50/50 custody?

[Anonymous]

Would a Virginia court be apt to changing it I'd iits been the case for a few years? Just got served. [list]

[Anonymous]

You mean your ex is trying to take custody away from you? What are the circumstances? It can happen surely but depends on circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean your ex is trying to take custody away from you? What are the circumstances? It can happen surely but depends on circumstances.

Says bad co-parenting

[Anonymous]

Of people I know, these are reasons people who had 50/50 were then given less parenting time:

-moved an hour from the area where both parents had lived, moved multiple times in a two year period, had multiple jobs and multiple relationships during that time. Judge said the other parent was more stable and should get more time. The parent may be able to get back to 50/50 if they move back to the original area

-multiple DUIs (has to have a breathalizer ignition), also erratic behavior and uses abusive language over email and text (although it seems like the DUIs were the big thing for the courts)

-Lied and said they were a single parent and had the new spouse adopt the child!!

So the bar is pretty high to shift from shared to primary custody. That said the best things you can do for your case are hire a lawyer, meet your obligations, keep a respectful tone in person and in all communications, if you feel yourself getting frustrated with your ex just disengage, don't speak ill of your ex to your child. If you are doing all that, there is a very high probability that you will be fine-although it is frustrating to spend money on lawyers for a frivolous fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of people I know, these are reasons people who had 50/50 were then given less parenting time:

-moved an hour from the area where both parents had lived, moved multiple times in a two year period, had multiple jobs and multiple relationships during that time. Judge said the other parent was more stable and should get more time. The parent may be able to get back to 50/50 if they move back to the original area

-multiple DUIs (has to have a breathalizer ignition), also erratic behavior and uses abusive language over email and text (although it seems like the DUIs were the big thing for the courts)

-Lied and said they were a single parent and had the new spouse adopt the child!!

So the bar is pretty high to shift from shared to primary custody. That said the best things you can do for your case are hire a lawyer, meet your obligations, keep a respectful tone in person and in all communications, if you feel yourself getting frustrated with your ex just disengage, don't speak ill of your ex to your child. If you are doing all that, there is a very high probability that you will be fine-although it is frustrating to spend money on lawyers for a frivolous fight.

So coparenting isn't really the bar?

[Anonymous]

Depends on what bad co parenting means. If you refuse to communicate or you are alienating the child or you are bad mouthing the other parent or you are refusing to hand the child over or pick the child up etc. - basically if you are doing things that are harming your child's relationship with the other parent - then there could be an issue.

If you are disagreeing or not on the same page or frustrated with each other - then no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of people I know, these are reasons people who had 50/50 were then given less parenting time:

-moved an hour from the area where both parents had lived, moved multiple times in a two year period, had multiple jobs and multiple relationships during that time. Judge said the other parent was more stable and should get more time. The parent may be able to get back to 50/50 if they move back to the original area

-multiple DUIs (has to have a breathalizer ignition), also erratic behavior and uses abusive language over email and text (although it seems like the DUIs were the big thing for the courts)

-Lied and said they were a single parent and had the new spouse adopt the child!!

So the bar is pretty high to shift from shared to primary custody. That said the best things you can do for your case are hire a lawyer, meet your obligations, keep a respectful tone in person and in all communications, if you feel yourself getting frustrated with your ex just disengage, don't speak ill of your ex to your child. If you are doing all that, there is a very high probability that you will be fine-although it is frustrating to spend money on lawyers for a frivolous fight.

So coparenting isn't really the bar?

Depends whether you are a bad coparent like: you don't abide by legal agreements, you refuse to let your coparent have the child on their legal time, you aren't available to have the child on your time, you threaten your coparent, you curse your coparent, you don't provide a safe, minimally clean enviroment, you don't get your child to school. Those are all big problems that might get you in trouble with a judge.

But if you are a "bad coparent" as in you don't do things exactly the way your ex wants but your child is still fed, cared for, reasonably clean, arriving at school on time or your ex is making demands outside of your custody agreement and they are angry you won't comply, you are probably okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of people I know, these are reasons people who had 50/50 were then given less parenting time:

-moved an hour from the area where both parents had lived, moved multiple times in a two year period, had multiple jobs and multiple relationships during that time. Judge said the other parent was more stable and should get more time. The parent may be able to get back to 50/50 if they move back to the original area

-multiple DUIs (has to have a breathalizer ignition), also erratic behavior and uses abusive language over email and text (although it seems like the DUIs were the big thing for the courts)

-Lied and said they were a single parent and had the new spouse adopt the child!!

So the bar is pretty high to shift from shared to primary custody. That said the best things you can do for your case are hire a lawyer, meet your obligations, keep a respectful tone in person and in all communications, if you feel yourself getting frustrated with your ex just disengage, don't speak ill of your ex to your child. If you are doing all that, there is a very high probability that you will be fine-although it is frustrating to spend money on lawyers for a frivolous fight.

So coparenting isn't really the bar?

Depends whether you are a bad coparent like: you don't abide by legal agreements, you refuse to let your coparent have the child on their legal time, you aren't available to have the child on your time, you threaten your coparent, you curse your coparent, you don't provide a safe, minimally clean enviroment, you don't get your child to school. Those are all big problems that might get you in trouble with a judge.

But if you are a "bad coparent" as in you don't do things exactly the way your ex wants but your child is still fed, cared for, reasonably clean, arriving at school on time or your ex is making demands outside of your custody agreement and they are angry you won't comply, you are probably okay.

It feels like shared to physical is more of a schedule issue than an issue of "can you get along?".

[Anonymous]

OP do you know if your co-parent feels like the logistics aren't working or if they have complaints about your parenting?

[Anonymous]

I know someone in this situation and bad co-parenting means the other parent does not attend legally mandated sessions with a parenting coordinator, is verbally abusive to the co-parent and has been recorded being verbally abusive, and says terrible shit about the other parent in front of kids who are definitely old enough to tell a judge it's happening.

So if this is you, I hope you're screwed and lose 50/50 custody of your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone in this situation and bad co-parenting means the other parent does not attend legally mandated sessions with a parenting coordinator, is verbally abusive to the co-parent and has been recorded being verbally abusive, and says terrible shit about the other parent in front of kids who are definitely old enough to tell a judge it's happening.

So if this is you, I hope you're screwed and lose 50/50 custody of your kids.

It's none of that.

[Anonymous]

Hi, it's hard to change

[Anonymous]

It is very HARD to disrupt the status quo. That said it can be done. Get an attorney ASAP.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend who lost because of work schedules.

[Anonymous]

Virginia recognizes parallel parenting too. When parents can’t get along. While you have the kids, what you say goes. While they have the kids, what they say goes.