How to say we will stay at a hotel for Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Depending on the ages/maturity of the cousins, is it possible to let your kids stay at your sisters for at least some of the nights?

[Anonymous]

My favorite was my BIL, "We're just hotel people, nothing personal." Everyone knows it, nobody cares and he often jokes with us by bringing samples from the personal products left in the nice hotel bathroom and leaving them in our various powder rooms. I love my BIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"we don't want to put you to so much trouble, hosting dinner, hosting all the guests, etc". We are staying at a hotel to take a bit off your plate.

DON’T say this. It’s so annoying when someone tries to justify what they want to do by making it seem like they are really just thinking of you. Own your choice — don’t put it in someone else.

Yes, please don't do this. My mother does this all the time. She does what she wants (which in itself is fine) but then tries to make it sound like she's doing it for us, or our kids--which is the part that always pisses me off. No, you're doing it because that's what YOU want. Just say that. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"we don't want to put you to so much trouble, hosting dinner, hosting all the guests, etc". We are staying at a hotel to take a bit off your plate.

DON’T say this. It’s so annoying when someone tries to justify what they want to do by making it seem like they are really just thinking of you. Own your choice — don’t put it in someone else.

Yes, please don't do this. My mother does this all the time. She does what she wants (which in itself is fine) but then tries to make it sound like she's doing it for us, or our kids--which is the part that always pisses me off. No, you're doing it because that's what YOU want. Just say that. Ugh.

I disagree..it is totally easier for the host not to have to deal with people staying with them at the same time. You get to have your kitchen to yourself for a small window. You are likely not serving breakfast. I get that some people just love to host like that but others do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"we don't want to put you to so much trouble, hosting dinner, hosting all the guests, etc". We are staying at a hotel to take a bit off your plate.

No. You're actually eliminating 2 more adults that could've looked after the baby while she hosted dinner. Just own your decision. DW and I always stay in a hotel regardless of how many rooms they have. It's just more convenient to have your own bathroom, unlimited water, and no restrictions during holiday travel (which already sucks). Being in a house with a baby can be very restricting given bedtimes, noise levels, etc.

OP is still going to the dinner.

[Anonymous]

"We just need our own space and quiet at the end of the day and will be more comfortable in the hotel. But we will be with you during the day and look forward to seeing you and that delicious baby!" Ignore any pleading or whining.

As her sister, be sure to help clean up and get the house organized before you leave though. She is sure to be overwhelmed as a new mom hosting. Ask if you could hold the baby while she showers, offer to vacuum or put up dishes and take out the trash on the way out the door.

[Anonymous]

I am having a large crowd stay for thanksgiving, I would actually be relieved if one of the families opted for a hotel.

[Anonymous]

We have faced a similar situation, we just say we will sleep better at hotel not having to deal with air mattresses etc.

[Anonymous]

I think it is quite rude for a host to insist a guest stay at their home. Aside from my parents, I really don't like staying with people. It is usually awkward.