not the most comfortable stay but we usually put up with it and have fun. DH really wants to stay in a hotel this time. I agree a nice hotel room would be much more comfortable -and we would just go there to sleep - but I feel my sister will be offended & my mom will be pissed. What would you do? And if hotel - how can I word this most tactfully?
Anonymous
Hey, sis, we're going to be staying at X hotel.

(in response to anything)

Okay.
OR
Hmmm …
OR
It just what works best for us. (no reasons that can be argued -- only variations of "it's what we are going to do")

(Then change subject. Be friendly and warm, but vague.)
Anonymous
Make it sound like you and your DH want some “alone time” or “romantic time.”
Anonymous
Put your big girl pants on and say ‘we are staying in a hotel’. It’s not that hard. Practice in the mirror if you need to get up the courage.
Anonymous
That is a lot of people for any non-mansion house. Won’t the other guests be relieved? How is there even enough hot water?
Anonymous
She might be relieved, with a new baby.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Put your big girl pants on and say ‘we are staying in a hotel’. It’s not that hard. Practice in the mirror if you need to get up the courage.


Yea! It’s “Big Girl Pants” poster!

I agree with the PP who said your sister may actually be ok with it, given the new baby. Or she’ll be too distracted to care.
Anonymous
If you feel like you need an excuse maybe you could say that your kids sleep better away from all the activity from all of the people around?
Anonymous
"we don't want to put you to so much trouble, hosting dinner, hosting all the guests, etc". We are staying at a hotel to take a bit off your plate.
Anonymous
Thanks all. You’re right. It’s just something that has to be said. She won’t be relived though. I earnestly asked her because it’s going to be a full house and her exact reply was “are you insane. You’re staying here”


PS - The bathroom sitch is the worst. The sleeping isn’t the best either. But we love being there for the most part and always have a lot of fun.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She might be relieved, with a new baby.


+1. I would be! But I know family members who get offended about stuff like this too. I think you just assure them you’ll be spending all day and evening w them (if true) and the hotel is just for sleeping and showering.
Anonymous
Hey, sis, we have some hotel points that are expiring. We're going to use them this Thanksgiving. Maybe the cousins can come swim in the hotel pool! Can't wait to see you!
Anonymous
What’s the bathroom situation?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Make it sound like you and your DH want some “alone time” or “romantic time.”


Oh, you'll have much more fun with us.
You have plenty of time for that!
We'll take the kids out and you can have the place to yourselves.

Anonymous wrote:If you feel like you need an excuse maybe you could say that your kids sleep better away from all the activity from all of the people around?


We'll be extra quiet!
They can stay in the back room.
They'll be so worn out from all the excitement. It'll be fine.

Anonymous wrote:"we don't want to put you to so much trouble, hosting dinner, hosting all the guests, etc". We are staying at a hotel to take a bit off your plate.


No trouble at all!
We'd much rather have you with us. Don't do it for us!
Oh, I love hosting, you know that. I look forward to it all year.

Anonymous wrote:Hey, sis, we have some hotel points that are expiring. We're going to use them this Thanksgiving. Maybe the cousins can come swim in the hotel pool! Can't wait to see you!


You should save the for another trip/use them up earlier/let Uncle Larlo and Aunt Larla use them, since they can't sleep on the floor.
I know a website where you can exchange them, so you can stay with us!
Don't you love your family more than being thrifty?

---

NO REASONS. NO EXCUSES. Vague and friendly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. You’re right. It’s just something that has to be said. She won’t be relived though. I earnestly asked her because it’s going to be a full house and her exact reply was “are you insane. You’re staying here”


PS - The bathroom sitch is the worst. The sleeping isn’t the best either. But we love being there for the most part and always have a lot of fun.


Tell her you appreciate it, but you decided to go with the hotel, and you can't wait to see the baby. The first time is the hardest, but they will all get used to it.
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